Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Vintage Gus

Just finished reading Bill Simmons' latest basketball blog (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/blog/index?name=simmons) in which he (rightly) buries CBS for their inexcusable decision to cut Gus Johnson from their March Madness coverage this week. Like everyone else, we're huge Gus fans here at 10CFP. And, since you can never go wrong with clips of him going bananas at the end of a tight game, here's my favorite Gus clip of all-time (which I haven't seen linked as often as some others) from Gonzaga-Florida, 1999....

Monday, March 19, 2007

Hey Now, Jeffs!

We here at 10CFP would like to extend a hearty congratulations to the newly crowned 2006-07 Division III NCAA Men's Basketball Champions...the mighty Lord Jeffs of Amherst College.

The game story is here...


Friday, March 16, 2007

Please Stop

As I opened the 2007 Red Sox Annual last night, the news started reporting a weather warning. Now, as I sit and read about the future of the Sox farm system... I look out the window and see a sheet of white. I feel like I have been had, with 70 degree weather early this week, baseball was on my mind. With our Ace extending fascinating insight ranging from his contract to his thoughts on CHB to how his change is doing, I am nipping at the bit for opening day. But now this. Mother nature decides to take a crap on my optimistic attitude and now I will have to go home and friggin shovel.

Side Note: I highly urge all Red Sox Fans to purchase the 2007 Red Sox Annual. It is by far the most in depth and thought provoking pre-season literature out there. I would push all Baseball fans in general to visit Schillings website... it is that good.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Lyrics Analysis (Things That Make You Go Hmmm...)

Been a while since we've done a lyrics analysis here at 10CFP. Let's jump back into it with this "classic" from C&C Music Factory. As always, my comments in red...

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...
C&C Music Factory Featuring Freedom Williams

I was at the crib, sittin' by the fireplace
Drinkin' cocoa on the bear skin rug (I'm gonna go ahead and nominate those first two lines for "Best opening lyrics in the history of music." I mean,come on now. How can you top that?)
The door bell rang. Who could it be?
Thought to myself then started to shrug
Got to the door. Ding Dong. Who is it? (You seem genuinely perplexed by this whole thing. Why don't you just go ahead and end the suspense. Open the damn door.)
My girl's best friend had payed me a visit. ("Payed?" Come on, Lyrics World...you're better than that.)
Sly as can be, tight dress and all (I'm not sure "sly" is the right word.Her scheme, which you're about to drop on us, is awfully transparent.)
She knew that I was faithful. I really didn't have the gall. (Great line)
I tried to chilll. She made the move. (Lyrics World put the extra "l" in"chilll" and I'm glad they did. It belongs.)
Now I know my girlfriend wouldn't approve.
I didn't realize my girl was settin' me up
Yo, my girl didn't trust me. No! (Man, you can just feel the pain in his voice. That was cold, girl.)Yeah, but she lost control I wouln't take the bait.
I said chill baby baby chill baby baby wait (First of all, best line in the song. Just...awesome. But, also...did you really say that? Think about it. Think about the scenario. Then think of him dropping that exact line. Makes it even better.)
My girl bust in, Caught us creating a boom ("Creating a boom" is a phraseyou really don't hear enough.)
She said "Girlfriend"?

Things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm, hmm, hmm
Things that make you go hmm

Here's how it started
Just an example of how another brother can trample
Ruin your life, sleep with your wife (Dude, maybe your buddy's not the problem. I think it's your wife.)
Watch your behind
There was a friend of mine named Jay
Would come over late at night and say hey (Jay wasn't very articulate.)
I watched the fight. I thought it was alright.
'Cause me and Jay were really really tight (Wow. Those two lines might be the worst lyrics in music history. Horrible. Just horrible.)
So damned close we had the same blood type. (Yeah, you and several million other people. Minimum. If you're O+ or A+ then over 30% ofthe US population alone has the same blood type. Even if you have AB-, the most rare blood type, there are still at least 3 million matches in the US.)
Months went by and my wife got big (Can't say it in a more genteel way than that.)
We were havin' a child and I got another gig
So I let Jay move into the crib and chill (I think the damage is already done at this point anyway.)
He had his own room and helped pay the bills (I would hope he had his own room. Nice of him to help with the bills.)
The time had come (for the baby down to the scene)
It looked like Jay and I couldn't believe (OK, a)are you really going to be able to tell the baby looks like Jay in the delivery room? And b)assuming you could, is it really something that would make you go hmmmm? Seems more like something that would make you go apeshit.)
Before my eyes in the delivery room.

