Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Globe Trotting
One of things I really enjoy about flipping through a Sunday paper is the randomness of seeing which stories and sections grab my attention from week to week. Maybe it's an interesting Travel piece. Maybe a book or movie review that sends me straight to my Amazon wish list or Netflix queue. Or maybe it's a long feature in the Ideas or Sports section. It could be almost anything.
That's where this feature comes in. In this space, I want to share the journey through the Sunday paper by presenting my top five list of the most interesting pieces of the week. The rules are simple. There are no limits on what's eligible. Could be a small blurb. Could be three stories in the same section. Whatever's clever. As long it catches my fancy it's fair game. And, on that note, let's dive into a first pass (in no particular order) below.
Clarke's Globe Picks of the Week (10/25/2009)
1) Headline: Coming Around Again
Author: Joan Anderman
Description: Record-contract limbo behind her, Carly Simon revisits her classics and makes new album a family affair
Comments: I'm far from the world's biggest Carly Simon fan. I mean, I've got You're So Vain and Nobody Does It Better on my ipod. Don't get me wrong. I know about the failed marriage to James Taylor. I'm familiar with their son Ben Taylor and his music. That's pretty much where it ends though. That said, I thought there were lots of interesting tidbits in this piece about her re-packaged greatest hits project.
You learn about her Starbucks contract and how that deal fell apart. Then there's the whole dynamic of her relationship with her son which is kind of fascinating. You can tell he adores her on the one hand but that they have this kind of weird working relationship too. There's the lingering enmity with her famous ex-husband. There's hope that this project is going to be commercially successful despite what seems like a lot of mixed feelings over doing it in the first place. After reading this story I could easily see myself buying into a book or a movie based on Carly, JT and the kids. There's more material there than I would have thought.
http://www.boston.com/ae/music/articles/2009/10/25/carly_simon_revisits_her_classics_on_a_new_album/
2) Headline: Islam's Darwin Problem
Author: Drake Bennett
Description: In the Muslim world, creationism is on the rise
Comments: See, here's why I enjoy the randomness of the Sunday Globe. We go from a story about Carly Simon to a feature about the rise of creationism in the Muslim world. I love it. And I highly, highly recommend this piece if you can find the time. It's fantastic. I think you might be surprised how many people (even in the US) do not support the theory of evolution. Some of the statistics that Bennett provides are pretty eye-opening. The stuff in here about Adnan Oktar (Turkish author and vehement creationism-defender) is worth the price of admission alone too. No scientific or religious training? No problem! Blame Darwinism on Freemasons! On the flip side, surprising support for evolutionary theory from a Middle Eastern country you might not expect. Which one? You have to read it yourself...
http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=7015487156350410449&postID=1016265885188321359
3) Headline: Welcome To The Dollhouse
Author: Francie Latour
Description: The line the new black Barbies won't cross
Comments: Well-written piece about the problem with black Barbie dolls. Plenty of valuable historical context. I learned about "Colored Francie" from the 60's and Oreo Fun Barbie from the 90's. The biggest impression that the story made on me though was in regards to the crazy lengths that many black woman go to get straight hair. I don't think I had any concept of the severity of the salon experience described by Latour, what with the burning chemicals and so forth. Yikes.
http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2009/10/25/the_line_the_new_black_barbies_wont_cross/?page=1
4) Headline: For Walker, Financial Fouls Mount
Author: Shira Springer
Description: Former Celtics star pursued by creditors as free-spending lifestyle drains his wealth
Comments: Poor Antoine. Nothing in this story really surprised me. "Young person is given boatloads of money and doesn't handle it well," is a tale we've all heard by now. But the details are still pretty depressing. And, granted, it's hard to feel sorry for someone that was paid over $100 million to play basketball. But when you balance the craziness of playing $15,000 hands of blackjack with Michael Jordan and $1,800 dinners against taking care of about 75 people (especially his mother) to the point where you're giving five people authorization to just use your credit cards as they see fit, you do have to have a touch of remorse for the guy.
http://www.boston.com/sports/basketball/celtics/articles/2009/10/25/former_celtics_star_antoine_walker_pursued_by_creditors_as_wealth_vanishes/?page=3
5) Headline: What You Hear Is Not A Chorus
Author: Matthew Guerrieri
Description: The truly original thing about "Rapper's Delight"
Comments: Now here's an easy sell. You give me an article about Wonder Mike, Big Bank Hank and Master Gee's signature hit and I'm in. This story, in particular, is about the uniqueness of a song with no chorus. Guerrieri describes the phenomenon in Rapper's Delight thusly, "Like the balladic verses of the blues, or the improvisatory excursions of long-form jazz, the song is less interested in how loud it can rev its engine than in how long it can keep it running." Well said, sir. Well said. I like a good chorus as much as the next guy but who says that every song needs one? Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go fire up some Sugarhill and ease into the afternoon. Happy reading kiddos.
http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2009/10/25/the_truly_original_thing_about_rappers_delight/?page=2
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Music Finds You
Thursday, October 08, 2009
CB Buckner Review

Genre Review - Country
What the hell did Country music ever do to deserve this? I am serious, why do people have an unrelenting hate for Country music? It pisses me off to no end and I want to address 3 points:
1) Country music is as old a form of American music that we got. Developed by blending several styles of music together in South Eastern U.S. at the turn of the last century, it extends into so many different genres of music. It was born from the blues that had been a major part of the same region for quite some time – and it has so much of that in it.
2) The issue is that everyone associates Country music with people like Garth Brooks, John Denver and Kenny Chesney. That is a subset of the genre – closer to “Country Western”, than say some of the more blue-grass banjo fronted Country bands or say – a bluesy Country band… or say, I don’t know – ELVIS F’N PRESLEY. I mean even Ray Charles was considered country soul in the early 60’s. And you know what? Country music led a new genre of music called Country rock in the 1960’s. And some of the early bands playing in this space? The Grateful Dead, Neil Young, The Allman Brothers, The Marshall Tucker Band, The Eagles, and so many more. Country influenced the best bands of all time – throw on Honky Tonk Woman by the stones… seriously do it now Honky Tonk Woman. Great song, rooted in Country. Wilco, Son Volt, Old 97’s and a bunch of other bands spun off with Alternative Country in the early-mid 90’s. The problem is, people think Country Pop and Country Western is the beginning and end of the genre and it pisses me off to no end. And what happens is great musicians are overlooked. Go download “Jackson Station” by The Band of Heathens and tell me that is not a great f’n song.
3) I swear to god I am going to punch the next person that says “I like all music except Country” in the dick. Right in the pecker. Because it is a stupid ass thing to say, even if you really hate all Country music (which you obviously haven’t listened to it all) – you don’t like EVERY other kind of music. When was the last time you dug deep into the Big Band our Latin House genres? Big on Gothic Rock? How about Progressive Trance? Do you have any idea how many genera’s of music there are? I’ll tell you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_popular_music_genres. So please, if you don’t want a punch to your weiner, please don’t say that idiotic sentence ever again. It makes you look stupid.
Some of my favorite bands in the world are Country. Country is a major section of music with a bunch of genres within it. Stop giving it a bad name.
Grade
Country: A
People who say “I like everything buy Country”: F
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Traffic Boners
Movie Review - King's Ransom
I remember where I was the day my idol was traded from the most entertaining NHL team of all-time to the Los Angeles Kings. I was 13 years old and my parents were picking me up from SVS Hockey Camp in Rhode Island. It was hot and muggy and I was devastated.When you're 13 years old there's no way to process how arguably the greatest hockey player in the world can be traded. I mean, why would you do that if you were running a team? You've just won 4 Stanley Cups. He's in the prime of his career. He's Wayne-flipping-Gretzky! You can't trade Wayne Gretzky!
So I was stunned. And confused. I bought a t-shirt of Wayne in that silver and black Kings uniform and wore it with the same pride I had in my authentic blue Oilers jersey with 99 on the back in orange. But it never felt right to me. When the Kings knocked the Oilers out of the '89 playoffs it felt weird. When the Oilers returned the favor the next year and won the Cup, without Wayne, it felt even weirder. And when he broke Gordie Howe's all-time scoring record in the middle of all that, in Edmonton as a King, that may have been the weirdest of all. I could never fully resolve myself to the reality of that trade. Maybe I never will.
