Another Example

Here's a perfect example of what I was talking about it my last post...



I mean, Dallas Green got name-checked in that one. We need a comprehensive site for these, broken down by team, ASAP.

Raymond Berry's Pats

You know what we need? We need someone to start a website that posts nothing but sports-related song parodies, jingles and theme songs. You're telling me you wouldn't enjoy a site that had that Bernie Kosar song they made up back in the 80's in Cleveland, T.O.'s rap about joining the Cowboys or Jess Cain's 1967 classic, "The Man We Call Yaz?" I know I would. And I think someone needs to capture these things before they get completely lost to history. There's too much comedy at stake not to do it.

Take "Raymond Berry's Pats," a snappy little number they used to play on the local airwaves during the Pats '86 Super Bowl run and featured lyrics like this...

"My name is Raymond Berry and I'm proud of all my men
Tell Richard Dent and Payton that we're not afraid of them
Oh, we took Don Shula and Al Davis, Ditka here's our plan
We'll defrost the Refrigerator, then shut down McMahon."

and this...

"Our offense, folks, it rarely chokes...this year we've won close games
The stars are Hannah, Holloway, Collins and Craig James
Oh, there's scoring from Morgan and Eason's the reason Chicago will finally collapse
We are a team of destiny....we're Raymond Berry's Pats."

I think we need to start tracking this stuff down ASAP.

Bend It Like Homer

"The first thing he (Beckham) needs to do is get himself a part on 'The Simpsons' as a guest star," quipped Richard Laermer, a marketing expert.

Really Rich? I'm no "expert" but I do work in the marketing field and, believe me, I respect 'The Simpsons'. All that being said, I hardly think that the FIRST thing he needs to do is get himself on the 19th season on The Simpsons. He's already kinda established as a megastar and, to be honest, people aren't really watercoolering Homer Simpson anymore. I think all they need to do is hit The Ivy once with Katie and Tom and off they go....

http://www.nypost.com/seven/01122007/news/nationalnews/its_beck_to_the_future_nationalnews_clemente_lisi.htm

Bo vs. Roenick: The Age Old Debate

I am going to settle the age old question: who is the better video game athlete, Bo or Roenick?

To me it is crystal clear and while I like 94 much better, Bo was and is the more dominating of the two.

Let’s begin with looking at the landscape of 94. Roenick was great, but if I was forced to play one game for my life, I would not choose the Blackhawks. My choice would undoubtedly be Buffalo. In fact, the Blackhawks are not present in my top 8 favorite teams in the game, which are:

Buffalo
Boston
Calgary
Montreal
Winnipeg
Rangers
Penguins
Kings

While many people say Jeremy was “unstoppable”, every seasoned NHL 94 player knows this to be false. The thing that makes him so good is the fact he is tough to knock down. However, if you just utilize the hook (A button) you can tie him up pretty easily. The Blackhawks are certainly a great team, but that has just as much to do with Eddie the eagle as it does Roenick.

This is not true for Tecmo Bowl. In the original, Bo is on his own planet. Not one player compares to him. There is no Mogilny, Bure, Bourque, or Fluery comparison in Tecmo Bowl. Bo is much better than Sweetness. He is so good, he can beat any team on his own. Sure, Tim Brown is a solid number 2, but make no mistake… Bo OWNS that game. There is no hook button to slow him down, he just tears through defenses. Furthermore, the better you and your friends get at NHL, the more of a non-factor Roenick becomes. If two people are playing that really know what they are doing, can control the goalie, and don’t rely on the same few moves every time, it becomes a level playing field with most teams. A poor 94 player will never beat a very good one, we know this. However, a bad Tecmo Bowl player may have a chance with Bo. That is the difference.

The Force himself:


Old Article on the greatness of NHL 94

3rd Period Blues

I'll give the Boston Bruins credit. With tonight's loss in Ottawa, in a game where they led 2-0 going into the 3rd period, they officially made me curious. And the question they had me pondering was this..."are they really that bad when leading after 2 periods or does it just feel that way?" Because, even when they've held on to win, it feels like they're getting killed in the 3rd lately. So I looked it up. And here are the results:

2006-07 Boston Bruins Game Log when leading after 2 periods

Game 1 (Oct. 12 @ St. Louis) Led 1-0 after 2. Scored early in the 3rd to go up 2-0. Gave up two late goals and lost in a shootout. (Lost the 3rd, 2-1)

Game 2 (Oct. 19 vs. Calgary) Led 3-1 after 2. Won 3-2. (Lost the 3rd, 1-0)

Game 3 (Nov. 2 vs. Buffalo) Led 3-1 after 2. Scored early in the 3rd to go up 4-1. Gave up 3 late ones and lost in a shootout. (Lost the 3rd, 3-1)

Game 4 (Nov. 11 vs. Ottawa) Led 3-2 after 2. Ottawa tied it but Boston won it 4-3 on a Bergeron goal. (Tied the 3rd, 1-1)

Game 5 (Nov. 16 vs. Toronto) Led 1-0 after 2. Toronto tied in the 3rd but the B's won in OT. (Lost the 3rd, 1-0)

Game 6 (Nov. 22 @ Pittsburgh) Led 3-1 after 2. Pittsburgh scored twice in the 3rd, including a tying goal with :30 seconds to go, to send it to OT. Bruins ultimately won in a shootout. (Lost the 3rd, 2-0)

Game 7 (Nov. 25 @ Toronto) Led 2-0 after 2. Traded goals in the 3rd and won 3-1. (Tied the 3rd, 1-1)

Game 8 (Dec. 19 @ Ottawa) Led 5-1 going into the 3rd and won 7-2. (Won the 3rd, 2-1)

Game 9 (Dec. 21 vs. Vancouver) Led 2-0 after 2. Outshot 14-0 in the 3rd but held on for the shutout. (Tied the 3rd, 0-0)

Game 10 (Dec. 26 @ Columbus) Led 4-3 after 2. Gave up the tying goal with 23 seconds left and lost 5-4 in OT. (Lost the 3rd, 1-0)

Game 11 (Dec. 29 @ Chicago) Led 4-0 after 2. Gave up 3 goals in less than 6 minutes to start the 3rd and were lucky to get out of there with a 5-3 win after a huge save from Thomas and a late empty-netter. (Lost the 3rd, 3-1)

Game 12 (Jan. 6 vs. Philadelphia) Led 3-2 after 2. Went up 4-2 early in the 3rd and won 4-3. (Tied the 3rd, 1-1)

Game 13 (Jan. 9 @ Ottawa) Led 2-0 after 2. Lost 5-2. (Lost the 3rd, 5-0)


So that's 13 3rd period leads so far. Let's look at some stats from that baker's dozen.

Game Results
Regulation wins: 7
Regulation losses: 1
OT wins: 1
OT losses: 1
Shootout wins: 1
Shootout losses: 2

(7 regulation wins out of 13? Not so good. While they did recover 2 of those games in OT or a shootout, that essentially boils down to a loss of 8 points in the standings.)

3rd Period Winner
Bruins: 1
Opponents: 8
Tie: 4

(Pretty much speaks for itself. Only one time in 13 did the Bruins win the 3rd period.)

Total Goals
Bruins: 8
Opponents: 22

(Care to guess how many times have they held a team scoreless in the 3rd when entering with the lead? Try once. And that was the Vancouver game were they were outshot 14-0.)