The things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
The things that make you go hmm, hmm, hmm
The things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
The things that make you go hmm.

Robbie Rob - break it down! (Always a good suggestion...)

Give it to me Give it to me Give it to me Give it to me (x7)
Give it to me Give it to me

Seventeen and I was havin' a ball
Eleventh grade and "Joe" I knew it all ("Joe I knew it all?" I'm not sure Lyrics World has that quite right. 17 year olds definitely think they know it all though. I agree with that part.)
I fell in love for the very first time
With this girl she really blew my mind
Inner sense and whole lotta class (Got to mean "innocence" here, no? Inner sense? That's crazy talk.)
Style that could give you whiplash (Oustanding)
We said hello and my heart beat stopped
She was the world and I was on top
Time went by, She filled my universe (Wait, so she's the world and you're the universe? I'm getting confused.)
We made love, She said I was the first
My boy kept tellin' me. Yo, I don't know
I think your girl's been playing tic tac toe (I bet Jay was involved.)
I'll ask my girl I know she only loves me
Wasn't I the one who took your viginity? (I love pop songs that rhyme "me" with "virginity.")The look on her face read sorrow and gloom
She said "Yeah, Why do you guys always ask that?" (That doesn't seem to rhyme but that's OK.)

Things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
It's the things that make you go hmm

(Repeat Chorus)

Hey ladies
Have you ever had a man
Go away for business, come back with a tan
Comes home late at night from work
You cooked him dinner now you feel like a jerk
Sayin' he didn't have time to eat
And he's not even hungry, he wants to be treat (What? "Wants to be treat?" Has to be another Lyrics World error.)
To the bedroom he said his head hurts
You're only makin' love in radical spurts (What's wrong with that?)
Mysterious calls and the phone goes click
You say to yourself "I'm gonna hit him with a brick" (In the words of Ron Burgandy, "Boy, that escalated quickly...")
Ain't no way he could be cheatin' on me
I wonder who bought him those BVD's (Really wish I had never read that line.)
Dressed to a T to hang with the fellas
Over the guys and I'm getting jealous
Comin' home late smellin' like perfume (fume)

(Repeat Chorus x7) (In retrospect, was that really necessary? Repeating the chorus 7 times? I say no.)

Things that make you go hmmm...

Friday, March 09, 2007

Shootout Goals

Apropos of nothing, here are eight of my favorite shootout moves from the youtube era in no particular order....

1) Pavel Datsyuk against Nashville. I've seen this one dozens of times and I still can't believe how bad he gets Vokoun to bite...

2) Marek Malik against Washington. This one's a bit over-rated in my book. It looks incredible if you've never played hockey but it's actually not that hard to do. There are plenty of guys who can pull it off. Trust me. But I still give him props for having the nads to pull it in one of the first shootouts in NHL history. Plus I love the reaction...

3) Henrik Zetterberg against Colorado. A lot of guys have scored on variations of this move but I like Zetterberg's best just for how smooth it is and how casual he is on the finish...

4) Ryan Getzlaf against Los Angeles. Harder than it looks in my book. Makes Garon completely buckle. Very nice...

5) Pierre-Marc Bouchard against Chicago. It's one thing to pull off the 360....thing I like about this one is that he's absolutely flying before he puts on the brakes and spins it in...

6) Sidney Crosby against Montreal. Just as cool as you like. The bottle-popper of all bottle-poppers...

7) Rob Shremp mix. Rob's kind of an underground internet legend for a handful of these kinds of goals. This is my favorite video of his...

8) Zach Parise against Toronto. A recent one. Love moves like this where a guy ends up with a wide open net....

Every Breath You Take

What is the all-time worst remake of a song. There is constantly talk about best covers (Toots and the Maytals, Country Road), but I am trying to figure out the worst. This question popped in my head last night as I heard the P-diddy version of Every Breath You Take and that is pretty bad, but there is no way it's the worst.

What is the worst cover of all-time cover?

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Old S.I. Review (April 12, 1993)

For this edition of Old S.I. Review we go with an April, 1993 issue celebrating North Carolina's NCAA title over Michigan in the Chris Webber timeout game. As always, let's begin at the beginning...

Sign O' The Times

First indication we're looking at something from the early-90's? Within the first 5 pages we've already had appearances from Chris Sabo (with goggles), Vendela & Kathy Ireland. Strong start.


The first highlight from the Letters section is so good I'm just going to go ahead and transcribe the whole thing...

Air Ball?

