10 Cent Freeze Pops

Random Thoughts at the Deadline

2010-08-01T09:51:00.002-04:00

Some quick thoughts coming off the heels of the trading deadline, a great comeback win and Big Papi proving that the third time truly can be a charm:

- Let the Ryan Kalish Era begin. He was raking in AAA and should play almost every day in either Left or Center. I caught the replay of the game, but going two for 4 with a GIDP that was a laser and would have been a hit if Cabrera wasn't holding the runner on is a pretty nice debut. Couldn't be more excited - really pumped to watch this kid. This also will mark the end of the Hermida era - I wish the kid luck; seems like he has the talent, just can't get it together. Theo loves those low risk, high ceiling players, which brings us to...

- The Jarrod Saltalamacchia Era. I have to say, I'm not falling off my chair in excitement as much here as for Kalish - but I understand it. I'll say this, two years ago people were calling Theo to trade Clay for Salty... thank god that didn't happen. The biggest issues right now are twofold: 1/ he is not hitting at AAA and 2/ he has an embarrassing case of the Yips... he can't throw the ball back to the mound; and it is pretty bad - but Theo thinks he can get over them. The low down on McGuinness and Mendez is they are both pretty projectionable players. Mendez is in Lowell and had a whole lot of upside - and he is the reason I don't love this move. He has a lively fastball with movement (95-99) and some nice secondary pitches that will obviously develop through the system. His best is a tight slider in the mid-to-low 80's that breaks very sharp - a great out pitch, but still needs consistency. He's only 19 - so a long road, but could turn into a nice arm as he travels down it. McGuinness is a 6'1 lefty with excellent plate discipline and by all accounts an incredible hard worker, spring coil swing, and above average defense. He hit very well at single A, was about to move up (or maybe he did recently), and from what I can tell there was some excitement in the Sox minor league circles. I think he was slugging over .500 and carrying an on-base over .400 with a bunch of homeruns. That all said, this is a huge buy low scenario around Saltalamacchia. Lots of people think the fact he can't throw the ball to the pitcher is causing a string of problems throughout the rest of his game. The Sox think that the kid has a huge ceiling and have wanted him in the past but the price was always to high - and they believe the change of scenery, and some meetings with Tewksbury may be the first step. We also sent $350k and a PTNL

- Our bullpen is not good, sitting in the basement in nearly all important statistical categories... it just has been a huge hole with the team and they looked for something to patch it up right up through the deadline. But now that the deadline has passed, it seems like the opportunity is going to be given to the kids... Bowden and Doubront. The hope is that one of them can be trusted in the 7th/8th and I think that they are going to be given the chance to succeed or fail over the coming weeks. The exciting part for me is, if one of them does relish in the role, we will have a true home grown back end. It will, hopefully, be fun to watch and with two of them there should be that healthy internal competition that can do nothing but good.

- There is just no market for Mike Lowell, zilch, nada, zip. What a weird, tough, unfortunate situation this has turned into. There were a whole bunch of moves for corner infielder/DH types as we came to the deadline - and Mike had to just sit back and watch. Cantu, Peralta, Tejada, they all found homes - but they all have so much more flexibility and in the end that is where Lowell's value gets the biggest hit. His hips and knees just don't allow him to be a viable option defensively. From the Sox perspective, not much we can do either. There is no room on the major league roster - especially with Ellsbury coming back. He will end up playing more in Pawtucket and will probably be asked to accept the role. Maybe they can move him on waivers - but any way you slice it this is a crappy situation for a class act guy that has done a lot for our club... but his time has passed.

- With 58 games left, we have 10 against the Yanks, 6 against the Rays... the rest are against teams the Red Sox should beat - and I expect them to put up a strong winning percentage in those games. So the season is really going to come down to the 16 games against our two divisional foes. A few bits of good news.
1) They also have a couple more series against each other, and someone has to win, someone has to lose.
2) The first of the 16 games starts 8/6, and the Sox will be close to healthy with Ellsbury probably back. After that, we get Pedey and I think this team is the best of the three. Especially with a healthy Beckett, Lester, Clay and Lackey - finally.

As always, if nothing else - it should be a fun ride. I can't remember the last time we were 7 back at the deadline and I felt so optimistic... such a weird year.

Play it again

2010-07-01T10:10:00.002-04:00

Question:

What album have you listened to more than any other over the course of your life? Now you got to take into account albums from all stages that might have played in your early years... What did your folks listen to, how about your siblings? This is not about what album you listened to most while stoned at Hampshire college... throughout your entire existence.

For me it is incredibly hard to pick the first one and took some time. I instinctively was going to lead with a Stones or Beatles album, because they were played before I had control by my father, then I got into them at an early age, they were played by roommates, at parties, and I still listen to both bands often today. But that doesn't really work within the confines of this question. The fact is, the Beatles and the Stones have SO many good albums, it is impossible for me to select one over the other. I would be lying if I said I listened to Sticky Fingers or Revolver more than Some Girls or Abbey Road or Exile on Main St or the White Album - too much quantity and quality in their catalog. If it was what band - hands down these two. But I digress... After lots of internal debate, I've narrowed it down to three:

1. The Clash - London Calling: One of the few albums that I have gone through several non-stop listening periods with. Usually, I fall for an album and listen non stop for, say, a couple weeks. Then there are albums like the others on this list that are in an ongoing rotation every few weeks or months. London Calling is the only album I have rediscovered over and over again. In high school, when I was introduced to the Clash - I spent months with it and the songs on this record taught me a lot about the width and breadth of music - something that changed my perspective forever. Then, a few years later while at Fordham, and primarily because of my roommates - it came back out with full fury. Months of listening to it, non-stop. This time I had some very different interpretations of the album and the songs. If my first go around taught me a lot about musical styles and variations - this time it represented more of state of mind, it opened up some pretty different world viewpoints, and on many - let's go with - un-sober nights, it was the backdrop to some pretty aggressive discussions. This was new to me, and this album represented a catalyst of sorts. And then, recently, maybe 2 years ago when I was commuting from the city every day.... Jimmy Jazz came on shuffle all, something that was a constant occurrence (not Jimmy Jazz specifically, but Clash songs playing) - but this time I decided to shut off shuffle all and play it the whole way through... that lasted for over a week, 2+ hours of commuting each way, by myself. I hadn't really spent time with it - a prolonged time of countless relistens in nearly a decade and, once again - it felt new. And that is what is so great about music - it bites you over and over again, but leaves different teeth marks as time goes on. As we grow, as our experiences change us, music changes as well. Not the chords or lyrics, but the way we interpret them.

2. Tribe - Low End Theory: Anyone who knows me half well could have guessed this would have made the list. But the truth is, I spent a lot of time debating between this and Beats, Rhymes, and Life. At the end of the day, Low End Theory was my introduction to Tribe and that first encounter led to a life time obsession. That said, if it were not for Beats, Rhymes, and Life - this would be standing alone by itself. I guess I could say that for the Beatles and the Stones, but they made so many albums that took time away from each other. In this scenario, if Beats Rhymes Life and Low End Theory were 1 album or one of them were never produced, the other would be an easy shoe in. I honestly don't have a witty way to describe how much I listened have listened to these albums, but they were the first CD's I ever wore out from just listening. And because B,R,L wouldn't have happened without Low End Theory, and because Low End Theory popped my Tribe cherry - it edged out. And I love Midnight Marauders, People's Instinctive Travels and the Love Movement... but they never came close to these two.

3.Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot: My only true post high school album to appear on the list. Discovered Wilco in 2001 while at Fordham... and they have been my favorite band since. Quick aside - by far the best thing about college is the social education, of course - but it is not the going out, building people skills, learning to socialize, figuring out how to tap a keg, etc. that I am most thankful for - it is the exposure to so many different things. That is why I am so glad I went to Fordham and Umass, Boarding school and Public school, lived in several states, etc. Each place had that many more people and cultures, with different music, movie, food tastes. I've been fortunate to experience a very wide variety as well and when I visit my hometown and catch up with high school pals that never left - the one thing that strikes me is how limited they are. And I suppose that is one way to live - I'll just say that I'd never give up a chance to be put into a new and uncomfortable environment. You can't grow and learn in a fixed routine. Anyway, Since 2001 Wilco has been my favorite band - I have seen more Wilco concerts than any other band, this record is usually sitting on the record player when I get home, it is constantly in the mix.

There are a slew of ones that come close: Pet Sounds, Paul’s Boutique 36 Chambers, Revolver, Sticky Fingers, Nirvana Unplugged, Appetite for Destruction, Illmatic, Ten, 3 Feet and Rising, shit - there is a chance I listened to Under The Table and Dreaming 200 times between 97-2001.n But these three rise above

I also like to think about what will be on the list 25 years from now? Will these three all stay on? Will I add to this or will one be replaced? I will tell you one thing, this list and these albums are the reason I constantly seek out new music... because those moments when an album really hits you and really sticks and causes you to forget that any other music exists for an extended period of time - those moments are pretty damn special.

Random Sox Thoughts...

2010-06-30T09:30:00.002-04:00

And the Red Sox keep on winning. It really is impressive and, at this point, teetering on the edge of insanity. To come back from 8.5 games in a month is hard enough, but to keep winning at that clip with this many injuries is amazing to watch.

A couple of miscellaneous thoughts that have been kicking around the old noggin

1) Who in the hell would have predicted that heading into 4th of July weekend, the Major League 25 man roster would be littered with the likes of:
-- Gustavo Molina
-- Angel Sanchez
-- Eric Patterson
-- Darnell McDonald
-- Daniel Nava
-- and Bill Hall
That in itself is insane. But if on April 15th, I told you that was going to be true – even less people would have believed the Red Sox would have the second best record in all of baseball with 47 wins.

