Veteran Freeze Pop readers know the drill by now. My comments, as always, in red....
I Wanna Sex You Up
Color Me Badd (First of all, I love the extra 'd' in Badd. Somehow it makes sense.)
Come inside take off your coat I'll make you feel at home (Word)
Now let's pour a glass of wine cuz now we're all alone (That doesn't really rhyme but whatever.)
I've been waiting for you girl just let me hold you close to me
Cuz I've been dying for you girl to make love to me (And that rhymes "me" with "me." Well done. So far I count two uses of the word "cuz" and about 4 two-syllabel words out of 50. There's nothing here so far to suggest anything beyond a 1st grade education.)
Girl you make me feel real good (I think Shakespeare wrote that line.)
We can do it til we both wake up (No you can't. You can do it until you both fall asleep. But unless you're some kind of a wizard that can do it in your sleep that's the end of it.)
Girl you know I'm hooked on you
And this is what I'll do
I wanna sex you
All night
You make me feel good
I wanna rub you down
I wanna sex you up (I think we can all agree....a timeless chorus there.)
Let me take off all your clothes
Disconnect the phone so nobody knows (You don't have to disconnect the phone, you know. Simply letting it ring will do the trick. Only answering the phone would cause problems. And even then, you'd have to tell them what was going on for them to know. But you know what? Maybe you should just disconnect the phone. I don't trust that you won't mention the rubbing and whatnot.)
Let me light a candle
So we can make it better (Do any of the lines in this verse rhyme?)
Makin love until we drown (Until you drown? Why would that happen? Please tell me a pool is not involved.)
Girl you know it feels real good
We can do it til we both wake up (Shaking my head)
Girl you know I'm hooked on you
And this is what I'll do
I wanna sex you up
Makin' love until we drown (Fine. If you say so. I give up.)
I wanna sex you up
All I wanna do is
I wanna sex you up
All night
Girl you make me feel good
I wanna rub you down
I wanna sex you up (I may be off but I count 25 references to "I" or "me" to this point. A little self-centered, no?)
Make sweet lovin all night long ("Sweet love" or "sweet lovin?" "Make sweet lovin" sounds like something Tarzan would say.)
I wanna sex you up
Feels so right it can't be wrong (I bet it could be wrong though. And probably is.)
Don't be shy girl rescue me (From what? The drowning?)
I wanna sex you up
Open up your heart and I'll set you free (Doubtful)
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2 comments:
That’s great.
I would argue that everything after the removal of the coat would make not make her feel at home at all. Who was with the two of them before they poured the glass of wine. Also, they used the word "now" twice in that sentence.
I think they stole that passage verbatim from Robert Frost, especially the drown.
To the tick tock, you don't stop...we knocked boots til 6 o clock.
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