Wait a minute! You finally give the Cleveland Cavaliers some overdue attention (Can The Cavs Finally Jam? March 15) and they come off as hayseeds from the set of Hee Haw. In Cleveland we love the Cavs as players and, more importantly, as upstanding citizens of our community. Lenny Wilkens will soon be the NBA's winningest coach, and Northeast Ohio knows him as the Knights of Columbus choice for Catholic of the Year. We respect Brad Daugherty for extolling the virtues of Cleveland and a college education on The Arsenio Hall Show. We love Mark Price for his all-out hustle, leadership and marksmenship on the court, and for the example he provides our young people at The Chapel in Akron. We relate to the blue-collar work ethic of Craig Ehlo and Hot Rod Williams's total unselfishness as our super sub, plus the toughness of all our role players - even Danny Ferry, with his continuing struggles.

You missed the hoop on this one. Air ball! The real story behind these Cavs is one of unspoiled and unselfish players who seem to like each other as people and as athletes. That cliche about family values really applies to this special team.

Lyle R. Pohly
Mogadore, Ohio

Wow. So many questions after reading that letter. Like, is that Brad Daugherty-Arsenio Hall footage up on youtube yet? What do you get for winning the Northeast Ohio Catholic of the Year award? And, finally, did Lyle really drop an "Air ball!" taunt in a letter to S.I.?

Moving on, two readers wrote in to comment on a recent article about Bulls GM Jerry Krause. One guy said he thanks Krause for every single Bulls victory and claims his accomplishments are underrated. The other guy calls him a mediocre GM and argues that the Bulls wouldn't be a .500 team without Jordan. You can decide which guy was more right in the final analysis.

Finally, Lawrence T. Stoogenke (great name) of Stamford, CT wrote in to question how Phoenix Suns fans could've left Walter Davis off of their 25th anniversary team. The starting 5, as voted by the fans, was Paul Westphal, Jeff Hornacek, Alvan Adams, Charles Barkley and Tom Chambers. I don't feel like doing a ton of research but that seems like a valid point. Davis is still the all-time leading scorer in Suns history I believe. I'd have ranked him and K.J. ahead of Hornacek.

Bring Back The Smythe

In the Scorecard section, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is praised for getting rid of the old division and conference names and replacing them with "more user-friendly" geographic ones. Screw that. I hated it then and I still hate it now. I'd much rather still have the Adams, Patrick, Norris and Smythe divisions. Not to mention the Wales and Campbell conferences. Who cares if the other way is more "user-friendly?"

Hatin' On Vinny

"Testaverde looks like a quarterback, acts like a quarterback, he even talks like a quarterback. But he's got the heart of a placekicker."
-quote from Tim McDonald in the Florida Times-Union after Vinny left Tampa to sign with Cleveland

Mike Tyson Report

What was Iron Mike up to in the spring of 1993, you ask? Well, he was in prison. And he was reportedly about to convert to Islam and change his name to Malik Abdul Aziz. Which, apparently, he did end up doing according to his Wiki page. Also, according to his Wiki page, Tyson has 7 children: Gena, Mikey, D'Amato, Rayna, Amir, Miguel and Exodus. Awesome.

UNC-Michigan Recap

The cover story by Alexander Wolff, on Carolina's victory over Michigan in the national title game, was focused more on Dean Smith's greatness than Chris Webber's timeout. The headlines and the pictures are on Webber. And there's an insert titled "I Cost Our Team the Game" all about it as well. But the main article was really focused much more on Smith and the Heels.

One thing that was kind of news to me is that Michigan led by 4 with about 4:00 left. I didn't remember that. I thought they were chasing most of the game. But the game was very back-and-forth according to the story. And Michigan actually had a double-digit lead at one point.

Couple good points, which Wolff mentions in the story, on the Webber/timeout stuff.....1)Webber almost definitely traveled before he even took the timeout. 2)UNC had a bunch of fouls to give so, even if he doesn't call that timeout, Michigan's going to have a hard time getting a shot away in the final 10 seconds.

Best part of the story? I nominate these lines...

There also abides in Smith much of the activist spirit that helped integrate lunch counters and campaigned for a nuclear freeze - the man who, like John Stuart Mill, believes that society is perfectible. The coach takes after the public man, and thus his teams are the product of constant refinement.

Gotta respect anyone that can work a John Stuart Mill reference into a game story.

Birth Of The Marlins

Some highlights from Tim Kurkjian's article on the first game in Florida Marlins history, a 6-3 win behind starter Charlie Hough over the Dodgers...

-First AB in Marlins history was Hough against Jose Offerman. Charlie fanned him on 3 pitches.

-From 1982-1989 only Jack Morris won more games in the majors than Hough which, having lived through the 80's, seems semi-impossible to me.