Enter King's Ransom...Peter Berg's documentary, the first in ESPN's 30 for 30 series, on that fateful day in 1988 when The Great One was dealt to LA. I think I had last night circled on my calendar from the minute I knew when it was airing. The Red Sox could've been playing Game One of the ALDS last night and I might have skipped three innings just to watch it. That's how excited I was for this project. Excitement justified? Sadly, not quite. Here are my impressions...
-I love Peter Berg for tackling the subject. And I love that you can kind of tell he's just in awe of Wayne throughout the film. I don't love the job that he did with Wayne's interview on the golf course though. I feel like he let him off the hook way too easy in spots.
For example, they talk about how Peter Pocklington and Glen Sather both gave Wayne the option to call off the trade right before the press conference. That's fascinating and something I never knew. Wayne's comments about it are really interesting too. He admits that maybe he should've taken a few days to think about it before saying, essentially, that they're already too far down the path and the deal makes sense so let's go ahead and do it.
I think there's genuine regret in Gretzky over the trade. He talks about leaving a championship-caliber team for one of the worst teams in the league. He estimates they might have won another 4 Cups if he stayed. I think there's a part of him that's completely haunted by the whole thing. But Berg didn't really press him or fully explore that angle. He takes Wayne's ultimate answer of "no regrets" at face value. I'm not sure Jeremy Schapp or Bob Costas buys that. I certainly didn't.
-On a more positive note, kudos to Berg for slipping in two quick clips of my favorite Gretzky goal, his shorthanded OT winner in Game 2 of the '88 Smythe Finals against Calgary. (Shown between :11 and :16 in this video...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3uVSFmSLTY&feature=PlayList&p=A08B30F755CB14FA&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=26) In general, I thought the use of old highlights was choppy and somewhat disorienting. I always appreciate seeing that goal though.
-I definitely did not need all kinds of footage of Wayne standing in an empty Great Western Forum. Way, way overused. The opening scene of him driving up and getting out of the car was cool but everything after that could have been cut.
-Speaking of things that could have, nay SHOULD have, been cut, the worst part of the entire documentary in my opinion were the ridiculous shots that were thrown in of someone skating around in the dark in Oilers and Kings uniforms that was clearly NOT Wayne Gretzky. Why in the world would anyone think that's a good idea? Awful. Just awful.
-That made it into the film for some reason. The biggest lost opportunity, however, was something that wasn't in the movie. And that's any kind of reaction or interviews from Wayne's former teammates in Edmonton. That's a gigantic ommission. How can you not get Kevin Lowe or Paul Coffey or anyone from those teams on the record with their thoughts on the trade? Gretzky famously says, "I promised Mess I wouldn't do this," while crying at the press conference. How do you not cut to Messier after you show that clip to describe his emotions at that moment?
-Lacking Wayne's famous Oilers teammates, at least we get Glen Sather. I was never a huge fan of Slats (especially when he was running the Rangers) but I have to give credit where credit is due. He's great throughout. I love how Pocklington describes him as "pretty pissed off" (I think that's the quote) when he first told him about the Gretzky trade and Sather says in response, "I was more than pissed." You can tell he's still seething over the whole deal. And I loved the part about how he wouldn't have traded Wayne for an entire organization if it were up to him.
-I was very surprised to learn that Wayne did most of the planning for his wedding with Janet. Really Wayne? Wouldn't have guessed that.
-Speaking of Janet...best line of the movie was easily, "...hey Janet! I saw Police Academy 5!" I'm sure she's delighted to have that on her resume.
-I dont know why but I love Walter Gretzky. It looks like he lives in the same house he's lived in for the last 50 years. Canadian flag flying in the front yard. Picking dandelions. Just as soft-spoken as you please. Love it.
-One last criticism...I would've liked much more discussion on the aftermath of the trade. They gloss over it with text that mentions Wayne never winning a Cup in LA, Edmonton winning in '90, Pocklington selling the team, warm-weather expansion and Bruce McNall going to jail. I wish they spent more time on that stuff. Let's get definitive opinions, not just from Wayne and Pocklington, about whether the trade was a success. Let's debate whether that expansion was a good thing for the league or not. I wish they gave more time to those types of questions.
Overall Grade: C (Wish I could go higher but I just can't.)
Monday, October 05, 2009
Facebook Status Reviews
Grade F
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Language Review - Irresistibly Irish
Substitute “”me” with “my” and you will sound like you’re right off the boat from Ireland. I literally spent 2 hours last night cracking my shit up.
Where’s my car – “Where’s me car”
Can someone tie my shoes – “can someone tie me shoes”
Or maybe - I think I have lost me wallet, me keys, me jacket and me dignity… if anyone finds me things, call me cell – I should be in me pajamas at me house with me lady
It doesn't get old
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Lyrics Analysis (Funky Cold Medina)
All right, kids. Let's jump back into the lyrics analysis game
with a song that's shockingly 20 years old now. My comments in
red...
Funky Cold Medina - Tone Loc
Alright, dig it (As you wish, sir)
[ VERSE 1 ]
Cold coolin' at a bar, and I'm looking for some action
(Is there a better way to describe hanging out than cold
coolin'? I say no.)
But like Mike Jagger said, I can't get no satisfaction
The girls are all around, but none of them wanna get with me
My threads are fresh and I'm lookin def, yo, what's up with
L-o-c?
(Questioning yourself in the third person is kind of awesome.)
The girls is all jockin' at the other end of the bar
(Or, as they say in Spain..."Las muchachas son todo el jockin'
en el otro extremo de la barra. It seems "jockin'" is the same
in any language.)
Havin' drinks with some no-name chump, when they know that I'm
the star
(The nerve)
So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
(I like that. Tone's perplexed but he's not in any great hurry.
Just calmly strolls across the cantina.)
I asked the guy, Why you so fly? he said, Funky Cold Medina
(I love that the guy answered so confidently and with no
hesitation. Like some stranger coming up to you in a bar and
asking "why you so fly?" is totally normal and expected. I'd
like to ask 100 random people "why you so fly?" to see if even
one of them wasn't completely confused.)
Funky Cold Medina
[ VERSE 2 ]
This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
Put a little Medina in your glass, and the girls'll come real
quick
(In your own glass? Not in their glasses?)
It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
(It absolutely isn't. This is like saying a Mercedes is better
than a car. Something can be the best in its class. It can't
be better than something it is though. Ketchup can't be better
than any tomato-based condiment.)
A couple of sips of this love potion, and she'll be on your lap
(That's powerful stuff. A couple sips?)
So I gave some to my dog when he began to beg
(Wait, what? Why? Why in the world did you do that? You gave
some to your dog? Your dog!?!?)
Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild
thing on my leg
(I'm sorry but you deserve that Tone. What were you hoping
would happen when you gave your dog Funky Cold Medina? Again
...it's your dog!)
He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much much meaner
(I bet the Dog Whisperer secretly uses Medina.)
But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold
Medina
(All right, I'm confused. Do you give the Medina to someone and
it makes them horny? Or do you drink it yourself and suddenly
you become irresistible? I mean, the guy at the bar had it in
his glass. And your dog is getting all kinds of hot poodle ass
from drinking it. So that implies you drink it yourself. But
then, you're giving it out to everyone in the rest of the song.
And it only stands to reason that the object of your affection
should be the one drinking it. Hmmmm. Mysterious stuff, this
Medina.)
You know what I'm sayin?
(Not really)
I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin' down my door
I got Spuds McKenzie
Alex from Stroh's
(Two celebrity dogs and they both live in your neighborhood?
What are the odds? Love how dated those references are now too.)
They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal
(Oh, we're pals now? Nice.)
[ VERSE 3 ]
I went up to this girl, she said, Hi, my name is Sheena
(Speaking of odds...what are the odds her name would rhyme with
Medina? Would've been much harder to write this lyric if her
name was Barbara. Or Ruth.)