Getting badly outshot isn't exactly a fluke either. Check out the shot totals against and for in those games:

13-6
19-12
17-8
18-6
20-4
14-0
9-6
11-11
9-13
10-8
11-5
9-13
14-7

They were outshot in 10 of those 13 periods. And most of them weren't even close.

So I guess that sums it up. Are the Bruins really that bad with a lead? Yeah, pretty much. At least so far. I'm not entirely sure why they're so bad, although I have my theories. A lot of youth. Some shaky coaching. A starting goalie that, at least in my mind, isn't as good as he's made out to be at times. Regardless, it's been discouraging to watch.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah....

When's the last time you saw Elton John's "I'm Still Standing" video? A year ago? Five years ago? Ten years ago? I'm guessing, if you're like me, you have a vague memory of it at best. Elton's at some kind of beach resort with...uhhh...painted dancers? Something like that? Well, yes. But you can't fully appreciate it until you take it all in again. And, heaven forbid, you've never seen it? Well, please sit back and enjoy.....

Michael Cera

This kid is talented and any fan of AD already knows this. He made this parody of Aleksey Vayner's, "Impossible is Nothing" for McSweeney's Presents: The World, Explained :

Album Cover

-Chick Willis with Blues: because he will most certainly be arrested and held without bail once people start to get wind of this situation. At first, I thought he was just having his girlfriend call him "daddy" but after listening to the song... I am not sure those were Chick's intentions.

-Chick still calls himself the "Stoop down man" today, it is even on his business card, which in my book puts him directly behind Tobias Funke's Analrapist card.

-The title song was considered too raunchy to be played on the radio, but turned out to be a huge jukebox hit. Does that happen anymore? Are there still huge jukebox hits? Furthermore, was there some committee that bar-hopped daily to discover this or did the jukeboxes have enough technology that they could keep track? I would have to imagine that in today's world, keeping track and calculating true jukebox hits would be very simple... Unfortunately, I could probably give you the top three:

1. Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
2. Piano Man - Billy Joel
3. Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond

If not everywhere, they certainly would be the top three in every college town.

-Speaking of bars, what would happen if you walked up to some girl at a bar and actually tried this line? Someone out there, for the love of everything holy, give it a try and report back here immediately.

Something's Missing

It's going to be 70 f'n degrees in NY today. 70! This is going to be the tamest weather on Wild Card weekend since the NFL was the first league to incorporate the concept in 1970. With two games in the east and one in a dome, only Seattle will have to deal with the chance of some cold weather… but lets face it, It's Gonna Rain.

That being said, I am not sure how happy I am about the weather. On a personal level, I am thrilled. The last thing I would want to be doing is shoveling snow, but isn’t the crappy conditions and cold weather part of the NFL playoff charm? What other sport puts their games in the hand of mother nature like football and when are they more at her mercy than the playoffs. In the confines of a football stadium, do harsh weather conditions not make for memorable moments? The Snow Bowl at Foxboro, “The Greatest Game Ever Played”, 1934 Bears vs. Giants at the Polo Grounds, “The Snow Plow Game”, and the list could go on. These are the games that live in the stories passed on. Even back when we played as kids, wasn’t it the pick up games in the mud and snow that we cherished? Nothing was better than coming home, covered in mud, scrapes, and bruises and chugging some hot chocolate by the fire. Well, there will be no hot chocolate this year and with “field turf” everywhere, there will be little mud. (Note: I do like field turf, but it does strip some romanticism from the fan and historical perspective.) Not to mention, our beloved Patriots have a spectacular record in nasty weather games.

Either way, we have two great days of football and I think that the chalks beat the dogs in every case. If there has to be one upset, I like the Chiefs. They match up well against the Colts and if Peyton is not hitting his men early, watch out. The four best teams in the NFL are in the AFC and I expect them all to face off next weekend... and yes, I will be hoping for some snow.

Vintage Fung Wah

From boston.com, this story doesn't surprise me one bit....

Fung Wah bus runs into trouble on turnpike

By Mac Daniel, Globe Staff

In the latest trouble for the Fung Wah discount bus line, the wheels literally fell off a New York-to-Boston bus on the Massachusetts Turnpike today.

None of the 30 passengers on board were injured, but State Police cited the company after two of the tandem rear wheels on the right side of the bus detached from the vehicle's rear axle as it was headed from New York to Boston.

The lesson, as always....if someone offers you a $10 ride from New York City to Boston...assume the worst.

"Good Luck Man"

Wow, just wait for 50 seconds into this clip. Raitis Ivanans and Georges Laraque go at it while Laraque is hooked up to a mic.



"You want to... Ok, Square Up"

Deep Thoughts

I was always a big fan of "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handy, back when they used to air on SNL. And I don't know what made me think of it but I had one in my head this morning on the way into work. So I decided, for this post, to look up Deep Thoughts online and list my all-time top ten. I present them below in no particular order...

1) If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.

2) It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

3) Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

4) To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

5) Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

6) If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

7) One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late.

8) If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

9) When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.

10) The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Cruising Forward

Not many actors, I believe, are more batshit crazy than Tom Cruise. When he fired his publicist a couple years back, brought on his equally crazy sister, and lost his mind on Oprah, it all surfaced. Looking back, it all made sense. From his ridiculous karate pool antics in The Color of Money to his portrayal of Cole Trickle, he fit the bill. My question is, does it affect his career? At first, I thought I would never be able to look at his roles the same, but I find myself watching TC movies constantly. In fact, this week alone I have watched Cocktail, A Few Good Men, The Last Samurai, and The Color of Money... and it's Wednesday! Now, I may not have watched them in their entirety, but I was flipping to them in between commercials during bowl games. So I found myself thinking about TC’s movie career and how much it will change down the road. And the thing that occurred to me is, if he has always been this crazy… why quit on him now. The man has made 33 movies and I can only count a handful of ones I did not like a lot. Some are unintentionally genius, some are just real good… but the fact is, the guy makes entertaining movies. I guess what I am saying is this, TC has not changed, it is our perception of him that has and for that I saw keep on keepin’ on Tom… I will be watching.

I'm Not Done Yet...

I have to add one more post about that game. I'm sorry. It has to be done. It was that good. I mean, a hook and lateral and a Statue of Liberty in the same game? Was I dreaming or did that really happen? Good Lord, what a game. WHAT A GAME!!!

18 point 2nd-half comeback. Tipped-ball TD. A 7-yard two-point conversion after two penalties. Back-breaking INT of the highest order. Hook and freaking lateral on 4th and freaking 18. 25-yard TD run on the 1st play of OT. Ballsy call on 4th and 2 for a TD. Even ballsier call to go for 2 and the win. EVEN BALLSIER call to run the Statue of freaking Liberty. Game over. Unreal.

Oh yeah...and an incredibly bizarre live proposal from one of the players to his cheerleader girlfriend. Does that cover it?

Are You Kidding Me?

I'm way too tired to write anything in-depth but, I'm sorry, the 4th quarter and OT of that Oklahoma-Boise State Fiesta Bowl deserves to be honored immediately. All I can say is wow. That was un-freakin-believable.

Broken Branch

"Former Patriots WR Deion Branch spoke about his most recent performance, which included four dropped passes in the Seahawks' 20-17 loss to the Chargers on Sunday. Branch's comments are detailed in this Associated Press piece.
"I feel I let everybody down. My teammates. Friends. Family," Branch said. "I never want to have that feeling again."
Branch has played in 13 games for the Seahawks this season, and has totaled 50 catches and four touchdowns."