-As of the article, Hough was the only pitcher in major league history to throw at least 375 innings both as a starter and a reliever.

-Chuck Carr, described as "an accomplished breakdancer," claimed he would steal 100 bases and could play CF as well as Andy Van Slyke. So, basically, he was biting Willie Mays Hayes' routine 4 years after Majoe League came out. Didn't do as well as Willie either. Chuck stole 58 bases in '93 which was the only time in his career he cracked 32 steals.

-Pitcher Bob McClure wrote a book called Rotting: The Craze of the 90's. According to Bob the book's about "doing nothing, looking like you're doing nothing, but not feeling guilty about it." It's currently unavailable on Amazon....


There is one customer review though. From 1998.

-SS Alex Arias used to rub a "red-haired voodoo Trool Doll" for good luck.

More Expansion '93 Tidbits

-Based on the records of previous expansion teams S.I. predicted that neither the Marlins nor the Rockies would have a winning season until at least 2000. Both beat that prediction with ease. The Rockies had 3 winning seasons in a row starting in 1995, including a wild card appearance. And, of course, the Marlins won the World Series in 1997.

-A blurb on Mile High Stadium, the Rockies' home for the 1993 season, speculates on whether the altitude would create a big home-field advantage. No mention of the impact it would have on offensive numbers as a whole though.

Sounded Good At The Time

In an article about the NFL free agency season being marked by numerous big-money deals for O-linemen, comes this this quote from Colts GM Jim Irsay...

"It's been a land rush to get the linemen. But we've got a franchise quarterback in Jeff George, and we're determined to protect our investment."

A year later George was shipped to Atlanta.


Moving on, the next story is a 3-page profile on Muggsy Bogues which, among other things, features a sublime picture of Muggsy trying to set a screen on Bill Laimbeer. I also enjoyed these two quotes from the story...

"People always say we'll probably never see another Larry Bird. But I've always felt we a better chance of seeing another Larry Bird than we do another Muggsy Bogues. Nobody has ever done what Muggsy is doing. And you really don't get the full effect of Muggsy until you go up and stand next to him."
-Hornets coach Allan Bristow

(You can debate the Bird-Bogues stuff all you like. I'm just enjoying the phrase "full effect of Muggsy.")

"Will a midget really bother Patrick Ewing?"
-Former Hornets coach Dick Harter, speaking from his hands and knees, mocking Muggsy and explaining to reporters why he didn't use Muggsy to front Ewing in certain defensive sets.

(Sadly, to this day, I'm not sure we've ever adaquetly answered this question. It's one of life's great mysteries.)

Sounded Good at the Time, Part II

In a story about Rock Newman, manager of then-Heavyweight champion Riddick Bowe, Rock is quoted as saying...

"We're on a roll. The wind's at our back. Everything we've touched has turned to gold."

While the 3 Evander Holyfield fights would ultimately define his career, Bowe would lose the title to Holyfield in their second fight about 7 months after this quote.


Biggest disappointment of the issue is probably the one-page "Sports People" story about Shawn Bradley going on his Mormon mission prior to joining the NBA. Surprisingly bereft of any interesting anecdotes. A close runner-up is a big feature story on the history of ceremonial first pitches in major league baseball. Pretty boring for the most part.

NBA Coach Predictions

Finally, let's wrap things up by seeing how successful S.I. was in predicting which NBA coaches had the best chances of getting fired in April of '93....

Most Likely To Go - Ron Rothstein, Pistons

(Rothstein was fired at the end of the '93 season)

On The Bubble - Rick Adelman, Trail Blazers; Bob Hill, Pacers; Randy Pfund, Lakers; Jerry Sloan, Jazz

(Adelman lasted one more year before he was fired. Bob Hill was fired at the end of the season. Randy Pfund lasted until the end of the next season, when he was replaced by Magic Johnson. Jerry Sloan is still coaching the Jazz and is currently the 4th winningest coach in NBA history.)

Resigned To New Roles - Don Nelson, Warriors; Wes Unseld, Bullets

(Nelson lasted two more years in Golden State before jumping to the Knicks. Wes lasted one more year in Washington before getting the axe.)

Safe (Maybe) - Fred Carter, 76ers; Garry St. Jean, Kings; Bob Weiss, Hawks

(Carter was canned at the end of the '94 season. St. Jean lasted until 1997 with the Kings. Weiss went the way of Rothstein, getting fired at the end of the '93 season.)

So, by and large, the predictions were pretty solid. Only big misfire was Jerry Sloan.

Past S.I. reviews