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina
(Well, that's an improvement over giving it to your dog. Lucky
lady.)
She said, I'd like a drink, I said, Ehm - ok, I'll go get it
(As a rule, I think it's a good idea to let strangers pick your
drink for you.)
Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she
was with it
(Dope)
So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a
man
(Bahahaha. Well then. That, indeed, is a big old mess.)
So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer
wiener
(It's kinda not his fault though...just for the record.)
You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold
Medina
(...says a man who earlier in the song gave some of this stuff
to a dog.)
You know, ain't no plans with a man
This is the 80's, and I'm down with the ladies
(Something about the 70's you want to tell us about, Tone?)
Ya know?
(Kinda....I guess)
Break it down
[ VERSE 4 ]
Back in the saddle, lookin for a little affection
I took a shot as a contestant on The Love Connection
(Does anyone have that episode? I'll pay good money for it.)
The audience voted, and you know they picked a winner
I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner
(That is so, so romantic. I'm swooning.)
She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin soon what I'll be gettin'
(Wait, a few FCM's? You only need sips of that stuff, pal.)
Instead she started talkin' 'bout plans for our weddin'
(See, that's what happens.)
I said, Wait, slow down, love, not so fast says, I'll be seein'
ya
That's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold
Medina
(Apparently not)
Ya know what I'm sayin
That Medina's a monster, y'all
(Words to live by. And we're out...)
Candy Land - Website Reviews
Skittles has completely revamped their website and decided to, in a way, turn it over to the fans.
When you go to www.skittles.com, you are sent through to their facebook page, which has a Skittles branded box in the top left corner that allows you to select different options. Each options bring you to different social sites. Some options to click in the box are:
"Chatter" - brings you to the Twitter Search page looking at what people are saying about Skittles; the good, bad, ugly. Some examples:

Really cool, and of course they could be getting lit up - but they aren't. Because Skittles are the color of the f'n rainbow, taste damn good, and make people inherently happy. A very calculated risk if I ever saw one. We skip the PR bullshit and hear what real life human beings have to say.
"Friends" - brings you right to their facebook page with almost 3.5 million fans. Running promotions, sharing content, active wall, etc. Some brands complain their facebook page doesn't get any traffic. Well chances are your product just isn't relevant and you are not putting any effort into driving folks there.
"Media" - Has all their commercials hosted on their youtube page. No need to skip over these, its up to you to watch them. And their not replacing their television spend, just adding to it.
Now I think this is a great example of how a brand can think outside the box - understanding the depth of the media shift and having a go at something that will drive some buzz.
Meanwhile Hershey's is running a stupid ass and incredibly tired promotion giving away NCAA tickets with literally the lamest copy of the year

"I'm A Big Fan" - really? Who the hell on gods green earth says that repulsive shit? And why do companies still get a huge boner out of any promotion that has user-generated content? Meanwhile they haven't a clue what the hell it means. Listen, we don't care that some schmuck Ohio State fan thinks he or she is "A Big Fan"... and of course its only the Big Ten schools that think this shit matters. Nearly every conference has zero video entries, a couple have 2 or 3, but the Big Ten has 14. And then all the videos are predictably awful, lacking any creativity - how does no one tie in a "hershey squirt" after a big interception or something to prove they are a "Big Fan"... not only does the website and promotion suck, Hershey fans and Big Ten fans suck as well.
So where do I net out... I am going to buy a big ass pack of skittles, cause they taste good and they proved not be stupid, lazy, sheep. Then I am going to video tape a Skittle Squirt and post it on their youtube page.
Grade:
Skittles: A
Hershey: F
Big Ten Fans: D-
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Old S.I. Review (April 27, 1987)
Man, it's been a long time since I did an old S.I. review. Too long in fact. As soon as I came across the site of a triumphant Rob Deer in a box of old magazines this past weekend though, I knew what I had to do. Let's jump right in shall we...Bobby V. Packing Wood
Strong start to this issue with a picture of Bobby Valentine carrying about 30 Rangers bats in the dugout in an attempt to shake them out of a hitting slump next to the table of contents. Probably didn't work though since the '87 Rangers finished in a last place tie in the old AL West.
1987 Toshiba Laptop Specs
Gotta love this copy from an ad for Toshiba's new laptop computer...
The Toshiba is the most powerful laptop you can buy. With a standard 640KB memory that's expandable to 2.6 MB. And a spectacular, high-resolution gas-plasma display that let's you work for hours without getting quint lines. It is an incredible example of Toshiba's technologies in miniaturization.
Zamboni Fan, eh?
Check out this fantastic letter from Steve Aureli of Knoxville, Tenn...
Thanks for Leigh Montville's fascinating article on the Zamboni (You're an Old Smoothie, March 30). I've been a Zamboni fan for years. In fact, I used to live in Waterbury, Conn., and when the Whalers were floundering not too long ago, we would go to the Hartford Civic Center and pay good money to see the Zamboni perform. Something resembling hockey was played during the long intermissions."
Things That Sounded Better At The Time
One other thing from the Letters page. Tim and Janet Matthews, a couple from Toronto, sent in a note taking writer E.M. Swift to task for his contention that Canadians, by and large, have low expectations for their athletes in international competitions. First athlete they cite to defend Canada's athletic prowess? Ben Johnson.
Remembering the Fast Start of the '87 Brew Crew
Moving on the meat of the issue, we begin with the feature story about the Milwaukee Brewers starting the season with an 13-game winning streak and a no-hitter from "embraceable lefty" Juan Nieves. Some highlights from that piece...
-Riding an 11-0 start, the Brewers drew 29,357 on Easter Sunday. I don't know what the capacity was at County Stadium but that seems like a low turnout for an 11-0 team.
-Juan Nieves channeling John Kreese..."People probably think this is a joke," Nieves said, "but it's not. It's a taste of what's to come the rest of the way. We're back. No mercy." It's worth noting at this point that Milwaukee finished 3rd in the AL East in '87.
-Did you know Juan captained the baseball, basketball and cross-country teams at Avon Old Farms? That's a fun piece of trivia. I have to admit, I didn't have Juan pegged as an Avon man.
-Best part of the article? I nominate this...
"Shortly before Opening Day, The Milwaukee Journal conducted a telephone survey of Wisconsin residents and found that 74% of them had no idea who the Brewers manager was?"
OK, first of all, a telephone survey to see how many people know the manager? That's awesome. I will pay money for copies of those phone calls. Even better that 74% didn't know though. 74%! That's tremendous.
The 1987 Phoenix Suns...More Sordid than you Remember
I think it's safe to say that the '87 Suns probably benefited from a comparative lack of media scrutiny. Consider the following...
-At the time, the '87 Suns were involved in "the largest single drug bust in the history of professional sports." No fewer than 11 players, past and present, were implicated by Phoenix law enforcement officials, including Walter Berry (a 6-time all-star and the leading scorer in Suns history).
-Berry was not only implicated but largely believed to have snitched on his teammates in the process. Good times.
-Aside from the drug bust, Phoenix police were also looking into allegations that a Suns-Bucks game from February of '87 may have been fixed.
Can you imagine the 24-hour indignation we'd be hearing from talking heads if all that was going on these days? Although....one thing would be the same and that's David Stern's reaction. Stern's quoted in the article and sounds exactly the same back then as he does now. "We've been assured there's nothing to the allegations but we're looking into it..."
The LaFontaine Game
Ahh, the old 4-OT Game 7 Isles-Caps thriller that ended on Easter Sunday. I remember it well. Hadley slept over that night and we watched into the wee hours. I can close my eyes and see Bob Mason standing dazed in the Wasington net after LaFontaine's turn-around slapper. Game over. Series over. Isles advance.
What I didn't remember until reading the article though is that Washington had a 3-1 lead in that series and lost 3rd period leads in Games 6 and 7. Now, that's a tough way to lose a series.