2) Lackey is an odd pitcher, isn’t he? And not just the double chin, unathletic build. It is the way he pitches. He doesn't dazzle, he never dominates, and he rarely leaves jaws dropped. He has a 4.46 ERA, he has only struck out 56 batters, while walking 39 for a K/BB ration of 1.43 (Lester’s is 2.71). But what he does do – and does very well is win f’n baseball games. It is really impressive actually how he can pitch just good enough to come out of a start with a W. With an ERA+ of just 95, he is strutting around with a record of 9-3 heading into the All Star break. That is the same record as Jon Lester who has an ERA+ of 155 and just one win shy of Clay's team leading 10 wins AL leading ERA+ of 182. Clay Buchholz deserves an entire post on his season so far. I expected a nice jump, hoped for a big jump, but right now he is performing at a level only matched by some guy in Colorado, Florida and Philly – and those 3 throw to pitchers every day. When he pulled up short grabbing the back of his knee, New England gasped – and when he came out of the game, we worried… and that was the first no-decision Clay has had all year. But back to Lackey – only 8 other players have 9 wins in the AL – and the second lowest ERA+ is CC Sabathia… which is still 20 points higher than our double chinned friend. But the craziest part is that his best pitching has come in no-decisions. He has had 4 no decisions, all four have been lost by the bullpen in either the 9th or extra innings with the biggest gut punch being his start against the Yankees on June 6th - his best outing of the year - where Paps gave up 2 in the 9th. Paps blew 2 wins for John. Think about THAT... he should be tied with David Price for the league lead in wins with 11.

3) It is mind boggling how bad the injury situation is; and of course, that is why we have the likes of Gustavo Molina on the 25 man roster. And while Ellsbury, Cameron, Hermida, Beckett, and Dice K all hurt the past few months or so - Pedey, Vmart and Buchholz missing any time (crossing fingers that Clay doesn't) is pure torture. But, baseball is a funny game. Average guys can do amazing things. One man can win a game with one swing. A pitcher, a bullpen - they are able to carry the torch on days where the offense finds holes in their bats. And at the end of the day, it all comes down to timing. Papi steps up big last night - Lackey does what he needs to do. They capitalize when men are on base, they work counts, Bill Hall drives in some big runs with a nice piece of hitting. Varitek contributes when he is called on… and that dynamic – I think – is unique to this game.

4) With this string of injuries; I find myself thinking back to 2006 and how much easier it is to swallow a rash of injuries to the offense then to pitching. In 2006, only two pitches started more than 30 games (Beckett and Schill) – next in line was Wake with 23. After that, they saw a total of 11 different pitchers start a game for the sox. Lester, Clement, Wells, Kyle Snyder, Jason Johnson (talk about a name to forget - pitched 6 games with an ERA over 7), Lenny Dinardo, Julian Tavarez, Kason Gabbard, David Pauley, Kevin Jarvis, and Devern Hansack. The result? The only time the Red Sox did not win 95 games since Theo took the reins and their worst season in nearly a decade - since 2001 to be exact.

The moral of the story here - if people are going to go down, let it be offensive - because, as I mentioned above, Bill Hall can win you game on any given day. You can win games 1-0 by having strong pitching, good defense and some luck on offense. You can weather the storm with your offensive studs out. But, when Jason Johnson, Kyle Snyder, Lenny Dinardo and Kason Gabbard combine for 26 starts - you know what happens? 8-18 records happen, that's what.

5) Ok, the time has come to say goodbye to interleague play. I’d say it was fun while it lasted, but it wasn’t. It is a debauchery for so many different reasons - but none more than what it does to the schedule. The poor Arizona Diamondbacks interleague opponents have a combined winning percentage of .606 - the Nationals? .303. In the AL, the Red Sox had the toughest interleague schedule with the aggregate winning percentage of opponents at .546. The Rangers are in the bottom with their national league foes winning at a clip of .415. Not to mention - the two leagues play WITH DIFFERENT RULES. When Pete Rose first walked into Fenway for the 1975 World Series - he looked at the Green Monster and just stared - he was mesmerized. He had been playing in the majors for 12 year and was obviously familiar with Fenway Park and that big wall in left. But this was his first time actually looking directly at the 37 foot, 2inch wall - and, in typical Pete Rose fashion – he started to calculate how many more hits he would have had in this park. Interleague play cheapens that moment. It cheapens the World Series. It cheapens the All-Star game - and there is literally no good reason to do it outside of money. (Well, except for that 13-5 record)

Here we are - It is July 1st - the Sox are 47-31, 1 back from the division, 2 up on the Wild Card. It always takes a 90+ degree day or two for it to really start rolling. And now, with that on the board - I get the chills just thinking about the next 4 months.

It is days like these I miss not being in Boston anymore

And like that...

2010-06-19T09:02:00.017-04:00

And like that... for the next few months we have only one team to root for, only one box score to check in the daily rags, and after a whirlwind playoff run - New England wakes up punch drunk, pissed, angry and opens their newspapers (online of course) to see what their hometown ball club has been up to... and they smile - all is right in the world as the red stockings are tied for the most wins in all of baseball and back only one game in the loss column for first place in the 2010 AL east, which might go down as the best division of all time.

But the road to this point came not without its bumps..

For starters, less than one month ago - on May 23rd, the Red Sox were 8.5 games behind the Rays. Quickly the season was beginning to slide away. They needed a bat, their supposedly great defense went all swiss cheese on us, and in between them and the Rays there our hated pin-stripped rival acted as a road block; who on May 17th where a full 6.5 games up in the wild card. Things were dire, outlook was bleak, and everyone from Sully from Southy to that Curly Haired Boyfriend Dan Shaughnessy to the prick Dirt Dog to the entire talk radio universe - they all were ready to quit. And, they probably thought that they had their reasons...

... except they play 162 for a bigger reason:

Since May 17th, the ole own team has gone 22-8, the Rays have started to play like the team they actually are, the Yanks played at a solid pace - but just not solid enough (16-13)... and just like that; 1 game back. Bam. Best division in baseball, maybe - when its all said and done - the best divisional race of all time. And while we have more than half the season to go - you know what, I like our odds... and either way I'll love our journey.

So what happened on those lost nights where the Boston faithful watched large men dawning green and white charge to a 7th game disappointment? How the hell did they turn this shit show around so drastically, so fast, and relatively quietly. Well, lets take a quick gander:

What happens when a team who is ranked 3rd in the league in runs scored all of a sudden adds one of the best power bats to the line up? Well, they rocket to the most runs scored in the league by a healthy margin is what happens. The Red Sox are far and away the best offensive team in baseball right now - having scored 383 runs to date. Next best... The Yankees with 367, then the Rays at 350, then the Rangers at 348, then nobody else for a while. And they didn't need to go out and trade Clay or Kelly or Kalish to get this bat... they just needed two things; trust and patience. And hats off to Tito and Theo and who ever else was involved in sticking with the Large Father while everyone from Maine to Methuen was calling for his head. Bench him, play Lowell, send him to Minors... a lesser team, a lesser organization may have obliged under pressure - but that is why this is not a lesser team. That is why they have made the playoffs 7 out of 8 years. That is why they win 95 games a season. They stuck with him and he rewarded them mightly.

April/March: .148/.238/.286 1 hr 4 rbi 5 r

May: .363/.425/.788 10 hr 27 rbi 16 r

June .259/.427/.552 4 hr 14 rbi 15 r

And the league has noticed, as they are no longer attacking Papi. He was only walked 4 times in March and April as pitchers smiled as he approached the batters box - a reversal of roles which probably hurt me more than the lowly batting line. But then those smiles turned down a bit and they walked him 10 times in May. And my god - did he crush the ball in may. His may, this year, will go down as one of the best months of hitting in the history of baseball. And like that, the smiles were wiped off of their face holes and they now were emotionless again, nervous, and yes - filled with fear. And as Papi now glides to the plate with the excited grin of a Little Leaguer who hit his growth spurt early, they have already walked him 16 times in June. He was always best when pitchers were fearing him... and jesus he is certainly at his best. Those May numbers are of course unsustainable, and he was getting a lot of pitches to hit as people thought he was done and challenged him. Not anymore, the average will drop - but that OBP is still a pretty thing to look at and when they do make a mistake he will smash it. One more quick point - a lot of us don't remember this, but pre-steroids... nobody just hit all the time. The game was lived on streaks, some stretches of greatness, some stretches of slumps, but most of the time it fell in the middle. I think we will see more and more of this trend moving forward. Steroids, more than anything else, allowed players to heal faster, play through injury, and remain confident - those are three of the biggest slump factors.

But what is even more amazing is the team has surged ahead with several injuries. Josh Beckett, Mike Cameron, Jacoby Ellsbury, Dice - K have all spent time on the DL - some nearly the entire season. Their replacements, men named Bill Hall and Darnell McDonald, guys who had no shot to make their high school team, college team, independent league, minor league baseball, or the big show like Daniel Nava (we touched on his story a while back and by now its known on a national scale - but even still... as he is raking at the pro-level, people are still saying he is just a fill in, he can't keep it up, Hermida has more upside, he will be on the Pawtucket shuttle when Ellsbury is back, etc. and he just keeps hitting. And if the Erin Andrews story gets any bigger she will be banging him by tuesday for more headlines, she loves herself a headline). Even the elderly statesmen, Tek and Lowell, with their broken backs, shotty knees and plastic hips have contributed when called upon.

