Friday, October 06, 2006

Album Covers: Part 3

Machon has been reviewing a number of album covers for this piece and while Millie Jackson’s covers are not as absurd as some, her consistency is unprecedented. As Bill James says, you have to look at both peak and career value for accurate results. So, let’s have a look at three of her best.

Back to the Shit

-The obvious question is, why? Why did she do this? Did she write the majority of this album on the can? Maybe she thought that the songs on it where crap. I don’t know, but I can’t imagine too many people where walking up the aisle at their local Coconuts and stopped in their tracks when they saw this one. “Millie Jackson, taking a dump! I got to have that”.
-However, once you read the title of the tracks it starts to make more sense. For example, the 4th song on the album, “Love Stinks”, is followed by the classic (and Machon’s favorite) “Muffle that Fart”. (by the way, I went directly to itunes in pursuit of this song. Unfortunately, they only have two songs involving Millie and she sings backup on both.)
-That has to be a tough dress to take a crap in, but she seems to be enjoying it. Also, why are her shoes off?

For Men Only

-Let me be the first one to say, I hope she either A) used the other hand or B) washed thoroughly, before letting these guys do whatever in gods name they are about to do.
-No need for a wrist band here pal. She is not that attractive and with three guys, grip should not be too much of a problem.
-Where the hell did the construction worker come into play, and why not take the helmet off?
-Speaking of the previous album, would these guys be acting like this if they saw that cover? Call me shallow, but as soon as I see a grown woman taking a dump in a dress with no shoes on, well… lets just say it does not help her stock rise.

E.S.P (Extra Sexual Persuasion)

-Alright, I have been trying to wrap my hands around this title for a while. She is implying that she does not have E.S.P in the sense that she can acquire information by means of some 6th sense. Instead, she will persuade you sexually, extra sexually. Fine, but why dress up like a fortune teller?
-She is clearly out of her F’n mind.
-Song number 5, Sexercise Pt 1 & 2. Wouldn’t it be just Pt 1? Millie is sort of losing me here. Two parts would imply there are two sections. For example, Sexercise Pt 1 could be the second song, while Pt 2 would be heard later in the album. But then again, see the point above.
-That is a huge mouth
-Song number 7 is titled “Slow Tongue”, Machon is guessing it is a tribute to Clapton.

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