Listen, I love Deion Branch. I named a mix CD after him at one point because of his contributions. But can we please start to acknowledge that he isn't Jerry Rice? For one quick second? He's got 50 catches. For comparison, Reche Caldwell has 57. Granted, it would be nice to have Branch and Caldwell in the same WR corps (in my mind, Caldwell is definitely as good as David Givens. Both were elevated by Thomas Brady). But in the end, another team valued Deion Branch as a carry-the-team #1 WR....and he's not.

It looked ugly early as Brady struggled with timing and learning about each particular talent. It takes time to figure out that Doug Gabriel can't handle Patriot Life and Caldwell is a good listener and has worked his way to learn what Brady wants. But don't you think Belichick knew that his team could compete well enough for the first 8 weeks during this stretch? This team is about to win 12 games. 12-4! We were juicy for excitement in 1996 when the Bledsoe/Parcells Pats stole the 11th win at Giants Stadium in the last week of the season. How things change....now the Pats run up a ho-hum 12-win division title and the Bruins and Celts would set off warning alarms by even suiting up for a Game 7 playoff tilt at the TD...try selling that to someone in 1983.

You Got Far Enough

Just heard 'Summer of '69' blaring through Duane Reade's drug store-quality sound system...this caught my ears:

"Me and some guys from school

Had a Band and we tried real hard

Jimmy quit and Jody got married

I shoulda known we'd never get far

Oh when I lock back now

That summer seemed to last forever

And if I had the choice

Ya - I'd always wanna be there

Those were the best days of my life"

Maybe, Bryan, those were in fact the best days of your life. However, I'm willing to bet Jimmy and Jody wished they had stuck it out at least through '(Everything I Do) I Do It For You', you know, for the cash flow.

The 3 Spot

So the NFL has moved the Dolphins at Colts to 4:15 pm. Nice. So now, the Pats need to win at 1 PM and derail the Vince Young Express and pray the Fins can topple the wayward Colts to get that 3 seed, which may be super valuable this year in the AFC. As for Wild Card implications, whether its the Jets, Broncos, Bengals, Titans or Jags, it doesn't really matter, they've faced them all and they'll need to gut out that first home game. Then, the 3 seed would draw the Ravens the following week. Frankly, I can't imagine the Pats losing that game....as well as the Ravens have played, I'm not convinced they can beat Brady. As for the AFC Championship Game, could the Colts somehow derail MartyBall in the second round? In that case, you could possibly have Colts in town for the AFC Championship game in Foxboro, where they have won two in a row. Funny, I'd rather head to sunny San Diego to see Schottenheimer try to take down Belichick.

Can the Fins beat the Colts in Indy? I don't know, but I do know the Texans team the Pats demolished two weeks ago and I can't believe they beat the Colts. Next weekend is going to be wild....

One Night

How many times do you think you've heard U2's 'One'?

Have a Merry Christmas. Thanks for visiting our site.

Christmas Lists

Here is a quick list of some Christmas greats in a number of genres:

Music:
-Jingle Bell Rock - Bruce Springsteen, Asbury Park, Dec. 2001. Hadley can weigh in more on this topic because he was at the show, but it is pretty amazing.

Movie:
-National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
-A Charlie Brown Christmas

Beer:
-Brooklyn Winter Ale. I would also recommend: Rogue's Santa's Private Reserve, Alesmith's Speedway Stout, Heavyweight Perkuno Hammer Imperial Porter

Food:
-For our family, it's always Chowder, Haddock, and Lobster on Christmas Eve. We have added a cheese plate the past few years that has become a staple. The cheese plate stepped in with a VORP somewhere between Travis Hafner and Ryan Howard.

Television:
-The Office: The Christmas Party & A Benihanna Christmas

Candy:-Andes Mints. Not sure why, I just always associate it with Christmas... and they sort of taste like what I imagine Christmas to taste like.

Activity:
-Trivial Pursuit. We always paired up and went at it while we waited for Midnight Mass to commence. Every year while we played I would vow to engage in the board game world more often, which of course never happened.

Dessert:
-Our favorite Italian Pastry Dessert... the Cannoli. It doesn't hurt when it's dipped in chocolate.

Santa's Gifts:
-We are firm believers that Santa's gifts are unwrapped, left on the couch, so when you come down stairs you are just completely overwhelmed. As you got older and learned to keep your head on a swivel, it became easier... but those first few years you loose yourself in the excitement. Also, wrapping presents is what us humans do... Santa and his elves have enough work to get done, never mind to individually wrap millions of presents. Furthermore, that has to take care of, at least, 3 rain forests.

Book:
-A Christmas Carol: Dickens. I know, but name a better one.

NBA:
-The Knicks have played a game on Christmas 44 times. The also have the most wins and the most losses
-Pistons have the worst record on Christmas at 10-22
-Most Points in a single Game: Bernard King. King put up 60 in 1984 in a 120-114 loss to the Nets
-Phil Jackson gets the “My Family Hates Me” Award for coaching a game every year on Christmas since 1990 with two exceptions, 1995 and 2004.


Lastly, Here is MSNBC's year in pictures. I have always been a sucker for this type of thing. Some of them are nice, some are not so nice... but, in the end, they keep you balanced.


Thanks for stopping by and Merry Christmas.

New Jersey Headache

Not too long ago, I explained my disdain for the humdrum monotony of uniforms in sports today. After sifting through pictures of the Finnish Hockey League, I will take the current state of jersey's over what they are sporting every day of the week.



It gives me a headache to look at. Each player looks like a Nascar vehicle.

By the way, the picture is of Bruins goalie prospect Tuukka Rask. Rask is playing out of his skin in the Finnish league and will make a great addition to Providence shortly. I can't believe we were able to land Rask for Raycroft, which we may look back upon with disbelief in a few years (if you don't already). Here is a write up on Rask from Hockey's Future:

"For over ten years, goaltending has been the strongest position for Finland at U20 level. A returning WJC all-star in Tuukka Rask (BOS) erases any doubt that it will be the case this year as well. One of the quickest butterfly goalies in the world, he had 53 saves in a 1-0 overtime victory against Sweden in last year's quarterfinals. Rask has been in a challenging situation heading into each of his WJC tournaments. This fall he had as many starts as he could handle behind the grossly inconsistent Ilves team in the Finnish league, also preparing for international duties while taking care of military service, too. Despite this, Rask hasn't struggled much yet, and he has made progress on his weaknesses: consistency and rebound control."

You can catch Rask and other great NHL Prospects in the World Junior Championship, which starts on the 26th and can be watched on TSN.com.



-Sorry about the multiple Bruins post as of late, but we haven't felt this good about the squad in quite some time.

History Beckons

We stopped watching wrestling a long time ago here in Freeze Pop Land but, every now and then, you have to pay homage to one of the greats. Here are two clips from a master of his craft...