And of course, there is the defense. A topic of debate here on the report for a few weeks was how could Theo focus so much on the defense and miss so badly. Well, a mix of some bad bounces, small sample size, getting used to fenway, cold weather, bad luck, horrible pitching and a tough schedule was the reason. They have rocketed up to become a top defensive with a team UZR over 6. Their two best players have been JD Drew and Adrian Beltre. Scutaro has been playing really well, Pedroia is his normal nastiness at 2nd base. The team who couldn't throw a runner out, who was run on relentlessly like the Kansas City Chiefs has turned into one of the least run on teams in the league. Again, not by free agency, not by bringing up some minor leaguer whose bat would be a hole in the line up... but by good coaching, making adjustments on both the pitchers and catchers end and fucking hard ass work.

But we expected great defense out of Beltre - that is why we got him for this "bridge" season. The issue was, at what cost is great defense worth blocking a prominent hitters position like third base. I argued that it depends on the make up of the team, how good the starting pitching could be, how many ground balls they induce, and ultimately how many runs it could save... and for the Red Sox - it was very important.. more so then having a good bat who couldn't play any defense (see Mike Lowell). So I was fine with it... and all of a sudden he is playing like 04 Beltre. an OPS over 9, and average - that will come down - over .330. His 48 rbis and 87 hits also lead the team. The most interesting tidbit about Beltre is his hot/cold splits. And by hot and cold I mean the temperature outside. So far this year, when it is below 69 degrees - he is batting .279, an OBP of .320 and slugging .353 in 140 plate appearances. When it is warmer than 69? .404/.429/.728 in 114 PAs. And guess what, it is only getting warmer. He has been absolutely terrific and would probably be considered the best all around player on the team so far (his stellar defense coupled with fantastic offensive output) except for one not so small, goatee'd, aggressive bald thing...

...Kevin Youkilis is an animal. He not only leads the team in OPS+ with 167, he is 23 points ahead of the next guy. He is, without a doubt, one of the best 5 players in all of baseball and so far only 3 have been better with the bat.

1) Justin Morneau who, with his bat alone, has been worth 2.7 WINS this year for his team. The man has an on base percentage of .446

2) Miggy Cabrera who his crushing the ball to a tune of a .645 slugging percentage (.35 points higher than the next guy).

3) Robbie Cano - who happens to be that next guy with a .610 slugging percentage and 2.5 wins in his swing so far

Then its Youks. Youks crazy stance and rugged swing has given the red sox 2.4 wins by itself. After these four players, there is a pretty significant drop off, with Hamilton, Konerko, Longoria all around 1.7 wins.

In 2008 when Youks made a significant offensive jump - especially from a power perspective (a .100 point increase in ISO*), every sabermatrician out there developed theories and reasons why it was an outlier, why he would regress. His HR barely made it out of the park, his BABIP is high, and so on. But the next year he didn't regress, his BABIP stayed the same, as did his ISO - although he did strike out more and walk less. Then this year, he has fixed those two components of his game. He is striking out less (16% of the time vs 25% last year), he is walking more (16% vs 13%), and his ISO have taken another leap (from .250 to .275). And now, we realize, he is just doing what Kevin Youkilis has done every year since he became a full time player at the late age of 27 - he is getting better and better and better.

The pitching staff, well - we have had our share of injuries, lots of them, but with John Lester as the ace - great work from Clay, strong enough outings from the double chinned Lackey, some surprise starts by Wake, help from Dice K when he is not injured, and strong work from the bullpen they have more than held their own. Here is an interesting stat... Only one team, Kansas City, has had more pitchers throw in a game this year with 21. The Red Sox have had 19 different arms appear in games. That usually means one of two things: You're really bad or really hurt. Obviously our situation is with the latter, which makes the success all that more amazing. It also - once again - proves the point you can never have enough pitching. Tampa bay has only had 13 by the way.

We could use some pieces for sure, an extra arm in the bullpen would be the biggest and most pressing issue (but what team in the majors couldn't use another arm in the pen). Bard is blatantly throwing too many innings - to the point where I fully expect his arm to come flying off in a bloody heap causing Joe West to toss him for delaying the game - and I'd love to see them get a good 8th inning guy to take that 7th inning role. But as we roll into Fathers Day weekend, you need to just sit back and smile... don't you? Baseball is funny that way, as fans we live in the moment, we ride the wave of the daily box score, we get emotionally high one night and hung over the next with late inning heroics and follies... and we should, the ride is the best part. It is where the true fans live. But when you step back and look at how seasons have historically unfolded you see that teams go on streaks, they win 8 out of 10 and lose 8 out of 10. And you're never as good as you are during those winning streaks and you're never as bad when the losses pile up.

The saying is you win 60, you lose 60, but it is what you do with the other 60 that really counts. Well, the Sox are 19 games away from their 60 expected wins... and it is only June 19th. You can't ask for much more than that out of a ball club.

Sit back, buckle up and lets get ready for a nice ride. The best times are yet to come - the team has the luxury of taking their sweet ass time with Beckett and Ellsbury and Dice K. Once we get past the all star break and into the long, sweltering summer stretch - we will start to see those guys come back, with no mileage on them. May take a bit to wipe the rust off - but I think the best days are ahead for this team.

* ISO stands for Isolated Power, which is a measure of a hitter's raw power, in terms of extra bases per AB. Its formula is ISO = (2B + (3B*2) + (HR*3)) / AB

Globe Trotting

2009-10-27T23:25:00.008-04:00

Potential new feature here in Freeze Pop land, born from a longtime love affair with the Sunday paper. As I consume more and more of my news online, the Sunday Boston Glove endures as my one tangible newspaper experience. Call me a hopeless romantic but there's still just something different and wonderful for me in the experience of having a newspaper in your hand versus reading articles online.

One of things I really enjoy about flipping through a Sunday paper is the randomness of seeing which stories and sections grab my attention from week to week. Maybe it's an interesting Travel piece. Maybe a book or movie review that sends me straight to my Amazon wish list or Netflix queue. Or maybe it's a long feature in the Ideas or Sports section. It could be almost anything.

That's where this feature comes in. In this space, I want to share the journey through the Sunday paper by presenting my top five list of the most interesting pieces of the week. The rules are simple. There are no limits on what's eligible. Could be a small blurb. Could be three stories in the same section. Whatever's clever. As long it catches my fancy it's fair game. And, on that note, let's dive into a first pass (in no particular order) below.

Clarke's Globe Picks of the Week (10/25/2009)

1) Headline: Coming Around Again
Author: Joan Anderman
Description: Record-contract limbo behind her, Carly Simon revisits her classics and makes new album a family affair

Comments: I'm far from the world's biggest Carly Simon fan. I mean, I've got You're So Vain and Nobody Does It Better on my ipod. Don't get me wrong. I know about the failed marriage to James Taylor. I'm familiar with their son Ben Taylor and his music. That's pretty much where it ends though. That said, I thought there were lots of interesting tidbits in this piece about her re-packaged greatest hits project.

You learn about her Starbucks contract and how that deal fell apart. Then there's the whole dynamic of her relationship with her son which is kind of fascinating. You can tell he adores her on the one hand but that they have this kind of weird working relationship too. There's the lingering enmity with her famous ex-husband. There's hope that this project is going to be commercially successful despite what seems like a lot of mixed feelings over doing it in the first place. After reading this story I could easily see myself buying into a book or a movie based on Carly, JT and the kids. There's more material there than I would have thought.

http://www.boston.com/ae/music/articles/2009/10/25/carly_simon_revisits_her_classics_on_a_new_album/

2) Headline: Islam's Darwin Problem
Author: Drake Bennett
Description: In the Muslim world, creationism is on the rise

Comments: See, here's why I enjoy the randomness of the Sunday Globe. We go from a story about Carly Simon to a feature about the rise of creationism in the Muslim world. I love it. And I highly, highly recommend this piece if you can find the time. It's fantastic. I think you might be surprised how many people (even in the US) do not support the theory of evolution. Some of the statistics that Bennett provides are pretty eye-opening. The stuff in here about Adnan Oktar (Turkish author and vehement creationism-defender) is worth the price of admission alone too. No scientific or religious training? No problem! Blame Darwinism on Freemasons! On the flip side, surprising support for evolutionary theory from a Middle Eastern country you might not expect. Which one? You have to read it yourself...

http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=7015487156350410449&postID=1016265885188321359

3) Headline: Welcome To The Dollhouse
Author: Francie Latour
Description: The line the new black Barbies won't cross

Comments: Well-written piece about the problem with black Barbie dolls. Plenty of valuable historical context. I learned about "Colored Francie" from the 60's and Oreo Fun Barbie from the 90's. The biggest impression that the story made on me though was in regards to the crazy lengths that many black woman go to get straight hair. I don't think I had any concept of the severity of the salon experience described by Latour, what with the burning chemicals and so forth. Yikes.

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2009/10/25/the_line_the_new_black_barbies_wont_cross/?page=1

4) Headline: For Walker, Financial Fouls Mount
Author: Shira Springer
Description: Former Celtics star pursued by creditors as free-spending lifestyle drains his wealth

Comments: Poor Antoine. Nothing in this story really surprised me. "Young person is given boatloads of money and doesn't handle it well," is a tale we've all heard by now. But the details are still pretty depressing. And, granted, it's hard to feel sorry for someone that was paid over $100 million to play basketball. But when you balance the craziness of playing $15,000 hands of blackjack with Michael Jordan and $1,800 dinners against taking care of about 75 people (especially his mother) to the point where you're giving five people authorization to just use your credit cards as they see fit, you do have to have a touch of remorse for the guy.

http://www.boston.com/sports/basketball/celtics/articles/2009/10/25/former_celtics_star_antoine_walker_pursued_by_creditors_as_wealth_vanishes/?page=3

5) Headline: What You Hear Is Not A Chorus
Author: Matthew Guerrieri
Description: The truly original thing about "Rapper's Delight"

Comments: Now here's an easy sell. You give me an article about Wonder Mike, Big Bank Hank and Master Gee's signature hit and I'm in. This story, in particular, is about the uniqueness of a song with no chorus. Guerrieri describes the phenomenon in Rapper's Delight thusly, "Like the balladic verses of the blues, or the improvisatory excursions of long-form jazz, the song is less interested in how loud it can rev its engine than in how long it can keep it running." Well said, sir. Well said. I like a good chorus as much as the next guy but who says that every song needs one? Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go fire up some Sugarhill and ease into the afternoon. Happy reading kiddos.