The Nigerian Nightmare
Skipping past articles on the Boston Marathon, Kentucky Derby prep races & a piece about Greg Louganis getting beat a few times at some indoor diving competition, we get a pre-NFL draft scouting report on Christian Okoye. Some highlights...
-Christian's favorite food was a pungent Nigerian stew called fufu.
-The stories of his athleticism and physique are pretty crazy. At the time, he was the African record-holder in the discus and a 17-time All-America in a variety of track & field events. 6'3", 255 lbs with a 34" waist. Ran a 4.45, 40. 35" vertical. Could bench 405 lbs. and could squat 725 lbs.
-Scouting reports were mixed because of his inexperience, as you would expect. Last first-round, early-second round seemed to be the consensus (and that's where he went incidentally...going to the Chiefs early in the 2nd round). Best part of the evaluations is this quote from Reed Johnson (head of player personnel for the Broncos)...
"Think of the acceleration from Asuza Pacific to playing against the Raiders! What a shock."
Ummmm...the Raiders then, or the Raiders now? Because I think Asuza Pacific could've given last year's Raiders all they could handle.
-My other favorite quote comes from Christian himself, after being handed a football for the first time in his life in college. Christian's reaction? "Very interesting....but very impractical."
Dr. Z on the '87 NFL Draft
Dr. Z goes 7 for 28 in predicting the first round of the NFL draft. Nobody ever does much better than that in hindsight. 7 for 28 is actually higher than I would've guessed. His best call, to me, is listing Rich Gannon in his top 5 underrated players section. Says if he went to USC instead of Delaware he'd be a first rounder. Good call on someone that ended up going in the 4th round (to the Pats by the way. We'll see you in at the Snow Bowl game in 15 years, Rich).
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Chasing Patron
1) No, that is not that cool
2) My top can hold the f'n tequila inside the bottle so it doesn't spill- because that is the god damn purpose of my top. You know what is more important... that I come off easily.
And honestly, why the hell did they cast Imperioli here - was he really the best option. What the hell does he bring to the brand? Tough Italian Guy that knows his tequila? Not for me - when I see him, I think of a raging heroin addict that cries a lot and can't handle his shit.
...Meanwhile, look at Patron - just absolutely understanding what a guy drinking patron wants:
Great commercial, glides over the empty bottle (WITH NO TOP ON) as it scans a bra and jeans and other clothes... whose clothes you ask? A smoking hot chicks clothes that's who. Then they show the tequila on the rocks in a clear glass with a lime on the rim... bottle half empty and no top.
And we see why one feels the need to attack the other.
Grade:
1800: C-
Patron: A-
Target - Pearl Jam Commercial
Ok, so I love Pearl Jam. Or maybe I loved Pearl Jam... all I know is that at one point in my life - between Ten and Vitalogy and VS. - Pearl Jam was cool as shit. I wore flannel jackets in the midst of Summer because of Eddie Vedder did, I grew out my hair, I cut my jeans into jorts... I literally followed the man blindly. Then something happened... I am not sure if it was them, or if it was me... likely a bit of both, but the relationship hit the proverbial fork in the road. Outside of listening to their old stuff from time to time and my obsession with cut jean shorts - it has all but faded.
The point is - if Eddie Vedder told me to go shop at Target in 1994... I would have not thought twice. I would have jumped on my huffy, silver chromes and all, and b-lined it to nearest Target. But you know what, he never would have... because that Eddie Vedder, THAT Pearl Jam... they found their clothes at Salvation Army or Caldor or some other awesomely shitty store that may or may not sell pretzels that tasted great (Bradlees)
Furthermore, I am not sure how much they paid Cameron Crowe to direct this spot - but I might just call Target's VP Media and let them know that his agency convinced him to overspend for a big name director when my 14 year old cousin could have caught the same footage with better quality on his friggin Flip Video.
And then we have the group of advertising brain child's that must have creamed their pants with the "target logo" stamp idea to kick off the commercial. Not sure why that pissed me off so much, but it did.
So where am I at the end of the commercial? I don't want to go to that lousy themed concert... I don't want to buy their new album... I definitely don't want to go to Target for any reason... The association with Cameron Crowe didn't do shit for me - it just shows a lack of creativity and a fat wallet.
I guess the one thing I might do is go to iTunes. But that is because I always go to iTunes and just quickly hearing iTunes at the end of this stupid commercial reminded me that the new Avett Brothers album came out today. That and I might also throw on my old flannel jacket.
Grade:
Target, Pearl Jam, Cameron Crowe, Hipsters: D
Apple/iTunes: B
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Poppin' Ain't So Easy Neither
First thing I notice is that the guy is pressing like two dozen buttons. Beep...beep....beep beep beep. Really dude? That many buttons? You can't put a minute up there? Or how about....oh, I don't know....maybe hitting the button that says "Popcorn?" No? Keep pressing buttons? Cool, cool.
Eventually this hooligan gets the microwave on. I go back to eating my lunch. Couple minutes go by. Guy goes to retrieve his Orville Reddenbacher and opens it on the counter...out comes the smoke monster from Lost. The popcorn is somehow both burnt and mostly unpopped. And he's irate.
"Oh my god. This always happens. I can't figure out what the hell you need to do!"
Ummm...you can't figure out how to microwave popcorn? This is a common occurrence? Wow. I am now officially terrified for the future of this company.
Monday, June 23, 2008
It's Showtime

Its official, in my opinion, Showtime is the new HBO. It has superseded the Home Box Office as the place where my favorite, must-see televisions shows reside. The tide started turning last year when in addition to Weeds, I started watching Californication (Duchovny is perfectly casted as Hank Moody, the sly-talking, self-destructive, shoot-from-the-hip, struggling novelist that the show is centered around). Then just recently, after several trusted sources vehemently recommended that I watch the show Dexter, I did. And that was the end of my internal HBO vs. Showtime debate.
While HBO has been hit (Flight) or miss (John from Cincinnati) lately, Showtime has been quietly churning out some of the best shows on TV. I urge everyone out there to watch the three shows listed above and please let me know if I should be watching one of their other shows.
Showtime Site
"I love women. I have all their albums." Hank Moody, Californication
Sunday, June 22, 2008
I Was Born To Lick Your Face

While flipping around last night, I noticed TV Land was screening Caddyshack...albeit with one whopper of a description:
Movie, Comedy (1980) Chevy, Rodney. Oddballs and gophers undermine a
country-club caddy out to win a college scholarship.
Is it possible to create a more insane, misleading and boring description of one of the all-time great comedies?! Seriously? Who undermined Danny Noonan? Was the college scholarship even that relevant of a plotline? It's not even close to the most important golf match of the movie. Also, Ted Knight doesn't get top billing with Rodney? Come on...
Thursday, June 19, 2008
The Tiger Woods Experience

Soon after we watched Tiger battle through 91 holes of inspiring golf, rolling in back-to-back birdies to raise his 3rd U.S. Open, we found out that he did it all with a stress fracture and that his season has come to an end. This news, undoubtedly, led to an industry wide “What the f**k are we going to do now” moment. TV Executives, Event Title Sponsors, FedEx, the PGA, Nike, Gatorade, etc. are all scrambling and rightfully so… they have all committed a lot of time, energy and money into Tiger’s game (aka the PGA Tour).
And it really is Tiger’s game at this point, isn’t it? His direct sponsors invested over $105 million into him this year alone. When he is in the field everything spikes: TV ratings, attendance, news coverage, it all goes up. I was trying to think of a parallel to the Tiger phenomena and it really doesn’t exist in popular sport. Typically, the sum is greater, and the sport (and even a team) can withstand injury to a great player… but not golf, not this day and age, not this player. I guess it is most similar to music and specifically bands difficulties overcoming the loss of their centerpiece. Sure, they can keep the band name, keep playing the same songs and they will still get the real diehards to come out and watch… but without Freddy, Queen is not Queen… without Slash, GnR concerts just don’t feel right... and there is no escaping it. The real fans may come, but they walk away whispering to each other that something was off. That while it was great to hear the songs, the environment never solicited the excitement and vibe that they have become accustomed too.