Bowling for the Gutter

It's a bit delayed, but it needs to be addressed. One Patriot makes the Pro Bowl when they have 10 wins in 14 weeks? Child, please. You're telling me not one or two out of Vrabel, Brady, Samuel, Mankins, Wilfork, Colvin and Warren should fly Oceanic to Honolulu? The whole process is dumb. Don Banks at SI.com gives us some insight to the voting, which seems to have less thought put behind it than any Who's Hotter vote currently on every gossip site in America.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/don_banks/12/19/pro.bowl/index.html

Toy Story

Times Square is absolutely insane right now...4 days before Christmas, tourists shopping, workers carring Yankee Swap (we call it Nasty Christmas) bags and food trays for holiday parties, construction seemingly on every block....just a complete mess. Strolling through this morning, I saw a party of five of out-of-towners: mommy, daddy, overweight 9 year old boy and his two slightly younger sisters....mommy had them parked on the northwest corner of 44th and Broadway, giving them a wayward lesson on early morning television:

Mom: "Guys, this is where they have the Today Show! You know the show where they have signs...and they stand outside and people wave! You know, the one we watch at home....come on, with Al Roker? We watch it all the time! Let's look in the windows and see if we see anyone famous!"(editor's note: there is clearly nobody in the building. No cameras, no other fans, no humans of any sort)

Meanwhile, the 9 year old boy is screeching "Toys R Us! Toys R Us! Toys R Us!" at the top of his lungs. Hey mom, first of all, you are standing in front of ABC's Good Morning America set. Matt Lauer doesn't work here. Second, you've got your three lovelies mesmerized by the largest Toys R Us on the planet directly across the street. You could be introducing them to Jesus Christ Himself and it wouldn't alter their stupor. This is their big moment; it's like there two outs in the 10th and Gary Carter is coming to the plate. Let them in the freaking store.

(Sorry I couldn't type the backwards "R". My keyboard doesn't have that....)

Speaking of Ex-Bruins

In case you were wondering how things are going for Hal Gill up in Toronto...

http://mirtle.blogspot.com/2006/12/gill-ty-as-charged.html

Perception vs Reality

The Bruins took a beating for trading the Hart Trophy winner, Joe Thornton. Oh, did they ever...scores of people who hadn't watched a hockey game in 10 years were lamenting the loss of the great, unique, amazing Thornton who had led the Bruins to such great heights. What would they do without Joe? The franchise is doomed! I'll never watch them again! They are dead to me!

These people, for the most part, couldn't tell you three specific things about Thornton's game...and many conveniently forgot that he certainly had some serious flaws. I'll be the first to admit that he's an excellent passer, that he's nearly impossible to move from the back of the net, that he has a tremendous power-play pedigree. I will also remind you that he doesn't shoot the puck, that he takes dumb penalties and that his game is remarkably easy to shadow with an aggressive checking line in a playoff series. I also know this: that this was the Bruins' Scott Kazmir moment...but less destructive.

Hardcore Mets fans are convinced, for better or worse, that the Kazmir trade was necessary. It woke up the Wilpons from a string of terrible decisions and opened their eyes. They brought in Omar Minaya and expected better baseball decisions...and they were rewarded with countless smart, aggressive baseball decisions ever since. They are now in a position to have extended success for the foreseeable future. All because they botched a trade so bad that it made everyone's head spin.

The Bruins situation is eerily similar, albeit not quite as bad for two reasons: 1) Sturm, Stuart and Primeau are actually servicable hockey players and b) most importantly (I've been harping on this since the trade actually happened), there is a hard cap in the NHL. The Thornton trade, like the Kazmir trade, woke up the Jacobs family, finally forced Harry Sinden and his Brigade out of the front office and brought in a regime, through Peter Chiarelli, that is setting out to make calculated, aggressive hockey decisions. Sounds obvious, but I'm conviced Mike O'Connell ran his team by searching Google for online forums like "We Love Enforcers Who Can't Skate Well", "The Draft Isn't That Important" and "If NHL '94 Doesn't Need More Than One Scoring Line, Than Neither Do We".

In the Mets case, they could have afforded Kazmir forever, so the only benefit was that it shook things up...but in the case of the Bruins, they received the Kazmir-induced shake-up, the booty from the Thornton trade (three servicable players)...and tons of cap room. Luckily, Chiarelli, with help from Jeff Gorton et al, delivered, producing two studs: Zdeno Chara and Marc Savard. Chara is certainly a freak of nature who is a very solid defensemen (with flaws, I may add, but still very good) but Savard...he's the reason I write this song....he's virtually Joe Thornton without the pedigree, attention and reputation. Check this out:

2006-2007 - Regular Season - Points - TOTAL POINTS

11 MARC SAVARD C BOS 31 games 11 G 30 A 41 P
15 JOE THORNTON C SJS 34 games 9 G 30 A 39 P

20 PATRICE BERGERON C BOS 31 games 10 G 27 A 37 P

Interesting...first of all the franchise-killing decision has, in 12 short months, been somewhat resolved. Second, the Bruins have two centers in the Top 20 in scoring. They are very much in the mix for the playoffs. They've been very competitive since everything settled down in October. All the panic and doomsday scenarios, when you take a step back, were a tad overplayed. Briefly, the Phil Kessel testicular cancer thing seems to be, thankfully, a managable situation. If he's okay physically and mentally, he's going to be amazing...he has top notch hands and wheels, but cancer is obviously unpredictable.

All in all, I'm enjoying the Bruins. For those who swore them off, just want to let you know that there's actually been a regime change...not sure if you noticed. Yes, the crowds at the TD are currently pathetic and it's going to take a little while to fix that, but in the end there is in fact a hockey team in Boston and we could be watching some late spring hockey very soon.

Incidental Milk

I bought a box of Junior Mints this afternoon during my lunch break and, while riding the elevator back to my office, happened to read the warning on the side of the box...

Warnings

• Allergen Information
  • Manufactured on shared equipment with milk-containing products
  • Incidental milk may be present

"Incidental milk?" I'm sorry. Did you say "incidental milk" may be present? Yikes. Now there's a two word phrase I never expected to hear. And, to be perfectly frank, I hope I never hear it again. Incidental milk? No thanks.

5 bad recommendations

1. Got some free time this week? Feel a little stressed out? Well jump in your car and head over to your mall. Make sure to wear a jacket, because nothing beats sweating through four layers of clothing while eating samples in the food court.

2. Hungry? Hurry up and get over to BK and chow down on their Triple Whopper with Cheese . In fact, your better off just grabbing one while you are in the food court at the mall.

3. Go rent "Car 54: Where Are You?".

4. Purchase a Huge Picture of an athlete and throw it up on your living room wall. Nothing will add that welcoming touch you're looking for during the holidays like a Carmelo Cut Out next to your tree. Can we get it with him slapping some Knicks in the face as well? Seriously, who is buying these things. I understand for a child’s bedroom, but their commercials are aimed at middle aged white men. I don't know, maybe I am just not hip anymore.

5. Go catch a Hornets game. I advocate going to see as many sporting events as you can, but if I lived in New Orleans and was given tickets I would not go. Stern thinks they will turn it around, but until that point... I'd rather watch water boil.

The Zoo

"3. Keep an eye on the Umass football team. They only lost to Navy by a point and beat Colgate and Villanova. The Minutemen are returning back to McGuirk Staduim to face Stoney Brook(0-3) and Machon predicts a blow out. Minutemen vs. The Seawolves " Machon, posted September 22.

They have not lost since. They are 13-1 going into the National Championship Game in Chattanooga tonight against Appalachian State (13-1). Appalachian state took home the title last year and Umass is returning for their first time since 1998, when they beat Georgia Southern under the "soon to be" head coach of the Boston College Eagles, Mark Whipple. Umass is lead by running back Steve Baylark, who is just shy of 2,000 rushing yards this year. He has rushed for at least 1,000 for each of his four seasons. Umass is strong on both sides of the ball and Appalachian State reminds me a lot of UNH, speedy QB who can hurt you both in the air and on the carpet. All that said, I take Umass 35-21.