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2009/10/25/the_truly_original_thing_about_rappers_delight/?page=2

Music Finds You

2009-10-22T07:10:00.003-04:00

Well... sort of.

I have been on an absolute barnstorm across the world wide web the past few days loading up on new music. It has been one of the most successful new music missions I have ever had - and like all things, it came with a clear strategy. A strategy that I want to share.

It started with the great website Hype Machine, which aggregates music from the top blogs around the world in one place. You can listen to them all like it were a long running playlist, which is the first step. I listened and when something struck my fancy, I jumped to the blog and began the second part of the search. I spent some time on this persons blog to feel out their musical taste - was it one dimensional, did they have a wide variety of styles that I enjoyed, how did they write about the songs and artists they were offering for download.

I did this exercise for about two weeks and came away with 12 or so blogs that just killed it. These sites offer fans the ability to download tunes - so download I did. I must have added 200+ songs to iTunes over the two week span... didn't try to decide if they were worthy of a long-standing position yet - that came in phase 3.

Once all the songs were on my iPod - the switch shifted towards my commute and Wednesday wedding planning which I have dubbed "new music and new memories". Which now makes wedding planning time, also the time where I find new music and both of us are all geared up (for different reasons) - just brilliant stuff. So the system at this point is pretty simple. There are three grades I give each song which allows me to circle back and finish my new music quest afterwards (this method is straight from the Hadley handbook by the way). As for the ratings, each grade is assigned one of the ratings star on iTunes/iPods

- If the song doesn't resonate, doesn't seem like something that will get plays - but instead a constant skip over - it gets one star

- If the song is good, a song that may grow on me, a song that might just be great one day - it gets two stars

- And finally if the song comes off like an instant classic, something that just clicks from the get go - it lands three stars

At the end of the day, I go back and sort by rating on iTunes. Erase all the 1 star songs, keep all the 2 start songs, and immediately do two things with the 3 star songs: 1/ make a mix tape to share the new music with people and 2/ begin to download more stuff from each band

It's that easy... and nothing is more refreshing than finding a boat load of bands to discover... because let's face it - discovery is the best part.

And just in case you want to check out some of the new groups I have dug up:

-The Vaselines (not new, actually most famous for Nirvana covering - but new to me and great)

-Cymbals Eat Guitars

-Camille Yarbrough (old r&b/mo-town/funk - "Take Yo Praise" has been covered a few times)

-Alex Bleeker and the Freaks

-Ducktails

-Fluffy Lumbers

-Digits

-The Noisettes

-Blind Pilot

-The Drums

-Clare and the Reasons

-Free Energy (song Something in Common)

Happy hunting

CB Buckner Review

2009-10-08T23:57:00.005-04:00

F-

Seriously, the MLB has to do something about the horrible umpires in this league and their method for placing them into the post season. It needs to be based on merit, not tenure.

Awful. God f'n awful. No pressure or accountability to be good at their jobs.

http://www.petitiononline.com/cbbuck/petition.html

Genre Review - Country

2009-10-08T16:50:00.008-04:00

What the hell did Country music ever do to deserve this? I am serious, why do people have an unrelenting hate for Country music? It pisses me off to no end and I want to address 3 points:

1) Country music is as old a form of American music that we got. Developed by blending several styles of music together in South Eastern U.S. at the turn of the last century, it extends into so many different genres of music. It was born from the blues that had been a major part of the same region for quite some time – and it has so much of that in it.

2) The issue is that everyone associates Country music with people like Garth Brooks, John Denver and Kenny Chesney. That is a subset of the genre – closer to “Country Western”, than say some of the more blue-grass banjo fronted Country bands or say – a bluesy Country band… or say, I don’t know – ELVIS F’N PRESLEY. I mean even Ray Charles was considered country soul in the early 60’s. And you know what? Country music led a new genre of music called Country rock in the 1960’s. And some of the early bands playing in this space? The Grateful Dead, Neil Young, The Allman Brothers, The Marshall Tucker Band, The Eagles, and so many more. Country influenced the best bands of all time – throw on Honky Tonk Woman by the stones… seriously do it now Honky Tonk Woman. Great song, rooted in Country. Wilco, Son Volt, Old 97’s and a bunch of other bands spun off with Alternative Country in the early-mid 90’s. The problem is, people think Country Pop and Country Western is the beginning and end of the genre and it pisses me off to no end. And what happens is great musicians are overlooked. Go download “Jackson Station” by The Band of Heathens and tell me that is not a great f’n song.

3) I swear to god I am going to punch the next person that says “I like all music except Country” in the dick. Right in the pecker. Because it is a stupid ass thing to say, even if you really hate all Country music (which you obviously haven’t listened to it all) – you don’t like EVERY other kind of music. When was the last time you dug deep into the Big Band our Latin House genres? Big on Gothic Rock? How about Progressive Trance? Do you have any idea how many genera’s of music there are? I’ll tell you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_popular_music_genres. So please, if you don’t want a punch to your weiner, please don’t say that idiotic sentence ever again. It makes you look stupid.

Some of my favorite bands in the world are Country. Country is a major section of music with a bunch of genres within it. Stop giving it a bad name.

Grade
Country: A
People who say “I like everything buy Country”: F

Traffic Boners

2009-10-07T15:29:00.003-04:00

On the way out, eh? Then how come I see traffic boners by the bushel basket every morning on 128 during my morning commute. I can't drive 2 miles without some hooligan whipping a traffic boner out at me.

Movie Review - King's Ransom

2009-10-07T10:28:00.006-04:00

I remember where I was the day my idol was traded from the most entertaining NHL team of all-time to the Los Angeles Kings. I was 13 years old and my parents were picking me up from SVS Hockey Camp in Rhode Island. It was hot and muggy and I was devastated.

When you're 13 years old there's no way to process how arguably the greatest hockey player in the world can be traded. I mean, why would you do that if you were running a team? You've just won 4 Stanley Cups. He's in the prime of his career. He's Wayne-flipping-Gretzky! You can't trade Wayne Gretzky!

So I was stunned. And confused. I bought a t-shirt of Wayne in that silver and black Kings uniform and wore it with the same pride I had in my authentic blue Oilers jersey with 99 on the back in orange. But it never felt right to me. When the Kings knocked the Oilers out of the '89 playoffs it felt weird. When the Oilers returned the favor the next year and won the Cup, without Wayne, it felt even weirder. And when he broke Gordie Howe's all-time scoring record in the middle of all that, in Edmonton as a King, that may have been the weirdest of all. I could never fully resolve myself to the reality of that trade. Maybe I never will.

Enter King's Ransom...Peter Berg's documentary, the first in ESPN's 30 for 30 series, on that fateful day in 1988 when The Great One was dealt to LA. I think I had last night circled on my calendar from the minute I knew when it was airing. The Red Sox could've been playing Game One of the ALDS last night and I might have skipped three innings just to watch it. That's how excited I was for this project. Excitement justified? Sadly, not quite. Here are my impressions...

-I love Peter Berg for tackling the subject. And I love that you can kind of tell he's just in awe of Wayne throughout the film. I don't love the job that he did with Wayne's interview on the golf course though. I feel like he let him off the hook way too easy in spots.

For example, they talk about how Peter Pocklington and Glen Sather both gave Wayne the option to call off the trade right before the press conference. That's fascinating and something I never knew. Wayne's comments about it are really interesting too. He admits that maybe he should've taken a few days to think about it before saying, essentially, that they're already too far down the path and the deal makes sense so let's go ahead and do it.

I think there's genuine regret in Gretzky over the trade. He talks about leaving a championship-caliber team for one of the worst teams in the league. He estimates they might have won another 4 Cups if he stayed. I think there's a part of him that's completely haunted by the whole thing. But Berg didn't really press him or fully explore that angle. He takes Wayne's ultimate answer of "no regrets" at face value. I'm not sure Jeremy Schapp or Bob Costas buys that. I certainly didn't.

-On a more positive note, kudos to Berg for slipping in two quick clips of my favorite Gretzky goal, his shorthanded OT winner in Game 2 of the '88 Smythe Finals against Calgary. (Shown between :11 and :16 in this video...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3uVSFmSLTY&feature=PlayList&p=A08B30F755CB14FA&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=26) In general, I thought the use of old highlights was choppy and somewhat disorienting. I always appreciate seeing that goal though.

-I definitely did not need all kinds of footage of Wayne standing in an empty Great Western Forum. Way, way overused. The opening scene of him driving up and getting out of the car was cool but everything after that could have been cut.

-Speaking of things that could have, nay SHOULD have, been cut, the worst part of the entire documentary in my opinion were the ridiculous shots that were thrown in of someone skating around in the dark in Oilers and Kings uniforms that was clearly NOT Wayne Gretzky. Why in the world would anyone think that's a good idea? Awful. Just awful.

-That made it into the film for some reason. The biggest lost opportunity, however, was something that wasn't in the movie. And that's any kind of reaction or interviews from Wayne's former teammates in Edmonton. That's a gigantic ommission. How can you not get Kevin Lowe or Paul Coffey or anyone from those teams on the record with their thoughts on the trade? Gretzky famously says, "I promised Mess I wouldn't do this," while crying at the press conference. How do you not cut to Messier after you show that clip to describe his emotions at that moment?