In a way, Tiger IS the frontman in the world’s biggest rock band. When he is playing, everyone else's shots seem more important, their game seems to be inspired and while the crowd loves Tiger… they also look as if they love the rest of the band more because he is playing. He has all the characteristics of a band leader too… he is the most confident and explosive of the bunch. It is not just the hip thrusting double fist pumps either… Tiger stands over a putt not wanting to make it, but with the feeling that he HAS to. Sometimes I feel like the rest of the field just doesn’t want to mess up. If Tiger is Jimi, they are the Experience and while individually they are fantastic musicians… it doesn’t seem right without Jimi up front wailing away on his manipulated Fender Strat. The Experience just wants to make sure to hit all the notes, to get to the end of the song. Jimi wants to stick some acid under his bandana and go on a 10 minute psychedelic solo that culminates with him brushing his teeth with his guitar. That’s Tiger. Tiger doesn’t want to just make the putt, he wants to brush his f’n teeth with it and that is why it’s his band.
I will keep watching, diehards always do, but it won’t feel the same… how could it.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Blogging Is Hard

Well, this blog has had quite a nap over the past year. After a strong surge of posts in late 2006, early 2007... we completely flat-lined and after a last ditch attempt to turn this place into something it wasn't, something easier, we died. What we tried to make the blog was not a bad thing, but it drifted away from our core values and what this place initially was meant to be; a stomping ground for our commentary on music, sports, news, movies, and any other form of culture that peaked the interest of 10CFP on a given day.
After recently looking back on it all, it became clear that we sort of missed it. Putting the pen to the pad on a daily basis not only gave us a warped sense of accomplishment, it was actually relaxing to a certain degree. And thankfully, unlike Dan Ackroyd's comedic timing, Freeze Pops are never lost for good. They may melt and turn into that liquid sugar that I was banned from as a kid, but they can always be put back into the freezer and in short order, mold into their proper form.
But the fact remains, blogging is hard. It is hard because everyone does it, because we have other jobs, because we have to consume media, TV, literature, sports, etc. to write about, because for 95% of us there is no tangible payoff. It is hard because we need more sleep now and because Celtics games end at sunrise. It is hard because we have DVR and Netflix to watch and Podcasts and Hypemachine to listen to. It is hard because everyone keeps sending me those damn Facebook applications. It is hard for a hundred reasons, but most of all it is hard because we want it to be good. We don’t want to post mindless, meaningless, trivial, bland, redistributed crap. We want the 4 or 5 people reading this thing to like it and to keep liking it.
But we missed it. So we have been rummaging around our cabinets, picking up all the unfrozen freeze pops, drinking a few grape ones, and getting them back to the way they are supposed to be.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
White Collar Boy- Belle and Sebastian
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Tom Waits - Waltzing Matilda
This gem is from '77 and the quality is great.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Otis, My Man
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Springsteen - Candy's Room
I mean, let's say, for the sake of argument, this was the September 19th show from '78. Here's your setlist:
1) Badlands
2) Streets Of Fire
3) Spirit In The Night
4) Darkness On The Edge Of Town
5) Independence Day
6) The Promised Land
7) Prove It All Night
8) Racing In The Street
9) Thunder Road
10) Meeting Across The River
11) Jungleland
12) Kitty's Back
13) Fire
14) Candy's room
15) Because The Night
16) Point Blank
17) Not Fade away
18) She's The One
19) Backstreets
20) Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)
21) 4th Of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)
22) Born To Run
23) 10th avenue Freeze-Out
24) Detroit Medley
25) Raise Your Hand
Not too shabby.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Ain't No Sunshine
Couple things of note here:
1) Bill's sweating up a storm.
2) Bill's wearing a peach colored turtleneck. Are 1 and 2 related? You make the call.
3) Bill's intro is fantastic. You don't hear terms like "the old jive broad" too much anymore.
4) The drummer. Wow. Where to begin on that cat? I want to party with that guy.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Wilco
At Least That's What You Said
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Lip Gloss by Lil Mama
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Chillin' With Jim Rice

Thursday, May 10, 2007
Still Fighting It
Hadley and I took in the Boston Pops/Ben Folds show last night. And, while our ridiculously good seats from the 4th row didn't give us the greatest vantage point of the brawl in the 2nd balcony...
...we did have a sick view of Ben rocking the piano. Which was amazing. Although, even when he wasn't working the Steinway, it was still pretty damn impressive...
Monday, April 16, 2007
He Has Me In Stitches
Happy Flooding! How I love the NHL playoffs without the Bruins in it...it allows me to flip between the Sabres-Isles and The Last Waltz with little consequence.
Anyway, here's some Bruins footage for you...or as YouTuber 'xclaimdotcom' calls it:
"Boston Bruins No.30 Gerry Cheevers "Cheesie"...the best NHL goalie of all time"
Well, that's a stretch. Regardless, check out the goalie style from the 70s....renegade is the word that comes to mind.
Classic
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Mr. Intellivision
But one thing you probably don't remember about George is his turn as "Mr. Intellivision" back in the early-80's. Hell, I was an Intellivision junkie back then and even I can't remember him doing ads for it. But he did. Many of them. And, thanks to Youtube, we can watch beauties like this...
Wow. That's all I can say about that. Just a tour de force. A is clearly better than B. Mr. Intellivision is right about that. Neither one of them should be all that proud of themselves though. I mean, what the hell is that sound when the runner gets cut down at home on Intellivision? I think it's the same sound they used in "Frog Bog" when you caught a fly. Good God. Atari baseball? Holy crap. Kids used to play that? 4 bases on a green screen? Three bizarre fielders moving in tandem? What the f***? That is too funny.
On a side note, if you never had the priviledge to play Frog Bog, you have no idea what you're missing...
Monday, April 09, 2007
The Masters

Couple random thoughts on The Masters...
-I've heard multiple people talking about how they were glad Johnson won because "he can use the money more than Tiger." Couple things. First, can't you say that about essentially every athlete on the planet? I mean, who's in better financial shape than Tiger? But, also, can we all gain a little perspective here? Zach Johnson has made almost $9 million on Tour in his career. He's a multi-millionaire whether he won this week or missed the cut.
-Nice f-bomb from Stu Appleby after his tee shot on 8.
-I'll give Faldo about a B for his first year as the lead analyst for Masters coverage. Seemed like he was a little nervous at times but overall I thought he was fine. I think he'll only get better. Definitely gets credit for calling a non-Tiger win from the start, even if he did beat it into the ground.
-Shot of the day? I've got two. Goosen's iron out of the pine straw at 7 was ridiculous. And obviously, Johnson's chip on 18 was probably the most important shot. That took some serious stones after bogeying 17 and fanning his iron into the green. Honorable mention to Tiger for the 5-iron into 13 to set up eagle. Great shot but also very lucky to catch that ridge by less than a foot.
-Worst shot? Vijay rinsing his approach on 15 in the middle of the pond. One thing to hit it in the water there. That one wasn't even close though.
-I knew the "praise Jesus" stuff was coming from Zach Johnson when I saw someone in his gallery wearing a hat with a rhinestone cross. So that didn't surprise me. Nothing we haven't heard before. It would crack me up though (and this has also been discussed a million times so I'm not pretending to pawn this off as an original thought) if someone that lost went the other way and blamed Jesus. I think I'd piss my pants if I ever heard Tiger say, "you know what? There was nothing I could do today. Jesus made me play too much break on 16. Then he underclubbed me on 17 and forced me to hit it in the bunker. Thanks alot Jesus!"
Friday, April 06, 2007
Not Bad, Biff. Not Bad...
Gotta give credit where credit is due. That's actually pretty funny.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
It's Great To Be A Florida Gator...

Serving You Up
And now let's take it up a notch...
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Vintage Gus
Monday, March 19, 2007
Hey Now, Jeffs!

The game story is here...
http://www.ncaasports.com/basketball/mens/recaps/d3_0317_04/2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
Please Stop
Side Note: I highly urge all Red Sox Fans to purchase the 2007 Red Sox Annual. It is by far the most in depth and thought provoking pre-season literature out there. I would push all Baseball fans in general to visit Schillings website... it is that good.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Lyrics Analysis (Things That Make You Go Hmmm...)
Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...
C&C Music Factory Featuring Freedom Williams
I was at the crib, sittin' by the fireplace
Drinkin' cocoa on the bear skin rug (I'm gonna go ahead and nominate those first two lines for "Best opening lyrics in the history of music." I mean,come on now. How can you top that?)
The door bell rang. Who could it be?
Thought to myself then started to shrug
Got to the door. Ding Dong. Who is it? (You seem genuinely perplexed by this whole thing. Why don't you just go ahead and end the suspense. Open the damn door.)
My girl's best friend had payed me a visit. ("Payed?" Come on, Lyrics World...you're better than that.)
Sly as can be, tight dress and all (I'm not sure "sly" is the right word.Her scheme, which you're about to drop on us, is awfully transparent.)
She knew that I was faithful. I really didn't have the gall. (Great line)
I tried to chilll. She made the move. (Lyrics World put the extra "l" in"chilll" and I'm glad they did. It belongs.)
Now I know my girlfriend wouldn't approve.
I didn't realize my girl was settin' me up
Yo, my girl didn't trust me. No! (Man, you can just feel the pain in his voice. That was cold, girl.)Yeah, but she lost control I wouln't take the bait.
I said chill baby baby chill baby baby wait (First of all, best line in the song. Just...awesome. But, also...did you really say that? Think about it. Think about the scenario. Then think of him dropping that exact line. Makes it even better.)
My girl bust in, Caught us creating a boom ("Creating a boom" is a phraseyou really don't hear enough.)
She said "Girlfriend"?
Things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm, hmm, hmm
Things that make you go hmm
Here's how it started
Just an example of how another brother can trample
Ruin your life, sleep with your wife (Dude, maybe your buddy's not the problem. I think it's your wife.)
Watch your behind
There was a friend of mine named Jay
Would come over late at night and say hey (Jay wasn't very articulate.)
I watched the fight. I thought it was alright.
'Cause me and Jay were really really tight (Wow. Those two lines might be the worst lyrics in music history. Horrible. Just horrible.)
So damned close we had the same blood type. (Yeah, you and several million other people. Minimum. If you're O+ or A+ then over 30% ofthe US population alone has the same blood type. Even if you have AB-, the most rare blood type, there are still at least 3 million matches in the US.)
Months went by and my wife got big (Can't say it in a more genteel way than that.)
We were havin' a child and I got another gig
So I let Jay move into the crib and chill (I think the damage is already done at this point anyway.)
He had his own room and helped pay the bills (I would hope he had his own room. Nice of him to help with the bills.)
The time had come (for the baby down to the scene)
It looked like Jay and I couldn't believe (OK, a)are you really going to be able to tell the baby looks like Jay in the delivery room? And b)assuming you could, is it really something that would make you go hmmmm? Seems more like something that would make you go apeshit.)
Before my eyes in the delivery room.
The things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
The things that make you go hmm, hmm, hmm
The things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
The things that make you go hmm.
Robbie Rob - break it down! (Always a good suggestion...)
Give it to me Give it to me Give it to me Give it to me (x7)
Give it to me Give it to me
Seventeen and I was havin' a ball
Eleventh grade and "Joe" I knew it all ("Joe I knew it all?" I'm not sure Lyrics World has that quite right. 17 year olds definitely think they know it all though. I agree with that part.)
I fell in love for the very first time
With this girl she really blew my mind
Inner sense and whole lotta class (Got to mean "innocence" here, no? Inner sense? That's crazy talk.)
Style that could give you whiplash (Oustanding)
We said hello and my heart beat stopped
She was the world and I was on top
Time went by, She filled my universe (Wait, so she's the world and you're the universe? I'm getting confused.)
We made love, She said I was the first
My boy kept tellin' me. Yo, I don't know
I think your girl's been playing tic tac toe (I bet Jay was involved.)
I'll ask my girl I know she only loves me
Wasn't I the one who took your viginity? (I love pop songs that rhyme "me" with "virginity.")The look on her face read sorrow and gloom
She said "Yeah, Why do you guys always ask that?" (That doesn't seem to rhyme but that's OK.)
(Chorus)
Things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
It's the things that make you go hmm
(Repeat Chorus)
Hey ladies
Have you ever had a man
Go away for business, come back with a tan
Comes home late at night from work
You cooked him dinner now you feel like a jerk
Sayin' he didn't have time to eat
And he's not even hungry, he wants to be treat (What? "Wants to be treat?" Has to be another Lyrics World error.)
To the bedroom he said his head hurts
You're only makin' love in radical spurts (What's wrong with that?)
Mysterious calls and the phone goes click
You say to yourself "I'm gonna hit him with a brick" (In the words of Ron Burgandy, "Boy, that escalated quickly...")
Ain't no way he could be cheatin' on me
I wonder who bought him those BVD's (Really wish I had never read that line.)
Dressed to a T to hang with the fellas
Over the guys and I'm getting jealous
Comin' home late smellin' like perfume (fume)
(Repeat Chorus x7) (In retrospect, was that really necessary? Repeating the chorus 7 times? I say no.)
Things that make you go hmmm...
Friday, March 09, 2007
Shootout Goals
1) Pavel Datsyuk against Nashville. I've seen this one dozens of times and I still can't believe how bad he gets Vokoun to bite...
2) Marek Malik against Washington. This one's a bit over-rated in my book. It looks incredible if you've never played hockey but it's actually not that hard to do. There are plenty of guys who can pull it off. Trust me. But I still give him props for having the nads to pull it in one of the first shootouts in NHL history. Plus I love the reaction...
3) Henrik Zetterberg against Colorado. A lot of guys have scored on variations of this move but I like Zetterberg's best just for how smooth it is and how casual he is on the finish...
4) Ryan Getzlaf against Los Angeles. Harder than it looks in my book. Makes Garon completely buckle. Very nice...
5) Pierre-Marc Bouchard against Chicago. It's one thing to pull off the 360....thing I like about this one is that he's absolutely flying before he puts on the brakes and spins it in...
6) Sidney Crosby against Montreal. Just as cool as you like. The bottle-popper of all bottle-poppers...
7) Rob Shremp mix. Rob's kind of an underground internet legend for a handful of these kinds of goals. This is my favorite video of his...
8) Zach Parise against Toronto. A recent one. Love moves like this where a guy ends up with a wide open net....
Every Breath You Take
What is the worst cover of all-time cover?
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Old S.I. Review (April 12, 1993)
For this edition of Old S.I. Review we go with an April, 1993 issue celebrating North Carolina's NCAA title over Michigan in the Chris Webber timeout game. As always, let's begin at the beginning...Sign O' The Times
First indication we're looking at something from the early-90's? Within the first 5 pages we've already had appearances from Chris Sabo (with goggles), Vendela & Kathy Ireland. Strong start.
Letters
The first highlight from the Letters section is so good I'm just going to go ahead and transcribe the whole thing...
Air Ball?
Wait a minute! You finally give the Cleveland Cavaliers some overdue attention (Can The Cavs Finally Jam? March 15) and they come off as hayseeds from the set of Hee Haw. In Cleveland we love the Cavs as players and, more importantly, as upstanding citizens of our community. Lenny Wilkens will soon be the NBA's winningest coach, and Northeast Ohio knows him as the Knights of Columbus choice for Catholic of the Year. We respect Brad Daugherty for extolling the virtues of Cleveland and a college education on The Arsenio Hall Show. We love Mark Price for his all-out hustle, leadership and marksmenship on the court, and for the example he provides our young people at The Chapel in Akron. We relate to the blue-collar work ethic of Craig Ehlo and Hot Rod Williams's total unselfishness as our super sub, plus the toughness of all our role players - even Danny Ferry, with his continuing struggles.
You missed the hoop on this one. Air ball! The real story behind these Cavs is one of unspoiled and unselfish players who seem to like each other as people and as athletes. That cliche about family values really applies to this special team.