Post Game Edit: I greatly underestimated the talent of Kevin Richardson. He strapped the Mountaineers on his back tonight and put the game away in the fourth quarter. The final two drives: 27 plays with 25 of them on the ground. Umass gave up too many yards on first down and Richardson had no problem gaining getting the rest of the yards. Good game, but Appalachian State clearly out played Umass.

15 Hits & 2 Errors From A Benihana Christmas

Tremendous Office last night. I'm not sure exactly where it ranks yet but that has to be somewhere in the top ten I think. Kudos to Harold Ramis and everyone involved. Below are 15 of my favorite moments from last night plus 2 (minor) complaints...

The Highlights

1) Three words...Goodbye My Lover. For my money, the absolute best scene of the night. If that doesn't sum up Michael Scott I don't know what does.

2) The re-introduction of Oscar. Brilliantly done.

3) Michael and Andy's handshake.

4) Michael's "bros before hoes" speech, presented below....


5) Creed stealing from the toy drive.

6) Kevin doing Alanis. Michael and Andy doing Mayer. Kelly doing We Belong. Darrell on the synth.

7) "The Asian Hooters." Especially enjoyed Andy's beverage of choice. "One part egg nog and three parts sake..."

8) Michael marking the arm.

9) Taking holidays away from Stanley...


10) Angela's shirt

11) Angela's "Hello Kitty" line. Very underrated.

12) The Karen/Pam friendship dynamic. Interesting twist from the writers. I liked it.

13) "And circle gets the square..." Good line from Dwight in the opening goose scene. Toby killed me in that scene too. I love the deadpanned lines from him. "We've been over this..."

14) Karen and Pam's party pitch to Meredith. "We've got vodka!"

15) Ski-son's Greetings...


The Quick Complaints

1) Most of the karaoke scenes were outstanding but having Dwight sing Lady for Angela was a poor choice in my opinion. You might not feel that way if you never watched Freaks and Geeks (and shame on you if you haven't...it's one of my top 5 shows of all-time.) but there's a scene in Freaks (see below), involving Lady, that's one of the absolute seminal moments of that show's history. And I feel like there's enough crossover/respect between the writers/producers/actors of Office and Freaks that they should've gone with something else.

Here's the scene from Freaks...


2) No Todd Packer. Because it's always better with Packer....

A Day In The Life...

... of Natalie Portman

Another Tale From The Office

Just had this conversation with a co-worker...

Her: All right, well, I'm gonna run out to CVS quickly.

Me: Cool. I've got to stop there at some point today myself.

Her: It's so addicting isn't it? I swear I can't go in there without spending at least $30. That's like the minimum, isn't it?

Me (not wanting to prolong the conversation) : Uhh...yeah

Me: (in my head) : I couldn't disagree with that more. I don't find CVS to be even remotely addictive. And I almost never spend $30 in there. It's the kind of place I buy a greeting card or shampoo. I'd be surprised to learn that 5% of my receipts from CVS, over the course of my entire life, have been $30 or higher. The fact that you take hour and half lunches on a regular basis is starting to make more and more sense to me.

Throw Back

While I get annoyed with the throwback jersey craze, I guess I understand it. However, what I really think would be great is a throw back company for all sorts of things. If jerseys are such good sellers, lets get some other categories in the mix:

Drink: Boku. Machon and Hadley use to get Boku by the bulk load. I am not sure if they were that good, but I certainly drank a lot of them.
Fast Food: Chicken little's. I don't eat fast food, but if they brought these bad boys back I may consider it again.
Candy: Candy Ciggerettes. Nothing says USA like a 8 year old buying a pack of Lucky's at their local candy store.
Pants: Skids/Vanessa. You had to have these didn't you. Looking back, was it really a great idea to name a pant company Skidz? I guess so because I owned at least 6 pair
Jewerly: Snap Braclets. A Great idea, straight from the production line at Mainway Toys.
Video Game: Leisure Suit Larry. Brought to us by Sierra, we navigated around as Larry trying to take home the bacon, if you know what I mean. The parental control has changed a bit since 1988, in LSL you had to answer three questions. These were pop culture questions usually about the Beatles and Bo Derrick. Needless to say, not your Fort Knox level of security.

Brasky

"Hey, do you fellas know a.. a guy by the name Bill Brasky?!!"


A poster at SoSH reminded me of the force that is Bill Brasky. For those of you that have no clue who he is, leave.

Bill Brasky

Some Highlights:

-The last digit of pi is Brasky.
-He hated Mexicans! And he was half-Mexican! ...And he hated irony!
-Brasky's not allowed to attend the Olympic games because his very aroma is considered a performance enhancing drug!
-We once had a bachelor party for Brasky. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
-Bill Brasky stares at the sun every day until it goes blind. This point in time is called night.
-way....Brasky once wrote a book on how to court a woman. Which was actually just a collection of all his restraining orders.
-The story of Johnny Appleseed is based on Brasky... except for the part about planting apple trees... and not raping men
-Brasky ranked 18th.. in the AP College Football Poll..

It could go on for days.

"..To Bill Brasky"



One of the Brasky SNL transcripts

Morning Decisions

Pancakes or Eggs? Sausage or Bacon? Home fries or Hashbrowns? Toast or Bagel? OJ or Chocolate Milk? Grits or ... no Grits? Breakfast unlike any other meal can be a very binomial process, unless you go the Lumberjack route and take them all, which I highly endorse. Hadley and I were talking about breakfast the other day and wondering how it adopted its time slot. You don't see pancakes and eggs on dinner menus and if you want to enjoy them at night someone will make sure you know that it is complete anarchy. I am for breakfast at anytime for a few reasons. For one, it is very cheap. The lack of breakfast on dinner menus may be a conspiracy theory from the top. You can only mark up the price of a "farmers daughter" special so much. The supermarket near me recently had a deal where you could buy one carton of eggs and get THREE free. Some people may say there is nothing romantic about breakfast, but that is just absurd. Nothing spells out true romance like two eggs, over easy with a side of hash browns. (Say that in the Gob Bluth voice). Secondly, while there are less options for breakfast overall... I urge someone to find a more verstile food than the egg. Sunny side, over easy, over medium, fried, poached, scrambled, basted, omelettes, fritattas, egg salad, scotch eggs, custard, eggs benedict, shirred eggs, soufffle, baked eggs, french toast*, boiled eggs, quiche and so on. It is the kid chameleon of food for cryin out loud.

So how do you all go through the process of choosing your breakfast? Is it a tough thought process? Are you a lumberjack kind of gal? Do you have a "go to" every time? Here is Machon's selection method:

1. As aforementioned, it is a binomial process for me starting with the heart of the plate; the egg family vs the pancakes/french toast/waffle family.
2. From there I go to sides. Bacon or Sausage. Depending on the place I switch it up. Good sausage can't be beat, but often it is that rubbery mini sausage from the frozen section of Cosco.
3. Home fries with cheese, always. Not a big hashbrown guy
4. Toast w/ Bagel and cream cheese on the side
5. Coffee, OJ, Choc. Milk all see an equal share of playing time

-No other meal offers such a full customization structure as breakfast. I am having pancakes for breakfast today, but more importantly, I am going to have eggs for dinner. Free Breakfast!


*Egg is a crucial part of french toast, and while it may be a reach, I am putting it on the list.