-Lacking Wayne's famous Oilers teammates, at least we get Glen Sather. I was never a huge fan of Slats (especially when he was running the Rangers) but I have to give credit where credit is due. He's great throughout. I love how Pocklington describes him as "pretty pissed off" (I think that's the quote) when he first told him about the Gretzky trade and Sather says in response, "I was more than pissed." You can tell he's still seething over the whole deal. And I loved the part about how he wouldn't have traded Wayne for an entire organization if it were up to him.

-I was very surprised to learn that Wayne did most of the planning for his wedding with Janet. Really Wayne? Wouldn't have guessed that.

-Speaking of Janet...best line of the movie was easily, "...hey Janet! I saw Police Academy 5!" I'm sure she's delighted to have that on her resume.

-I dont know why but I love Walter Gretzky. It looks like he lives in the same house he's lived in for the last 50 years. Canadian flag flying in the front yard. Picking dandelions. Just as soft-spoken as you please. Love it.

-One last criticism...I would've liked much more discussion on the aftermath of the trade. They gloss over it with text that mentions Wayne never winning a Cup in LA, Edmonton winning in '90, Pocklington selling the team, warm-weather expansion and Bruce McNall going to jail. I wish they spent more time on that stuff. Let's get definitive opinions, not just from Wayne and Pocklington, about whether the trade was a success. Let's debate whether that expansion was a good thing for the league or not. I wish they gave more time to those types of questions.

Overall Grade: C (Wish I could go higher but I just can't.)

Facebook Status Reviews

2009-10-05T21:00:00.008-04:00

Ok, so I was going to start by saying sorry. By saying that I apologize if you find this little website and realize I am making fun of your Facebook Status Update. I was going to say no hard feelings - but screw that.

I accepted you as a friend on facebook and now you have to face the fact that your Facebook status is awful and borderline embarrassing. That is what friends do - we tell our friends when we have shit in our teeth, when our zippers down and today, in 2009, we call out people for having lame ass status updates.

So what is my social network up to...

Love Happens

You know what also happens? People take a crap because they ate to many ding dongs and twinkies before dinner... that is what also happens. You know what seperates the two? The later is something that people actually give a shit about

Grade: F

Literally had a headache all day... What the Hell

I literally don't give a shit. That's the hell.

Grade: F

Just got a free copy of The Nest in the mail. There's a magazine for married people??

Yes, there is also magazine for married people cheating on their wife with barn animals. Are you kidding me? You are surprised that there is a magazine for married people? It is a pretty large f'n segment of the world you know... and magazine's are purposely segmented into small niches. Or, just maybe, did you want to let everyone know for the 200th time this month that you are married?

Grade: F

Things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away :)

Okay, so I figured that an actual person didn't sit around and make this shit up for their status update - it had to come from some movie, song, tv show... and sure enough, my friend google lets me know that it is a Sex and the City quote.

Now why does it irk me, well a few reasons:

1/ I know cities change, but what is the point here. Guessing it was part of some sappy "NY isn't like it used to be" that everyone who has ever lived here always says. It was always better a decade before...

2/ People who I love are certainly in my thoughts quite often... I guess I am okay with the heart analogy as well, although from a very scientific perspective I could call bullshit. What pisses me off is the "always" crap. No one is in my heart when I am taking a dump and no one wants to be - no matter how big the love.

3/Very lucky? I think lucky should do just fine... or even just normal. I have lost plenty of people close to me, but there is still a boat load of people I love within a car ride never mind a boarding a damn plane.

All and all, I hate every quote that doesn't make me laugh or remind me of the roller palace in 6th grade

Grade F

Needs new music on her i-pod and is open to suggestions...

First reply to this update: "Buffett".

That is your recommendation on new music for a friends i-pod? While your at it... you should also rent Stand By Me and check out this show Friends. You know what... I don't even hate the status update - I just think people should be accountable for having stupid ass friends.

Grade F

Ya... E's and Sloans marriage will last... No problem

The goddamn show JUST ENDED. 90% of the people I know are watching Sunday Night Football and are going to be catching this on either OnDemand or DVR... Are you kidding me? Why in the dick do you think this is ok? Wake the hell up...

Grade F

Language Review - Irresistibly Irish

2009-10-03T11:40:00.003-04:00

Quick post after a late night realization…

Substitute “”me” with “my” and you will sound like you’re right off the boat from Ireland. I literally spent 2 hours last night cracking my shit up.

Where’s my car – “Where’s me car”

Can someone tie my shoes – “can someone tie me shoes”

Or maybe - I think I have lost me wallet, me keys, me jacket and me dignity… if anyone finds me things, call me cell – I should be in me pajamas at me house with me lady

It doesn't get old

Lyrics Analysis (Funky Cold Medina)

2009-10-01T10:21:00.017-04:00

All right, kids.  Let's jump back into the lyrics analysis game
with a song that's shockingly 20 years old now.  My comments in
red...

Funky Cold Medina - Tone Loc

Alright, dig it (As you wish, sir)

[ VERSE 1 ]
Cold coolin' at a bar, and I'm looking for some action
(Is there a better way to describe hanging out than cold
coolin'? I say no.)  
But like Mike Jagger said, I can't get no satisfaction
The girls are all around, but none of them wanna get with me
My threads are fresh and I'm lookin def, yo, what's up with
L-o-c?
(Questioning yourself in the third person is kind of awesome.)
The girls is all jockin' at the other end of the bar
(Or, as they say in Spain..."Las muchachas son todo el jockin'
en el otro extremo de la barra.  It seems "jockin'" is the same
in any language.) 
Havin' drinks with some no-name chump, when they know that I'm
the star
(The nerve)
So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
(I like that.  Tone's perplexed but he's not in any great hurry.
Just calmly strolls across the cantina.)
I asked the guy, Why you so fly? he said, Funky Cold Medina
(I love that the guy answered so confidently and with no
hesitation. Like some stranger coming up to you in a bar and
asking "why you so fly?" is totally normal and expected.  I'd
like to ask 100 random people "why you so fly?" to see if even
one of them wasn't completely confused.) 

Funky Cold Medina

[ VERSE 2 ]
This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
Put a little Medina in your glass, and the girls'll come real
quick
(In your own glass?  Not in their glasses?)
It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
(It absolutely isn't.  This is like saying a Mercedes is better
than a car. Something can be the best in its class.  It can't
be better than something it is though.  Ketchup can't be better
than any tomato-based condiment.)
A couple of sips of this love potion, and she'll be on your lap
(That's powerful stuff.  A couple sips?)
So I gave some to my dog when he began to beg
(Wait, what?  Why?  Why in the world did you do that?  You gave
some to your dog?  Your dog!?!?)
Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild
thing on my leg
(I'm sorry but you deserve that Tone.  What were you hoping
would happen when you gave your dog Funky Cold Medina?  Again
...it's your dog!)
He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much much meaner
(I bet the Dog Whisperer secretly uses Medina.)
But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold
Medina
(All right, I'm confused.  Do you give the Medina to someone and
it makes them horny?  Or do you drink it yourself and suddenly
you become irresistible?  I mean, the guy at the bar had it in
his glass.  And your dog is getting all kinds of hot poodle ass
from drinking it.  So that implies you drink it yourself.  But
then, you're giving it out to everyone in the rest of the song.
And it only stands to reason that the object of your affection
should be the one drinking it.  Hmmmm. Mysterious stuff, this
Medina.) 

You know what I'm sayin?
(Not really)
I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin' down my door
I got Spuds McKenzie
Alex from Stroh's
(Two celebrity dogs and they both live in your neighborhood?
What are the odds? Love how dated those references are now too.)
They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal
(Oh, we're pals now?  Nice.)

[ VERSE 3 ]
I went up to this girl, she said, Hi, my name is Sheena
(Speaking of odds...what are the odds her name would rhyme with
Medina? Would've been much harder to write this lyric if her
name was Barbara. Or Ruth.) 
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina
(Well, that's an improvement over giving it to your dog. Lucky
lady.)
She said, I'd like a drink, I said, Ehm - ok, I'll go get it
(As a rule, I think it's a good idea to let strangers pick your
drink for you.)
Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she
was with it
(Dope)
So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a
man
(Bahahaha.  Well then. That, indeed, is a big old mess.)
So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer
wiener
(It's kinda not his fault though...just for the record.)
You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold
Medina
(...says a man who earlier in the song gave some of this stuff
to a dog.)

You know, ain't no plans with a man
This is the 80's, and I'm down with the ladies
(Something about the 70's you want to tell us about, Tone?)
Ya know?
(Kinda....I guess)

Break it down

[ VERSE 4 ]
Back in the saddle, lookin for a little affection
I took a shot as a contestant on The Love Connection
(Does anyone have that episode?  I'll pay good money for it.)
The audience voted, and you know they picked a winner
I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner
(That is so, so romantic.  I'm swooning.)
She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin soon what I'll be gettin'
(Wait, a few FCM's?  You only need sips of that stuff, pal.)
Instead she started talkin' 'bout plans for our weddin'
(See, that's what happens.)
I said, Wait, slow down, love, not so fast says, I'll be seein'
ya
That's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold
Medina
(Apparently not)

Ya know what I'm sayin
That Medina's a monster, y'all
(Words to live by.  And we're out...)

Candy Land - Website Reviews

2009-10-01T07:56:00.014-04:00

For a change, not here to rip on why something is bad - instead, applaud a brand for understanding social media and taking a risk. (and then rip on someone for being incredibly bad)

Skittles has completely revamped their website and decided to, in a way, turn it over to the fans.