Lyle R. Pohly
Mogadore, Ohio
Wow. So many questions after reading that letter. Like, is that Brad Daugherty-Arsenio Hall footage up on youtube yet? What do you get for winning the Northeast Ohio Catholic of the Year award? And, finally, did Lyle really drop an "Air ball!" taunt in a letter to S.I.?
Moving on, two readers wrote in to comment on a recent article about Bulls GM Jerry Krause. One guy said he thanks Krause for every single Bulls victory and claims his accomplishments are underrated. The other guy calls him a mediocre GM and argues that the Bulls wouldn't be a .500 team without Jordan. You can decide which guy was more right in the final analysis.
Finally, Lawrence T. Stoogenke (great name) of Stamford, CT wrote in to question how Phoenix Suns fans could've left Walter Davis off of their 25th anniversary team. The starting 5, as voted by the fans, was Paul Westphal, Jeff Hornacek, Alvan Adams, Charles Barkley and Tom Chambers. I don't feel like doing a ton of research but that seems like a valid point. Davis is still the all-time leading scorer in Suns history I believe. I'd have ranked him and K.J. ahead of Hornacek.
Bring Back The Smythe
In the Scorecard section, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is praised for getting rid of the old division and conference names and replacing them with "more user-friendly" geographic ones. Screw that. I hated it then and I still hate it now. I'd much rather still have the Adams, Patrick, Norris and Smythe divisions. Not to mention the Wales and Campbell conferences. Who cares if the other way is more "user-friendly?"
Hatin' On Vinny
"Testaverde looks like a quarterback, acts like a quarterback, he even talks like a quarterback. But he's got the heart of a placekicker."
-quote from Tim McDonald in the Florida Times-Union after Vinny left Tampa to sign with Cleveland
Mike Tyson Report
What was Iron Mike up to in the spring of 1993, you ask? Well, he was in prison. And he was reportedly about to convert to Islam and change his name to Malik Abdul Aziz. Which, apparently, he did end up doing according to his Wiki page. Also, according to his Wiki page, Tyson has 7 children: Gena, Mikey, D'Amato, Rayna, Amir, Miguel and Exodus. Awesome.
UNC-Michigan Recap
The cover story by Alexander Wolff, on Carolina's victory over Michigan in the national title game, was focused more on Dean Smith's greatness than Chris Webber's timeout. The headlines and the pictures are on Webber. And there's an insert titled "I Cost Our Team the Game" all about it as well. But the main article was really focused much more on Smith and the Heels.
One thing that was kind of news to me is that Michigan led by 4 with about 4:00 left. I didn't remember that. I thought they were chasing most of the game. But the game was very back-and-forth according to the story. And Michigan actually had a double-digit lead at one point.
Couple good points, which Wolff mentions in the story, on the Webber/timeout stuff.....1)Webber almost definitely traveled before he even took the timeout. 2)UNC had a bunch of fouls to give so, even if he doesn't call that timeout, Michigan's going to have a hard time getting a shot away in the final 10 seconds.
Best part of the story? I nominate these lines...
There also abides in Smith much of the activist spirit that helped integrate lunch counters and campaigned for a nuclear freeze - the man who, like John Stuart Mill, believes that society is perfectible. The coach takes after the public man, and thus his teams are the product of constant refinement.
Gotta respect anyone that can work a John Stuart Mill reference into a game story.
Birth Of The Marlins
Some highlights from Tim Kurkjian's article on the first game in Florida Marlins history, a 6-3 win behind starter Charlie Hough over the Dodgers...
-First AB in Marlins history was Hough against Jose Offerman. Charlie fanned him on 3 pitches.
-From 1982-1989 only Jack Morris won more games in the majors than Hough which, having lived through the 80's, seems semi-impossible to me.
-As of the article, Hough was the only pitcher in major league history to throw at least 375 innings both as a starter and a reliever.
-Chuck Carr, described as "an accomplished breakdancer," claimed he would steal 100 bases and could play CF as well as Andy Van Slyke. So, basically, he was biting Willie Mays Hayes' routine 4 years after Majoe League came out. Didn't do as well as Willie either. Chuck stole 58 bases in '93 which was the only time in his career he cracked 32 steals.
-Pitcher Bob McClure wrote a book called Rotting: The Craze of the 90's. According to Bob the book's about "doing nothing, looking like you're doing nothing, but not feeling guilty about it." It's currently unavailable on Amazon....
http://www.amazon.com/Rotting-Craze-90s-Rott-McClure/dp/0533092094/ref=sr_1_1/103-7848951-2299816?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1173150023&sr=8-1
There is one customer review though. From 1998.
-SS Alex Arias used to rub a "red-haired voodoo Trool Doll" for good luck.
More Expansion '93 Tidbits
-Based on the records of previous expansion teams S.I. predicted that neither the Marlins nor the Rockies would have a winning season until at least 2000. Both beat that prediction with ease. The Rockies had 3 winning seasons in a row starting in 1995, including a wild card appearance. And, of course, the Marlins won the World Series in 1997.
-A blurb on Mile High Stadium, the Rockies' home for the 1993 season, speculates on whether the altitude would create a big home-field advantage. No mention of the impact it would have on offensive numbers as a whole though.
Sounded Good At The Time
In an article about the NFL free agency season being marked by numerous big-money deals for O-linemen, comes this this quote from Colts GM Jim Irsay...
"It's been a land rush to get the linemen. But we've got a franchise quarterback in Jeff George, and we're determined to protect our investment."
A year later George was shipped to Atlanta.
Muggsy
Moving on, the next story is a 3-page profile on Muggsy Bogues which, among other things, features a sublime picture of Muggsy trying to set a screen on Bill Laimbeer. I also enjoyed these two quotes from the story...
"People always say we'll probably never see another Larry Bird. But I've always felt we a better chance of seeing another Larry Bird than we do another Muggsy Bogues. Nobody has ever done what Muggsy is doing. And you really don't get the full effect of Muggsy until you go up and stand next to him."
-Hornets coach Allan Bristow
(You can debate the Bird-Bogues stuff all you like. I'm just enjoying the phrase "full effect of Muggsy.")
"Will a midget really bother Patrick Ewing?"
-Former Hornets coach Dick Harter, speaking from his hands and knees, mocking Muggsy and explaining to reporters why he didn't use Muggsy to front Ewing in certain defensive sets.
(Sadly, to this day, I'm not sure we've ever adaquetly answered this question. It's one of life's great mysteries.)
Sounded Good at the Time, Part II
In a story about Rock Newman, manager of then-Heavyweight champion Riddick Bowe, Rock is quoted as saying...
"We're on a roll. The wind's at our back. Everything we've touched has turned to gold."
While the 3 Evander Holyfield fights would ultimately define his career, Bowe would lose the title to Holyfield in their second fight about 7 months after this quote.
Letdown
Biggest disappointment of the issue is probably the one-page "Sports People" story about Shawn Bradley going on his Mormon mission prior to joining the NBA. Surprisingly bereft of any interesting anecdotes. A close runner-up is a big feature story on the history of ceremonial first pitches in major league baseball. Pretty boring for the most part.
NBA Coach Predictions
Finally, let's wrap things up by seeing how successful S.I. was in predicting which NBA coaches had the best chances of getting fired in April of '93....
Most Likely To Go - Ron Rothstein, Pistons
(Rothstein was fired at the end of the '93 season)
On The Bubble - Rick Adelman, Trail Blazers; Bob Hill, Pacers; Randy Pfund, Lakers; Jerry Sloan, Jazz
(Adelman lasted one more year before he was fired. Bob Hill was fired at the end of the season. Randy Pfund lasted until the end of the next season, when he was replaced by Magic Johnson. Jerry Sloan is still coaching the Jazz and is currently the 4th winningest coach in NBA history.)
Resigned To New Roles - Don Nelson, Warriors; Wes Unseld, Bullets
(Nelson lasted two more years in Golden State before jumping to the Knicks. Wes lasted one more year in Washington before getting the axe.)