Hanging Red Sox

It is officially Christmas time. So while families everywhere are buying gifts, decorating their house and setting up their trees, we are thinking about those red sox. Not the ones hanging from the mantle stuffed with baseball cards, obnoxious amounts of gum, tic-tacs, Pez, deodorant, gift cards, golf balls and what ever else one may find in their stocking. We are thinking about the Red Sox that just two years ago were untouchable. The Red Sox that everyone gave a 5 year grace period. The Red Sox that would never buy a drink again in this town. The Red Sox that inspired more books than one could read. Remember that? Now people are saying that Theo won with Dukes team (Ortiz, Schilling, Mueller, Roberts, and Foulke say hello) and he has to produce this year or else. Now people are livid about not offering Damon more. I want to talk about those Sox.

Within the last 12 hours Drew and Lugo are officially part of the Club, Jon Lester is returning to Fort Myers cancer free, and Manny is most likely sticking around. That would potentially give the Sox a line up that looks something like:

(numbers from last season/career)

Name OBP OPS+
1. Youks .381/.379 108/107
2. Drew .393/.393 123/133
3. Papi .431/.374 164/135 *increased in both categories every year since 2001
4. Manny .439/.411 168/157 *MVP caliber season last year
5. Lowell .339/.339 106/109
6. Tek .325/.348 85/105 *Teks drop comes right at that age one would expect
7. Lugo .341/.340 94/92 *Could be high up, but a nice OBP at the bottom of the order
8. Pedroia (tiny sample size
9. Coco .317/.329 80/97

-If Wily Mo Pena is in the lineup, you put his .900+ OPS 5th. In that case you sit either Lowell or Coco. I love having a high OBP guy in the two spot and a Youks/Drew combo at the top would give the two headed monster that is Manny/Papi a lot of ducks to drive in. That being said, I bet Tito goes with a Youks, Lugo, Papi, Manny, Drew lineup. Last note on the lineup, a poster over at SoSH makes a point that Manny should bat second. He says this because "very piece of optimal lineup research I've seen suggests that you should bat your best hitter 2nd."

A rotation of:

Schilling

Beckett

(Matsuzka?)

Paps

Clement/Lester

Bullpen:

Wakefield

Timlin

Tavarez

Hansen

Delcarmen

Okajima

Bench

Hinske

Cora

*Paying 2.7M of Renteria's contract as well

The Cost

Without Matsuzaka the Sox have $137M tied up in payroll for next year. If he does sign for 10 per year, they would be $1 million under the cap and going into arbitration with Foulke. They also would be short a back up catcher and another bench player. I am guessing they are going to move someone soon to get back under the tax threshold.

So what contracts do the Sox no longer want to pay?

-Clement at 9.5

-Lowell at 9

-Manny at 18 (looks like he is staying)

-Coco or Wily Mo both at 3.5 (3.5 mill is a lot for 4th man out there)

Machon's Thoughts

-I am excited about the possibility of having the top four batters in the line up crack the .400 OBP mark. It would be very tough, but is not outside the realm of possibility. Lester battled his way through cancer in record time and will be reporting to camp. In my opinion, this is the best news of the off season. Trading Manny would have been nice if they saw a Peavy like player coming back, but only 10 people tops can give you what Manny does at the plate and if Drew has a year like 2004, he is one of them. Now I just hope they get the Matsuzaka deal done.

Things You Might Enjoy

Once again, I apologize for the relative lack of activity here lately. Things should pick up after the holidays but, for the immediate time being, there are some pressing matters which are going to limit our ability to post.

In any event, to fill the void today, here are three things you might enjoy...

1) Glaceau Vitamin Water: A co-worker of mine turned me on to this stuff a few months ago and I've been addicted to it ever since. There's a wide range of flavors so you'll have to tinker with what works for you. My suggestion? Try Forumla 50. That's their grape flavor and it's absolutely top notch. The best way I can describe it (and Machon came up with this...not me) is that it tastes (quite appropriately given the name of our blog) like the liquid part at the end of a grape freeze pop. I love it. Other flavors I endorse include Revive (fruit punch) and Essential (orange...which also tastes like the end of a freeze pop).

2) Papermate Flexgrip Elite Ballpoint Pens: A simple thing, perhaps, but a product that I'm happy to endorse none the less. Why? Well, it works well. I mean, how much can you really say about a pen? It just...it works well. It doesn't make a mess. It has good longevity. I've gone through my fair share of pens and most of them sucked but this one doesn't. If you're unhappy with your current writing impliments give the Flexgrip Elite a shot. I think you'll like it.

3) Ben Folds Video for "Learn To Live With What You Are": Featuring full pirate garb and bike theft....

Boom

Sometimes, going into the weekend, you just need to pass it to the man....

Airborne

Go out and rent it now. This movie is off the "unintentional humor" charts. It came out in 1993 and is full of Cool Blades, Plaid Shirts, and an unknown Jack Black. Legendary material like; deciding in the middle of a hockey game that the first one to three wins, organized skating battles down the "devil's backbone" against the prepies (I'm not entirely sure if that is the name of the school, or the actual social class), and grade A hazing from dirt in the locker to stealing clothes while someone is in the shower. Just classically cheesy stuff.


Nikki: So, if you could have lunch with any three people in the entire world - alive, dead, fictitious, I don't care. Who would it be?
Mitchell Goosen: What kind of question is that?
Nikki: A fun one, c'mon.
Mitchell Goosen: Well, I'd have to say Tom Curren; greatest surfer in the world, now that would be cool. And, um, maybe Ghandi. Not for lunch though, he wouldn't eat lunch.
Nikki: And the third one?
Mitchell Goosen: I'd have to say you.
Nikki: Me? You can have lunch with anyone in the world, and you would choose me.
Mitchell Goosen: You're not just anyone. You're special.

Write that one down fella's, it's gold.

Screw You, Starburst

If I may, please allow me to provide some evidence towards something of which I've long been suspicious; namely, Starburst is intentionally screwing people over by giving them more oranges and yellows (widely known to be inferior flavors) than reds and pinks. I just bought a $1.99 bag of Starbursts on my lunch break and the breakdown of fruit chews in said bag is as follows:

16 Orange
13 Yellow
7 Pink
6 Red

What kind of garbage is that?

Top 40 Concerts in Boston History

First of all, I'd like to apologize for the lack of activity here in Freeze Pop Land for the last few days. The three contributors to this space have, unfortunately, been very busy lately. In any event, here's an interesting link someone sent me recently to a Boston Phoenix feature on the 40 greatest concerts in Boston history:

http://www.thephoenix.com/article_ektid25497.aspx

Lot of shows I wish I could've seen in there. Dylan at Harvard Square. The Dead at UMass. J. Geils and Tom Petty on the Cape. Not too shabby. And I was only vaguely aware of the circumstances surrounding their #1 pick so that was interesting to read as well.

Another Tale From The Office

Recently overheard snippet of conversation between two middle-aged white guys from my office…

Man #1: “OK, that sounds good. I’m happy with that. Or, as Will Smith would say, I am jiggy with it.”

Man #2: (Heartily laughing) “Ha ha ha!”

#1: “One of my favorite lines from one of my favorite actors. He’s so funny.”

#2: “Yes, he is.”

#1: “You know what other line I like? When he says, ‘the difference between you and I is that I make this look gooood.”

#2: “Yup.”

#1: “…and he does.”

Nothing On TV?