When you go to www.skittles.com, you are sent through to their facebook page, which has a Skittles branded box in the top left corner that allows you to select different options. Each options bring you to different social sites. Some options to click in the box are:

"Chatter" - brings you to the Twitter Search page looking at what people are saying about Skittles; the good, bad, ugly. Some examples:

Really cool, and of course they could be getting lit up - but they aren't. Because Skittles are the color of the f'n rainbow, taste damn good, and make people inherently happy. A very calculated risk if I ever saw one. We skip the PR bullshit and hear what real life human beings have to say.

"Friends" - brings you right to their facebook page with almost 3.5 million fans. Running promotions, sharing content, active wall, etc. Some brands complain their facebook page doesn't get any traffic. Well chances are your product just isn't relevant and you are not putting any effort into driving folks there.

"Media" - Has all their commercials hosted on their youtube page. No need to skip over these, its up to you to watch them. And their not replacing their television spend, just adding to it.

Now I think this is a great example of how a brand can think outside the box - understanding the depth of the media shift and having a go at something that will drive some buzz.

Meanwhile Hershey's is running a stupid ass and incredibly tired promotion giving away NCAA tickets with literally the lamest copy of the year

"I'm A Big Fan" - really? Who the hell on gods green earth says that repulsive shit? And why do companies still get a huge boner out of any promotion that has user-generated content? Meanwhile they haven't a clue what the hell it means. Listen, we don't care that some schmuck Ohio State fan thinks he or she is "A Big Fan"... and of course its only the Big Ten schools that think this shit matters. Nearly every conference has zero video entries, a couple have 2 or 3, but the Big Ten has 14. And then all the videos are predictably awful, lacking any creativity - how does no one tie in a "hershey squirt" after a big interception or something to prove they are a "Big Fan"... not only does the website and promotion suck, Hershey fans and Big Ten fans suck as well.

So where do I net out... I am going to buy a big ass pack of skittles, cause they taste good and they proved not be stupid, lazy, sheep. Then I am going to video tape a Skittle Squirt and post it on their youtube page.

Grade:
Skittles: A
Hershey: F
Big Ten Fans: D-

Old S.I. Review (April 27, 1987)

2009-09-30T13:39:00.002-04:00

Man, it's been a long time since I did an old S.I. review. Too long in fact. As soon as I came across the site of a triumphant Rob Deer in a box of old magazines this past weekend though, I knew what I had to do. Let's jump right in shall we...

Bobby V. Packing Wood
Strong start to this issue with a picture of Bobby Valentine carrying about 30 Rangers bats in the dugout in an attempt to shake them out of a hitting slump next to the table of contents. Probably didn't work though since the '87 Rangers finished in a last place tie in the old AL West.

1987 Toshiba Laptop Specs
Gotta love this copy from an ad for Toshiba's new laptop computer...

The Toshiba is the most powerful laptop you can buy. With a standard 640KB memory that's expandable to 2.6 MB. And a spectacular, high-resolution gas-plasma display that let's you work for hours without getting quint lines. It is an incredible example of Toshiba's technologies in miniaturization.

Zamboni Fan, eh?
Check out this fantastic letter from Steve Aureli of Knoxville, Tenn...

Thanks for Leigh Montville's fascinating article on the Zamboni (You're an Old Smoothie, March 30). I've been a Zamboni fan for years. In fact, I used to live in Waterbury, Conn., and when the Whalers were floundering not too long ago, we would go to the Hartford Civic Center and pay good money to see the Zamboni perform. Something resembling hockey was played during the long intermissions."

Things That Sounded Better At The Time
One other thing from the Letters page. Tim and Janet Matthews, a couple from Toronto, sent in a note taking writer E.M. Swift to task for his contention that Canadians, by and large, have low expectations for their athletes in international competitions. First athlete they cite to defend Canada's athletic prowess? Ben Johnson.

Remembering the Fast Start of the '87 Brew Crew
Moving on the meat of the issue, we begin with the feature story about the Milwaukee Brewers starting the season with an 13-game winning streak and a no-hitter from "embraceable lefty" Juan Nieves. Some highlights from that piece...

-Riding an 11-0 start, the Brewers drew 29,357 on Easter Sunday. I don't know what the capacity was at County Stadium but that seems like a low turnout for an 11-0 team.

-Juan Nieves channeling John Kreese..."People probably think this is a joke," Nieves said, "but it's not. It's a taste of what's to come the rest of the way. We're back. No mercy." It's worth noting at this point that Milwaukee finished 3rd in the AL East in '87.

-Did you know Juan captained the baseball, basketball and cross-country teams at Avon Old Farms? That's a fun piece of trivia. I have to admit, I didn't have Juan pegged as an Avon man.

-Best part of the article? I nominate this...

"Shortly before Opening Day, The Milwaukee Journal conducted a telephone survey of Wisconsin residents and found that 74% of them had no idea who the Brewers manager was?"

OK, first of all, a telephone survey to see how many people know the manager? That's awesome. I will pay money for copies of those phone calls. Even better that 74% didn't know though. 74%! That's tremendous.

The 1987 Phoenix Suns...More Sordid than you Remember
I think it's safe to say that the '87 Suns probably benefited from a comparative lack of media scrutiny. Consider the following...

-At the time, the '87 Suns were involved in "the largest single drug bust in the history of professional sports." No fewer than 11 players, past and present, were implicated by Phoenix law enforcement officials, including Walter Berry (a 6-time all-star and the leading scorer in Suns history).

-Berry was not only implicated but largely believed to have snitched on his teammates in the process. Good times.

-Aside from the drug bust, Phoenix police were also looking into allegations that a Suns-Bucks game from February of '87 may have been fixed.

Can you imagine the 24-hour indignation we'd be hearing from talking heads if all that was going on these days? Although....one thing would be the same and that's David Stern's reaction. Stern's quoted in the article and sounds exactly the same back then as he does now. "We've been assured there's nothing to the allegations but we're looking into it..."

The LaFontaine Game
Ahh, the old 4-OT Game 7 Isles-Caps thriller that ended on Easter Sunday. I remember it well. Hadley slept over that night and we watched into the wee hours. I can close my eyes and see Bob Mason standing dazed in the Wasington net after LaFontaine's turn-around slapper. Game over. Series over. Isles advance.

What I didn't remember until reading the article though is that Washington had a 3-1 lead in that series and lost 3rd period leads in Games 6 and 7. Now, that's a tough way to lose a series.

The Nigerian Nightmare
Skipping past articles on the Boston Marathon, Kentucky Derby prep races & a piece about Greg Louganis getting beat a few times at some indoor diving competition, we get a pre-NFL draft scouting report on Christian Okoye. Some highlights...

-Christian's favorite food was a pungent Nigerian stew called fufu.

-The stories of his athleticism and physique are pretty crazy. At the time, he was the African record-holder in the discus and a 17-time All-America in a variety of track & field events. 6'3", 255 lbs with a 34" waist. Ran a 4.45, 40. 35" vertical. Could bench 405 lbs. and could squat 725 lbs.

-Scouting reports were mixed because of his inexperience, as you would expect. Last first-round, early-second round seemed to be the consensus (and that's where he went incidentally...going to the Chiefs early in the 2nd round). Best part of the evaluations is this quote from Reed Johnson (head of player personnel for the Broncos)...

"Think of the acceleration from Asuza Pacific to playing against the Raiders! What a shock."

Ummmm...the Raiders then, or the Raiders now? Because I think Asuza Pacific could've given last year's Raiders all they could handle.

-My other favorite quote comes from Christian himself, after being handed a football for the first time in his life in college. Christian's reaction? "Very interesting....but very impractical."

Dr. Z on the '87 NFL Draft
Dr. Z goes 7 for 28 in predicting the first round of the NFL draft. Nobody ever does much better than that in hindsight. 7 for 28 is actually higher than I would've guessed. His best call, to me, is listing Rich Gannon in his top 5 underrated players section. Says if he went to USC instead of Delaware he'd be a first rounder. Good call on someone that ended up going in the 4th round (to the Pats by the way. We'll see you in at the Snow Bowl game in 15 years, Rich).

Chasing Patron

2009-09-29T18:06:00.005-04:00

1) No, that is not that cool

2) My top can hold the f'n tequila inside the bottle so it doesn't spill- because that is the god damn purpose of my top. You know what is more important... that I come off easily.

And honestly, why the hell did they cast Imperioli here - was he really the best option. What the hell does he bring to the brand? Tough Italian Guy that knows his tequila? Not for me - when I see him, I think of a raging heroin addict that cries a lot and can't handle his shit.

...Meanwhile, look at Patron - just absolutely understanding what a guy drinking patron wants:

Great commercial, glides over the empty bottle (WITH NO TOP ON) as it scans a bra and jeans and other clothes... whose clothes you ask? A smoking hot chicks clothes that's who. Then they show the tequila on the rocks in a clear glass with a lime on the rim... bottle half empty and no top.

And we see why one feels the need to attack the other.

Grade:
1800: C-
Patron: A-

Target - Pearl Jam Commercial

2009-09-29T14:44:00.007-04:00

Ok, so I love Pearl Jam. Or maybe I loved Pearl Jam... all I know is that at one point in my life - between Ten and Vitalogy and VS. - Pearl Jam was cool as shit. I wore flannel jackets in the midst of Summer because of Eddie Vedder did, I grew out my hair, I cut my jeans into jorts... I literally followed the man blindly. Then something happened... I am not sure if it was them, or if it was me... likely a bit of both, but the relationship hit the proverbial fork in the road. Outside of listening to their old stuff from time to time and my obsession with cut jean shorts - it has all but faded.

