Saturday, September 16, 2006

Hungover Rant (Caution: Possible lack of direction)

So they are repainting/residing my apartment. Great, Machon likes the effort. But, the problem is currently, the guy who is doing my section, is way to friggin gung-ho about his job. He actually is trying to have conversations, through the 2nd floore window, with me while scraping the wood. I have a few points to make at this juncture:

1) What is my duty? Or more specifically. Where do my priorities lay? Do I have to talk to him? Does his issue concern me? Before I came down stairs, he was getting into family life.... Machon doesn't want to get into family life with a guy who may or may not be allowed into freeze pop land without a thorough search down. In fact, even at my own family parties, I usually end up A) Drunk or B) talking with Clarke and/or Hadley.

2) Why do people think they can just talk to anyone? I really only talk to about 10, maybe 12 people at all times. This is because I firmly believe that, inherently, everyone is a foul piece of manure. Maybe not on the surface, but somewhere inside they smell like mittens (3 people get that reference, but then again.. going with the point of the post, F the rest of you).

3) Most people have a very different view on culture than 10CFP. Scratch that, most people that I find myself unwillingly surrounded with don't share our cultural norms. I am a big fan of not forcing an issue, not forcing a topic, not forcing anything..(Besides the fact I am a huge fan of peer pressure and really have developed an expertise at it at this point) I also pride myself on my chameleon ability to morph into different situations. Perfect example, at my last family party I had a 20 minute conversation with a two (DISTANT) relatives about current real estate market trends. How easy entry is and all possible barriers of entry. (now if I mentioned entry barriers to these guys, it would not have registered, but then again you need to know when to dumb up a convo, that is almost more important than being able to Darwin yourself into any situation). I don't own property, hell I don't own a gallon of milk, but I facilitated this conversation with such gusto that they probably think I am running condos in Newburyport.

4) When it comes to drinking, I am becoming a skirt. Last night I threw up in a cup after taking a Jager shot. Seriously, Upchucked into a cup. (Low point) Then, because of points mentioned above, I tried to get a refund on the drink saying that they severed me an awful beer. This failed, because there was obviously throw-up in the cup.

5) I am not upset about the red sox situation. I really am not. No team (and screw you Covell, and the rest of you MFY fans who think that losing Matsui, Cano and Sheff compare.. it does not) has suffered through a season like this in a long time. Allow me to explain.

a. With the loss of 3 players, the MFY’s still had the best top of the lineup in baseball
b. You only have so many, major league ready, replacement level players in a system. The Red Sox have nearly exhausted theirs at this point
c. The Red Sox, during the course of the season were with out (what’s the best way to do this? Hell, in the spirit of the game lets go around the horn)
1. Jon Lester, David Wells, Keith Foulke, Mike Timlin, Tim Wakefield, Jonathan Papalbon, Matt Clement. (Then there are the issues of David Pauley, David Riske, and Lenny DiNardo who were all placed on the DL for different reasons)
2. Jason Varitek, Doug Mirrabelli
3. Papi
4. Mark Loretta
5. How has he been healthy? He would have to be the suprise of the year. If you asked me in March, what Red Sox would not be playing (and playing unreal defense) in September, it would have been Mike Lowell.
6. Alex Gonzalez
7. Manny Rameriz
8. Coco Crisp
9. Trot Nixon and Wily Mo Pena

Feel Free to add on, I am sure I am missing plenty of people (we also traded a guy who threw a no-no, a guy hitting over .340, a catcher who makes Javy Lopez look like, well, Javy Lopez, A guy going 3 for 4 nightly with extra base hits up the poop chute, A beast of a kid hitting grand slams, etc.)

End of Rant.

Also, those who wish we talked about more football. I have a recommendation for you.
Bet against Carolina. That’s all I am giving you. No explanation.. Once a week I will give you a pick (I have my reasons) and if I end up with more than 14 correct I will by a beer for everyone who visits the site, yes.. even our Malaysian friend:

So thanks for reading this pile of shit, and now I give you a musical masterpiece and 5 points while you come on and swing it.

1) Why bench press in your video?

2) Why does Marky want to see sweat coming out of my pores? I am actually on my way to the gym, does his offer still stand? Can I call him up and let him know that sweat will, in fact, becoming out of my pores and he is more than welcome to watch.

3) I don't like Sunkist, I actually don't drink soda.. and further more.. why is Vibration good like Sunkist? Does that limit the quality of Vibration. And what type of Vibration are we talking about? Certainly not an earthquake, that wouldn't be cool. And Mark. I don't feel it, and I really don't want to come on, come on, come on.

4)"Donnie G is on the back up, Drug Free, so put the crack up" Wouldn't you want to put the crack down? Putting it up implies that it is up for grabs, free for the masses. And who the hell is Donnie G. I am guessing he is on guy you says "feel it, feel it" but does he deserve a spot in the song? Why not the girl who belts out the chorus? Is she not, "on the back up"? I believe she is much more "on the backup" than Donnie G. And what does G stand for? I am going with Griffin.

5) Who in gods name gave them access to this unsafe warehouse? It is clearly not pass the construction phase, there are no f'in walls. And why are there puddles? Who is the guy doing the back flips (which makes zero sense in itself) in puddles? And Mark couldn’t get a set of normal weights? I would have to imagine that it would be easier to join a gym than welding cinder blocks onto a pole. Also, they are definitely driving fast and recklessly when videotaping the city scene. You could chalk it up to some decent editing, but you need to keep in mind... this was Marky Mark before the transformation.. little to editing was happening.

-I actually love that piano riff.

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