I just stumbled across a great thing that is only getting better. Peak TV shows full length television shows on their site. It is constantly growing and more videos are submitted every day. They have a ton of shows, but here are some of Machon's favorites:

24 (102 episodes)
Arrested Development (9 episodes)
Band of Brothers (22 episodes)
Heroes (every episode)
Lost (53 episodes)
Seinfeld (98 episodes)
Weeds (16 episodes)
The Wonder Years (33 episodes)

In addition to television shows the have movies, stand up, cartoons, anime, asian drama & movies, and the 2006 World Cup.


PEAK TV

Great Album Covers

A look at two of the better, more thoughtful album covers. One that capture the essence of teamwork, cooperation, balance, and trust. And another that shows us how electric an image can be:

The Playmates: at play with The Playmates

1. That is illegal. There is a 80% chance the penguin looking fellow on the back is going ass over tea kettle as soon as they hit 15 mph.

2. The guy driving the vespa certainly looks like he was dragged into this idea. He looks repulsed, scared, unsure, and kind of curious at the same time. I just spent 15 minutes in front of the mirror trying to replicate it, (the face, not the 3 man sandwich) and I can't do it.

3. The meat of the sandwich loves it. This is blatantly his concept. Look at his smirk and the eye brow twitch, he can barely contain himself. I wonder if he asked to be in the middle or it was the obvious position for him.


3a. Is it me, or does he look like the guy from MAD magazine.

3b. He really is putting a nice bear hug on the hopeless driver. He has his left hand wrapped firmly around his right wrist. If Sly Stallone could have adopted that hold in Cliffhanger, Hal Tucker would be spending the holidays with his girlfriend

Devastatin' Dave: Zip Zap Rap

1. The Turntable Slave? Was that really your best option? Besides the obvious cultural problems, it doesn't make any sense. Why would you want to be the turntable's slave? I always thought that a DJ was in total control over the turntable, thus being able to make records do things it would never do on its own.
2. Take an extra close look at those glasses. Pink rims, awesome stuff.
3. How many people still go with the one earring routine? I remember kids use to rock that look way back when, but I am hoping that left with Jellies and parachute pants.
4. I am not sure how to attack his clothing choices. I do know that it must take him 20 minutes to take off those pants.
5. Speaking of pants, is it necessary to put the second Zap there? What are you trying to say Dave?
6. Why is he giving us the double point? I don't want any part of what Dave is offering.

Bonus: Dave is still around. You can find some of his work here. Do yourself a favor and listen to "Westside Bronx". I have listened to it 5 times and have no idea why the hell it is called "Westside Bronx".

Here is some info on the man himself:
Basic Info
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Status: In A Relationship
Orientation: Straight
Religion: Christian - other
Zodiac: Pisces
Hometown: Los Angeles, California
Schools: John Muir/Laney College
Occupation: Jack of all trades.
Company: 2000 Devastating Records Unl.
Personal Info
Interests: Travel, Music, Spiritual things, UFO's.
Favorite Music: Funk
Favorite Movies: Batman, Bad Boys, Catwoman, Training Day, or anything with any of those actors/tresses in it.
Favorite TV: Fresh Prince of Belair
Favorite Book: The King James version of The Holy Bible
Favorite Drink: Koolaid, Beer, Alabama Slama, Scooby Snacks, Bailey's Irish Coffee, cognac.
Favorite Color: Green, Black, Blue, Red.
Favorite Quote: It ain't ova till the fat lady sings!

Few notes.
--You can't have four favorite colors pal, chose one and get on with it.
--His favorite book is The King James version of the Bible? Someone has to add him to the KJ's wiki page, along side Milton and Wordsworth.
--Occupation: Jack of all Trades. For some reason I am having trouble accepting that.
--If anyone can find a better list of favorite drinks, I will drop my pants and run around downtown Boston. Seriously, look at that...
--I wonder what type of spiritual things dave is talking about? All of them?
-- So Dave likes every movie that any of the actors from Batman, Bad Boys, Catwoman and Training Day have ever been in? That is a shit load of movies.

A Very Swayze Thanksgiving

Who doesn't wonder what his holidays are like? I spend hours thinking about it....

* Think your family gatherings are crazy? Try spending a day with Patrick Swayze. The "Dirty Dancing" star dished to Allure: "Usually in the Swayze family, Thanksgiving is an opportunity to bring up the past and have big, big fights."

Road House-style fights, baby....

http://www.nypost.com/seven/11232006/gossip/pagesix/pagesix.htm

Some Suggestions For The Boston Bruins Pro Shop

As lifelong Bruins, Hadley and I have talked about this on several occasions...the Bruins pro shop (whether we're talking about the physical store in North Station or the online store) really needs to start stepping up its game. As we speak the only two player-specific t-shirts I can find online are for Zdeno Chara and Brian Leetch. That's a problem. You want to buy an authentic Neely jersey? Good luck. The shop basically stocks Ray Bourque jerseys and....that's it. Well, that's bunk. So here are some suggestions to get things moving in the right direction...

1)Allow personalization on the jerseys for full price but give me a stable of 15-20 at all times for a slight discount. I love Ray Bourque but I don't want to see a sea of 77's when I go to a game. Let's spread it out among guys like this...

Big Bad Bruins Era
Orr
Esposito
Bucyk
Sanderson
Cashman
Cheevers

Lunchpail Athletic Club Era
O'Reilly
Park
Middleton
Jonathan
Wensink

The 80's
Bourque
Neely
Linesman
Janney
Peeters
Lemelin
Moog
Kasper
Pederson

Something like that. Maybe have a wild card every month on sale. Like a Doug Keans jersey. Or a Charlie Simmer. Or Nevin Markwart. It would be infinitely cooler to see those jerseys around town than what I'm seeing right now.

2)I left current players out of the jersey discussion but I'll mention them here now in talking about t-shirts. Can someone explain to me why they don't sell a Bergeron t-shirt right now? Or a Kessel shirt? I mean, let's get on that. Bergeron, Kessel and Chara are basically your three marketable guys at this point. Market them.

3)Give me some DVDs. The DVD section of the online store doesn't haven't a single Bruins-specific product in it at the moment. Let's get the best of Bobby Orr on disc. Let's get Neely highlights on disc. Best fights. A DVD full of overtime goals. A 1970/1972 playoff box set. Something.

4)Finally, I don't care how long it takes you to find it or how much money has to be sunk into the project but somebody down there needs to track down "Who Dey Bruins" by Zip Rzeppa on vinyl and get that onto a CD pronto. I think I'd pay $50 for it at this point. For those of you that aren't familiar with Who Dey Bruins, it was a novelty (obviously) 45 that was produced for the '84 season and features lyrics like this (from memory)...

From the old historic Garden
Comes that black and gold machine
They're the mighty Boston Bruins
The finest in the league

They skate and move and pass and shoot
And always come to play
That tough aggressive, checking hockey
'Cause there is no better way

Chorus:
Who dey?
Who dey?
Who dey think gonna beat them Bruins?
Who dey?
Who dey?
Who dey think gonna beat them Bruins?

We've got Pederson and Middleton
For nifty moves each night
And the Crowders and MacTavish
Who know how to light the light

There's Luc and Krushelnyski
And Tom Fergus who can score
And McNabb and Stevie Kasper
And Dave Silk from down the shore

Nevin Markwart makes opponents
wonder how he got the puck
Captain Terry O. just lets 'em know
Today they're out of luck

You get the idea. You see, THAT is the kind of thing they should be selling.