The point is - if Eddie Vedder told me to go shop at Target in 1994... I would have not thought twice. I would have jumped on my huffy, silver chromes and all, and b-lined it to nearest Target. But you know what, he never would have... because that Eddie Vedder, THAT Pearl Jam... they found their clothes at Salvation Army or Caldor or some other awesomely shitty store that may or may not sell pretzels that tasted great (Bradlees)

Furthermore, I am not sure how much they paid Cameron Crowe to direct this spot - but I might just call Target's VP Media and let them know that his agency convinced him to overspend for a big name director when my 14 year old cousin could have caught the same footage with better quality on his friggin Flip Video.

And then we have the group of advertising brain child's that must have creamed their pants with the "target logo" stamp idea to kick off the commercial. Not sure why that pissed me off so much, but it did.

So where am I at the end of the commercial? I don't want to go to that lousy themed concert... I don't want to buy their new album... I definitely don't want to go to Target for any reason... The association with Cameron Crowe didn't do shit for me - it just shows a lack of creativity and a fat wallet.

I guess the one thing I might do is go to iTunes. But that is because I always go to iTunes and just quickly hearing iTunes at the end of this stupid commercial reminded me that the new Avett Brothers album came out today. That and I might also throw on my old flannel jacket.

Grade:
Target, Pearl Jam, Cameron Crowe, Hipsters: D
Apple/iTunes: B

Poppin' Ain't So Easy Neither

2008-07-01T21:14:00.000-04:00

I'm eating my lunch in the company lounge this afternoon when one of my co-workers walks in to heat up a bag of popcorn. Ought to be simple enough, right? Well, apparently not.

First thing I notice is that the guy is pressing like two dozen buttons. Beep...beep....beep beep beep. Really dude? That many buttons? You can't put a minute up there? Or how about....oh, I don't know....maybe hitting the button that says "Popcorn?" No? Keep pressing buttons? Cool, cool.

Eventually this hooligan gets the microwave on. I go back to eating my lunch. Couple minutes go by. Guy goes to retrieve his Orville Reddenbacher and opens it on the counter...out comes the smoke monster from Lost. The popcorn is somehow both burnt and mostly unpopped. And he's irate.

"Oh my god. This always happens. I can't figure out what the hell you need to do!"

Ummm...you can't figure out how to microwave popcorn? This is a common occurrence? Wow. I am now officially terrified for the future of this company.

It's Showtime

2008-06-23T08:28:00.001-04:00

Its official, in my opinion, Showtime is the new HBO. It has superseded the Home Box Office as the place where my favorite, must-see televisions shows reside. The tide started turning last year when in addition to Weeds, I started watching Californication (Duchovny is perfectly casted as Hank Moody, the sly-talking, self-destructive, shoot-from-the-hip, struggling novelist that the show is centered around). Then just recently, after several trusted sources vehemently recommended that I watch the show Dexter, I did. And that was the end of my internal HBO vs. Showtime debate.

While HBO has been hit (Flight) or miss (John from Cincinnati) lately, Showtime has been quietly churning out some of the best shows on TV. I urge everyone out there to watch the three shows listed above and please let me know if I should be watching one of their other shows.

Showtime Site

"I love women. I have all their albums." Hank Moody, Californication

I Was Born To Lick Your Face

2008-06-22T13:28:00.001-04:00

While flipping around last night, I noticed TV Land was screening Caddyshack...albeit with one whopper of a description:

Movie, Comedy (1980) Chevy, Rodney. Oddballs and gophers undermine a
country-club caddy out to win a college scholarship.

Is it possible to create a more insane, misleading and boring description of one of the all-time great comedies?! Seriously? Who undermined Danny Noonan? Was the college scholarship even that relevant of a plotline? It's not even close to the most important golf match of the movie. Also, Ted Knight doesn't get top billing with Rodney? Come on...

The Tiger Woods Experience

2008-06-19T08:04:00.007-04:00

Soon after we watched Tiger battle through 91 holes of inspiring golf, rolling in back-to-back birdies to raise his 3rd U.S. Open, we found out that he did it all with a stress fracture and that his season has come to an end. This news, undoubtedly, led to an industry wide “What the f**k are we going to do now” moment. TV Executives, Event Title Sponsors, FedEx, the PGA, Nike, Gatorade, etc. are all scrambling and rightfully so… they have all committed a lot of time, energy and money into Tiger’s game (aka the PGA Tour).

And it really is Tiger’s game at this point, isn’t it? His direct sponsors invested over $105 million into him this year alone. When he is in the field everything spikes: TV ratings, attendance, news coverage, it all goes up. I was trying to think of a parallel to the Tiger phenomena and it really doesn’t exist in popular sport. Typically, the sum is greater, and the sport (and even a team) can withstand injury to a great player… but not golf, not this day and age, not this player. I guess it is most similar to music and specifically bands difficulties overcoming the loss of their centerpiece. Sure, they can keep the band name, keep playing the same songs and they will still get the real diehards to come out and watch… but without Freddy, Queen is not Queen… without Slash, GnR concerts just don’t feel right... and there is no escaping it. The real fans may come, but they walk away whispering to each other that something was off. That while it was great to hear the songs, the environment never solicited the excitement and vibe that they have become accustomed too.

In a way, Tiger IS the frontman in the world’s biggest rock band. When he is playing, everyone else's shots seem more important, their game seems to be inspired and while the crowd loves Tiger… they also look as if they love the rest of the band more because he is playing. He has all the characteristics of a band leader too… he is the most confident and explosive of the bunch. It is not just the hip thrusting double fist pumps either… Tiger stands over a putt not wanting to make it, but with the feeling that he HAS to. Sometimes I feel like the rest of the field just doesn’t want to mess up. If Tiger is Jimi, they are the Experience and while individually they are fantastic musicians… it doesn’t seem right without Jimi up front wailing away on his manipulated Fender Strat. The Experience just wants to make sure to hit all the notes, to get to the end of the song. Jimi wants to stick some acid under his bandana and go on a 10 minute psychedelic solo that culminates with him brushing his teeth with his guitar. That’s Tiger. Tiger doesn’t want to just make the putt, he wants to brush his f’n teeth with it and that is why it’s his band.

I will keep watching, diehards always do, but it won’t feel the same… how could it.

Blogging Is Hard

2008-06-16T18:25:00.002-04:00

Well, this blog has had quite a nap over the past year. After a strong surge of posts in late 2006, early 2007... we completely flat-lined and after a last ditch attempt to turn this place into something it wasn't, something easier, we died. What we tried to make the blog was not a bad thing, but it drifted away from our core values and what this place initially was meant to be; a stomping ground for our commentary on music, sports, news, movies, and any other form of culture that peaked the interest of 10CFP on a given day.

After recently looking back on it all, it became clear that we sort of missed it. Putting the pen to the pad on a daily basis not only gave us a warped sense of accomplishment, it was actually relaxing to a certain degree. And thankfully, unlike Dan Ackroyd's comedic timing, Freeze Pops are never lost for good. They may melt and turn into that liquid sugar that I was banned from as a kid, but they can always be put back into the freezer and in short order, mold into their proper form.

But the fact remains, blogging is hard. It is hard because everyone does it, because we have other jobs, because we have to consume media, TV, literature, sports, etc. to write about, because for 95% of us there is no tangible payoff. It is hard because we need more sleep now and because Celtics games end at sunrise. It is hard because we have DVR and Netflix to watch and Podcasts and Hypemachine to listen to. It is hard because everyone keeps sending me those damn Facebook applications. It is hard for a hundred reasons, but most of all it is hard because we want it to be good. We don’t want to post mindless, meaningless, trivial, bland, redistributed crap. We want the 4 or 5 people reading this thing to like it and to keep liking it.

But we missed it. So we have been rummaging around our cabinets, picking up all the unfrozen freeze pops, drinking a few grape ones, and getting them back to the way they are supposed to be.

White Collar Boy- Belle and Sebastian

2007-08-07T19:51:00.000-04:00

BBC studio shows rule....they emote Austin Powers at his peak. Belle and Sebastian can really bring it....one of the more unique bands, a sound that distinct and a good deal of fun. Plus, they are absolutely enormous in Scotland. In January 2005, B&S was voted Scotland's greatest band in a poll by The List, beating Simple Minds, Idlewild, Travis, Franz Ferdinand, and The Proclaimers, among others (source: Wiki). Go Stuarts!

Tom Waits - Waltzing Matilda

2007-08-05T09:17:00.000-04:00

No matter how many times I listen to a Tom Waits song, it amazes me to hear THAT voice come from THAT man. His voice was once described as sounding "like it was soaked in a vat of bourbon, left hanging in the smokehouse for a few months and then taken outside and run over with a car."

This gem is from '77 and the quality is great.

Otis, My Man

2007-07-24T19:44:00.000-04:00

Just an incredible performance... builds as it goes, gets better every time a new instrument joins the party. The best part is, with just about a minute left he takes off and leaves the stage and then runs back on and finishes the song, successfully completing the quickest encore of all time. This entire time the crowd is attempting to rush the stage. Good times.

Springsteen - Candy's Room

2007-07-21T23:16:00.000-04:00

The description places this show in Passaic circa 1978...right around the time Bruce & E Street released Darkness On The Edge Of Town. I don't think there's ever been a bad time to see Springsteen live but, watching this clip, you can't help but wish there was a way to take a time machine back to Jersey in the late 70's...

I mean, let's say, for the sake of argument, this was the September 19th show from '78. Here's your setlist:

1) Badlands
2) Streets Of Fire
3) Spirit In The Night
4) Darkness On The Edge Of Town
5) Independence Day
6) The Promised Land
7) Prove It All Night
8) Racing In The Street
9) Thunder Road
10) Meeting Across The River
11) Jungleland
12) Kitty's Back
13) Fire
14) Candy's room
15) Because The Night
16) Point Blank
17) Not Fade away
18) She's The One
19) Backstreets
20) Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)
21) 4th Of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)
22) Born To Run
23) 10th avenue Freeze-Out
24) Detroit Medley
25) Raise Your Hand

Not too shabby.