Safe (Maybe) - Fred Carter, 76ers; Garry St. Jean, Kings; Bob Weiss, Hawks
(Carter was canned at the end of the '94 season. St. Jean lasted until 1997 with the Kings. Weiss went the way of Rothstein, getting fired at the end of the '93 season.)
So, by and large, the predictions were pretty solid. Only big misfire was Jerry Sloan.
Past S.I. reviews
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/11/old-si-review-november-21-1988.html
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/10/old-si-review-december-6-1993.html
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/10/old-si-review-december-8-1980.html
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/10/old-si-review-october-21-1991.html
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/09/old-si-review-june-26-1989.html
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Sega On Your Mobile
If they unleash 94, I am going to call my insurance company and let them know I will be rear ending five cars, smashing into three trees, and scoring 15 with Mogilny against the Whalers.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
He's Drinking a Frappe Down Cellar
I found myself at a sub shop the other day deciding whether I wanted an Italian or a Meatball parm. After weighing the pros and cons of each decision, I decided to go with the Italian. I put in my order and ask them to load it up. I turn around to start the same selection process at the chip rack and realize that the guy behind the counter is not done with me yet. He asks me if I want a roll or a wedge. I reply “a what”, he says “a wedge”… I am pretty puzzled at this point, but in an effort discover what the hell is occurring and end the current stand off I was in, I go with the wedge. Turns out it is just a sub, which I got me thinking about the whole sub category in general. Is there any other food group that has so many aliases? I thought I had heard them all, then “Wedge” gets thrown at me. Are there more variations beyond this that I have yet to come across? Well, hopefully some of you here can help me avoid any future situations where I stand in front of a sub shop employee feeling like Paris Hilton in a monastery. I have now come across:
-The Submarine (Sub)
-The Hero
-The Grinder
-The Hoagie
-The Po’boy
-The Wedge
Furthermore, what other food/drink names are dependent on their geographic resting point. Well, after doing some google research I found myself at this website that compiles surveys analyzing dialect dispersion around the country. Some other categories I found entertaining are listed below
Thick drink made with Milk and Ice Cream:
-Frappe
-Milkshake
-Cabinet
-Velvet
-Thick Shake
Now, here at 10CFP it is a Frappe and it will always be so, but more than 96% of the people surveyed call it a Milkshake, which is just chocolate syrup and milk in our book. And I have never heard of it being called a Cabinet and Velvet.
Sweetened Carbonated Beverage
-Soda
-Pop
-Coke
-Tonic
-Soft Drink
-Cola
-Fizzy Drink
-Dope
-Other (2.5)
These are all familiar with the exception of Dope and if you are calling it Fizzy Drink and are over the age of 8, then you have some issues to deal with.
I guess the difference in dialect always intrigued me because I did not know I had such a distinct one until I was in college. Instantly after I arrived people began asking me what the hell everything I said meant. Words like cellar, rubbish barrel, elastic, bubbler (the fountain water you hippie), rotary, clicker, packie, jimmies, breakdown lane and hoodsies all rendered looks of confusion. It is a great moment when you first start to realize that you know very little and will be learning so much.
Friday, February 23, 2007
More Globe Archive Stuff (Tom Glavine, Hockey Player, Edition)
DIVISION 1 HOCKEY\ BILLERICA WALLOPS WEYMOUTH NORTH\ BYLINEBY JERRY HIGGINSGLOBE CORRESPONDENT
Published on March 10, 1984
It was supposed to be a showcase of two of the better centers around in Weymouth North's Kevin Heffernan and Billerica's Tom Glavine.
What it turned out to be was a good old fashoned whupping as Billerica jumped out to an early 6-0 lead and coasted to a 10-2 romp over Weymouth North in the Eastern Mass. Division 1 quarterfinals last night at BU's Walter Brown Arena.
Three days later the Globe ran this story on Glavine winning the Carlton Award...
GLAVINE WINS CARLTON AWARD\ BILLERICA SENIOR CENTER CITED FOR HOCKEY, ACADEMIC ABILITY
Published on March 13, 1984
Author(s): Larry Ames Globe Staff
Tom Glavine, one of the finest athletes to come out of Billerica High in the past few years, is the winner of the second annual John Carlton Memorial Award.
The award is given by the Boston Bruins to a high school senior who combines exceptional hockey skills with academic excellence. Glavine will receive the award Saturday between periods of the Bruins' game against the New Jersey Devils at the Boston Garden.
Glavine, a center, was the leading scorer in Eastern Mass....
And, finally, here's the teaser from Billerica's loss to my alma mater, St. John's Prep, in the EMass semis....
ST. JOHN'S EARNS FINAL REMATCH
Published on March 14, 1984
Author(s): Jerry Higgins Globe Correspondent
For the fifth time since the Eastern Mass. hockey finals were split into Divisions 1 and 2 in 1972, there will be an all-Catholic Conference final in Division 1 at Boston Garden.
And, for the fourth time, it will mark the third meeting of the year between Matignon and St. John's Prep.
Last night, the Prep got balanced scoring and hot goaltending to ward off Billerica, 5-3, in the semifinals at the Garden.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
From the Boston Globe Archives....
MIKE BARNICLE\ I WAS JUST THINKING . . .'
Published on November 26, 1982
Author(s): Mike Barnicle
Not that it really matters, but:
Nancy Reagan had two turkeys in her house yesterday.
Stewardesses aren't as pretty as they used to be.
Diet Coke is a great drink.
Tab tastes like soap.
Pro football is as exciting as unloading a dishwasher.
John Glenn could be my President.
And things are so bad that even Bob Dole is looking good.
But Alan Cranston looks like E.T.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Of Babies & Brady's
It's hard to pick a most ridiculous part. Is it the kazoo intro? Is it the outfits? Is it the faux Jan? Is it the synchronized swimming? Tough to say.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Young Shaq Throws It Down
I think Dickie V. may have literally had an orgasm after the dunk.
Lyrical Foolishness
MAKING LOVE OUT OF NOTHING AT ALL (Air Supply)
I know just how to whisper
And I know just how to cry
I know just where I find the answers
And I know just how to lie
I know just how to fake it
And I know just how to scheme
I know just when to face the truth
And then I know just when to dream
And I know just where I touch you
And I know just what to prove
I know when to pull you closer
And I know when to let you loose
And I know the night is fading
And I know the time’s gonna fly
And I’m never gonna tell you everything I gotta tell you
But I know I’ve got to give it a try
And I know the roads to riches
And I know the ways to pain
I know all the rules and then I know how to break’em
And then I always know the name of the game
But I don’t know how to leave you
And I’ll never let you fall
And I don’t know how you do it
Making love out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all
Everytime I see you, well the rays of the sun are all
Streaming through the waves in your hair
And every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes
Like a spotlight
The beating of my heart is a drum and it’s lost
And it’s looking for a rhythm like you
You can take the darkness from the deep of the night
And turn it to a beacon burning endlessly bright
I gotta follow it ‘cause everything I know
Well, it’s nothing ‘till I give it to you
I can make the runner stumble
I can make the final block
And I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle
And I can make all the stadiums rock
I can make tonight forever
Or I can make it disappear by the dawn
And I can make you every promise that’s ever been made
And I can make all your demons be gone
But I’m never gonna make it without you
Do you really wanna see me crawl ?
And I’m never gonna make it like you do
Making love out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all...
Friday, February 02, 2007
Will the streak continue

The Celtics are going to hit the hardwood tonight in pursuit for their 14th straight loss. I am not sure which is a more impressive feat, the Suns' winning streak or the Celtics losing one. History tells us it is harder to lose a lot of games in a row. The longest losing streak is 23 games, while the Lakers won 33 straight in the 71-72 season. The best part for us Celtics fans is we actually get to cheer on this puppy. With Oden and Durant in mix this year, I hope they lose 30 straight.
Side note: That Duke/Virgina game was great entertainment last night. Sean Singletary is really exciting to watch and the Cavaliers, in my opinion, have the best backcourt in the nation. Singletary's one-handed fade away over McRoberts for the game winner was great, but the entire game he showed why he has the best handle on the ball in the country.