Morneau's Parents Are Pissed

From: Boston.com Newsletters [mailto:newsletters@boston.com]
Sent: Tuesday, November 21, 2006 2:31 PM
Re: Breaking Sports Alert: Mauer wins AL MVP

If the player isn't on the Sox or the Yanks, the Globe thinks they all look the same. Is that considered racist? This whole Kramer thing has me confused.

Rockin' Manhattan

So, as you know if you've been regularly following the action here at 10 Cent Freeze Pops, Hadley and I were at the Hammerstein Ballroom last night for the Ben Folds show. Personally, this was my second time seeing him live. The first time was last year at Radio City. On that occasion, Folds was his usual brilliant self but the large-room atmosphere and building-imposed curfew (to say nothing of the Pats getting corked at home by Indy on the same night) conspired against him. No such problems for this go-around. This time was just absolutely tremendous.

Some of the highlights...

-The set list was phenomenal. Ben played his staples from recent shows (like Trusted, Cooler, Gone, Learn To Live, Bitches, Army, etc, etc...) but he also threw in some great wild cards (like Still Fighting It, Boxing, Last Polka, Losing Lisa, Best Imitation & One Down).

-The atmosphere in the Ballroom was excellent. There were plenty of cameras in the crowd so I'm hoping some bootleg footage starts showing up on Youtube soon. (The cameras are kind of a mixed blessing by the way...very cool to get that footage when it pops up but a bit obnoxious to have so many people taking pictures and vids all night.) The audience participation on Army and Not The Same was top notch. But it was there all night.

-"Did Dr. Dre really write this song?" Actual quote, overheard by Hadley, from a girl standing behind us in reaction to Bitches Ain't Shit. Yes, Virginia. He really did.

-Watching Folds work the piano (plus the synth and a maraca) from close range. We were about 8-deep right behind him so we had a great view all night. On songs like Dr. Pyser and All U Can Eat he was going crazy at the end. And on a song like Narcolepsy, where he goes from banging the crap out of the piano with his elbow to playing beautiful little classical-feeling parts without breaking stride, you really get a full appreciation for his talent.

Overall, definitely one of the most enjoyable shows I've seen. About the only criticism I can think of was that it ended somewhat abruptly with just one encore. I would've been happy to stay for more. But other than that, it was great.

HADLEY'S TAKE:

I wholeheartedly endorse this review....some other highlights:

-a group of 14 year olds having an ecstatic time fueled, well, by ecstasy. This included a group nap between Corn Mo's opening set and Ben's set.

- Corn Mo was extremely interesting. Best way to describe him without seeing him is he's a very talented, full band version of Tenacious D without the direct comedy schtick. Huge vocal presence. Looks like Meat Loaf. Really interesting. I like opening acts that push the envelope.

- Clarke and I were in the Top 5% age bracket. I would feel weird if we were seeing Brooke Hogan. But, please, this is a piano-lyricist in his mid 30s who is writing about growing old, his kids, his marriage, his divorce (first marriage), his parting of ways with old friends...good for Ben because he's making cash, but how does that remotely resonate with a high school student? "I got you to thank for this" is a line about a couple who married too soon and found out the hard way, not a prom date gone bad. That works in the cafeteria? I don't get it.

-That being said, there were two guys in our vicinity who were easily 8 years older than us who were there to pick up high school chicks. They were not smooth. It's not like they were even bad looking guys, they just had no game. First of all, they didn't know any of Folds' stuff. That stands out like a sore thumb at a Folds show. Folds fans don't look for the hits and then lay back when lesser known tracks are played. The entire show is generally devoured and the energy level never dips. These guys were just out of their element. It was great.

- My feet are still hurting. GA floor has its benefits, but the pain comes along with it.

- Don't get the Mini Burgers at the Andrews Diner across the street from the Hammerstein.

- I'd see Ben once a month. Not an issue. He's that good. Can't wait to take the girls...just need to wait for Ms. Hadley to decide when it's appropriate to subject them to Bitches Ain't Shit. I say 4 years old is fine.

54

It got tough to watch the Sox this September, only David Ortiz and the presense of the young guys made it enjoyable. It is a shame that Ortiz broke Foxx's record while the team was 12 games back and not in the playoff hunt. Either way, here is a tribute to the big fella:



I really like the sound of a baseball hitting a bat.

Meatloaf's .666 average

It's interesting how the meaning of an average changes drastically depending on what the sample is. Going two for three for a couple of games is fantastic in baseball and most likely impossible to sustain over a season. However, if you are getting two out of every three questions right on your GMATs... not so good. The reason I bring this up is my coworker was singing Meatloaf's "Two out of Three ain't Bad". After thinking about it for a solid hour at work, I decided that Meatloaf is completely full of it. Two out of three is piss poor when talking about love. I guess it depends on the sample size, but even then it is certainly a red flag. If you start dating Meatloaf (which is sort of a red flag in itself) and on the third date he starts dropping the ball, you would probably chalk it up to a bad day. However, if after 100 dates, he has F'ed up 33.3 times, well... I would have to cut the 'loaf loose. Not to steal the lyrical analysis from Clarke, but his faults are very prevalent within the lyrics of the song:

"I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout
But you've been cold to me so long
I'm crying icicles instead of tears"

-Two things. She is probably a bit upset about the fact you shouted till you went hoarse. That is not your typical, quick tempered fight. Going hoarse involves a prolonged, continuous period of yelling. She has every right to be cold. Secondly, if by some miraculous development, icicles do in fact replace your tears, you should get that checkout immediately. It sounds very painful.

"And all I can do is keep on telling you
I want you
I need you
But there ain't no way
I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad"

-No Meatloaf, you're wrong. In this case, two out of three is not only bad, it's downright appalling. It's a deplorable effort.

"You'll never find your gold on a sandy beach
You'll never drill for oil on a city street
I know you're looking for a ruby
In a mountain of rocks
But there ain't no Coupe de Ville hiding
At the bottom of a Cracker Jack box"

-You really know how to shatter a girl's dreams don't you. However, what type of girl plows through a box of Cracker Jacks hoping for a Caddy? And how many mountains are made of something other than rock? I think you could have taken a page out of the George Costanza manual and gone with the age old, "It's not you... it's me" routine. Furthermore, no city in America is going to let some inexperienced woman start drilling for oil on a street and I would imagine no woman is slotting that in their weekend schedule. Drilling for oil is a dangerous, highly skilled activity that requires ridiculously expensive equipment. If she is really considering this and has the resources to get it done, you should contact the police immediately.


-When I imagine this situation, I would have to guess that the lady walked out half way through this next verse. He starts off the conversation by screaming at her until he loses his voice, which in his profession is suicide. The big guy then demolishes her aspirations and tells here that there is no way he can love her. I would think at this point, she gets the message and letting off the gas for a second would probably be beneficial to her self-esteem. But no, he feels the need go into this:

"There's only one girl that I will ever love
And that was so many years ago
And though I know I'll never get her out of my heart
She never loved me back, ooh I know
I remember how she left me on a stormy night
She kissed me and got out of our bed
And though I pleaded and I begged her
Not to walk out that door
She packed her bags and turned right away"

-Thanks Meatloaf, real f'n cool of you. Why don't you go ahead and tie the noose for me. It's been hard enough with the yelling and the insults. Not to mention that Meatloaf’s holler is not your average scream, but the type that causes seismic activity. I don't want to hear about your lost love, why don't you let go of the past and see what’s right in front of you. Lastly, I have a feeling you are cherry picking your stats here. Nowhere in the context of this song do I see any indication of you getting two out of three things right. Your average is more likely in the class of the 1962 Mets.