Ain't No Sunshine

2007-07-16T13:18:00.000-04:00

Bill Withers performing his signature song on Old Grey Whistle Test back in '72...

Couple things of note here:

1) Bill's sweating up a storm.

2) Bill's wearing a peach colored turtleneck. Are 1 and 2 related? You make the call.

3) Bill's intro is fantastic. You don't hear terms like "the old jive broad" too much anymore.

4) The drummer. Wow. Where to begin on that cat? I want to party with that guy.

Ch-Check It Out

2007-07-14T18:13:00.000-04:00

Very cool performance from the Beastie Boys on Letterman a few years ago...

Wilco

2007-07-12T08:45:00.000-04:00

Last summer I say Wilco at the Pines Theater in Western MA and it immediately became my favorite show to date. The current make up of the band (especially the additions of Glenn and Nels) are playing extremely tight. And of course, there is always the Tweedy/crowd relationship. IMHO, no one is better at it.

At Least That's What You Said

Lip Gloss by Lil Mama

2007-05-23T20:42:00.000-04:00

There's no way to know these things for sure but there's a good chance this is the greatest music video since the turn of the century...

Chillin' With Jim Rice

2007-05-22T23:55:00.000-04:00

Half price sale on scanners at Circuit City + a copy of the 1984 Red Sox Yearbook = this...

Still Fighting It

2007-05-10T22:59:00.000-04:00

Well, there's no way around it. These have been dark times for the once mighty 10 CFP. New posts are just completely non-existent at the moment. But, contrary to the rumors, we're not quite dead and buried yet.

Hadley and I took in the Boston Pops/Ben Folds show last night. And, while our ridiculously good seats from the 4th row didn't give us the greatest vantage point of the brawl in the 2nd balcony...

...we did have a sick view of Ben rocking the piano. Which was amazing. Although, even when he wasn't working the Steinway, it was still pretty damn impressive...

He Has Me In Stitches

2007-04-16T20:37:00.001-04:00

Happy Flooding! How I love the NHL playoffs without the Bruins in it...it allows me to flip between the Sabres-Isles and The Last Waltz with little consequence.

Anyway, here's some Bruins footage for you...or as YouTuber 'xclaimdotcom' calls it:

"Boston Bruins No.30 Gerry Cheevers "Cheesie"...the best NHL goalie of all time"

Well, that's a stretch. Regardless, check out the goalie style from the 70s....renegade is the word that comes to mind.

Classic

2007-04-16T18:04:00.000-04:00

Let's all take a moment to stop and appreciate the brilliance of Bobby Brown....

The sneer. Double wristbands. Double thumbs in the pocket. Words can't even begin to describe how much this picture rules.

Mr. Intellivision

2007-04-12T10:41:00.000-04:00

Many of you probably remember George Plimpton, to the extent that you remember him at all, for his brilliant work in the role of psychologist Dr. Henry Lipkin in Good Will Hunting. ("No more shenanigans, no more tomfoolery, no more ballyhoo...") Others may know him as an author of many fine books including a handful, such as Paper Lion, recounting his attempts to masquarade as a professional athlete. Me? I remember him for "beating out" an infield hit on a slow roller to me in a Phillips Exeter alumni baseball game back in '94. What can I say? I didn't have the heart to gun down a guy in late 60's.

But one thing you probably don't remember about George is his turn as "Mr. Intellivision" back in the early-80's. Hell, I was an Intellivision junkie back then and even I can't remember him doing ads for it. But he did. Many of them. And, thanks to Youtube, we can watch beauties like this...

Wow. That's all I can say about that. Just a tour de force. A is clearly better than B. Mr. Intellivision is right about that. Neither one of them should be all that proud of themselves though. I mean, what the hell is that sound when the runner gets cut down at home on Intellivision? I think it's the same sound they used in "Frog Bog" when you caught a fly. Good God. Atari baseball? Holy crap. Kids used to play that? 4 bases on a green screen? Three bizarre fielders moving in tandem? What the f***? That is too funny.

On a side note, if you never had the priviledge to play Frog Bog, you have no idea what you're missing...

The Masters

2007-04-09T14:11:00.000-04:00

Couple random thoughts on The Masters...

-I've heard multiple people talking about how they were glad Johnson won because "he can use the money more than Tiger." Couple things. First, can't you say that about essentially every athlete on the planet? I mean, who's in better financial shape than Tiger? But, also, can we all gain a little perspective here? Zach Johnson has made almost $9 million on Tour in his career. He's a multi-millionaire whether he won this week or missed the cut.

-Nice f-bomb from Stu Appleby after his tee shot on 8.

-I'll give Faldo about a B for his first year as the lead analyst for Masters coverage. Seemed like he was a little nervous at times but overall I thought he was fine. I think he'll only get better. Definitely gets credit for calling a non-Tiger win from the start, even if he did beat it into the ground.

-Shot of the day? I've got two. Goosen's iron out of the pine straw at 7 was ridiculous. And obviously, Johnson's chip on 18 was probably the most important shot. That took some serious stones after bogeying 17 and fanning his iron into the green. Honorable mention to Tiger for the 5-iron into 13 to set up eagle. Great shot but also very lucky to catch that ridge by less than a foot.

-Worst shot? Vijay rinsing his approach on 15 in the middle of the pond. One thing to hit it in the water there. That one wasn't even close though.

-I knew the "praise Jesus" stuff was coming from Zach Johnson when I saw someone in his gallery wearing a hat with a rhinestone cross. So that didn't surprise me. Nothing we haven't heard before. It would crack me up though (and this has also been discussed a million times so I'm not pretending to pawn this off as an original thought) if someone that lost went the other way and blamed Jesus. I think I'd piss my pants if I ever heard Tiger say, "you know what? There was nothing I could do today. Jesus made me play too much break on 16. Then he underclubbed me on 17 and forced me to hit it in the bunker. Thanks alot Jesus!"

Not Bad, Biff. Not Bad...

2007-04-06T10:20:00.000-04:00

In case you were wondering what the guy who played Biff (Tom Walker) in the Back To The Future movies is up to these days, Youtube has the answer...

Gotta give credit where credit is due. That's actually pretty funny.

It's Great To Be A Florida Gator...

2007-04-03T17:37:00.000-04:00

In the wake of Florida's sweep of the football and basketball national championships, we offer this stat. In the last 2 years, going back to the start of the 2005 college football season, exactly two teams have beaten the Gators in Gainesville. That's it. Two home losses in the last two years combined. The football team has gone undefeated in The Swamp over that time. Basketball team went undefeated this year. You have to go back to 2/22/06 to find a home loss for them to Tennessee. South Carolina (2/4/06) was the other one.

Last football team to win in Gainesville? LSU on 10/9/04

Last non-SEC team to win in Gainesville? Louisville hoop on 12/11/04

To put it another way, say your a sophomore at UF in the class of '09. In your time on campus you've seen your football and basketball teams combine for a 51-2 home record and 3 national titles. Not too shabby.

Serving You Up

2007-04-03T13:39:00.000-04:00

I apologize again for the lack of activity recently here at 10CFP. We do our best to add content but sometimes real life intervenes. In any event, I feel like we need a good dance battle or two to get the juices flowing this afternoon. Let's start with a little You Got Served for the masses...

And now let's take it up a notch...

Vintage Gus

2007-03-20T17:21:00.000-04:00

Just finished reading Bill Simmons' latest basketball blog (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/blog/index?name=simmons) in which he (rightly) buries CBS for their inexcusable decision to cut Gus Johnson from their March Madness coverage this week. Like everyone else, we're huge Gus fans here at 10CFP. And, since you can never go wrong with clips of him going bananas at the end of a tight game, here's my favorite Gus clip of all-time (which I haven't seen linked as often as some others) from Gonzaga-Florida, 1999....

Hey Now, Jeffs!

2007-03-19T13:37:00.000-04:00

We here at 10CFP would like to extend a hearty congratulations to the newly crowned 2006-07 Division III NCAA Men's Basketball Champions...the mighty Lord Jeffs of Amherst College.

The game story is here...

http://www.ncaasports.com/basketball/mens/recaps/d3_0317_04/2007

Please Stop

2007-03-16T11:48:00.000-04:00

As I opened the 2007 Red Sox Annual last night, the news started reporting a weather warning. Now, as I sit and read about the future of the Sox farm system... I look out the window and see a sheet of white. I feel like I have been had, with 70 degree weather early this week, baseball was on my mind. With our Ace extending fascinating insight ranging from his contract to his thoughts on CHB to how his change is doing, I am nipping at the bit for opening day. But now this. Mother nature decides to take a crap on my optimistic attitude and now I will have to go home and friggin shovel.

Side Note: I highly urge all Red Sox Fans to purchase the 2007 Red Sox Annual. It is by far the most in depth and thought provoking pre-season literature out there. I would push all Baseball fans in general to visit Schillings website... it is that good.

Lyrics Analysis (Things That Make You Go Hmmm...)

2007-03-13T21:11:00.000-04:00

Been a while since we've done a lyrics analysis here at 10CFP. Let's jump back into it with this "classic" from C&C Music Factory. As always, my comments in red...

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...
C&C Music Factory Featuring Freedom Williams

I was at the crib, sittin' by the fireplace
Drinkin' cocoa on the bear skin rug (I'm gonna go ahead and nominate those first two lines for "Best opening lyrics in the history of music." I mean,come on now. How can you top that?)
The door bell rang. Who could it be?
Thought to myself then started to shrug
Got to the door. Ding Dong. Who is it? (You seem genuinely perplexed by this whole thing. Why don't you just go ahead and end the suspense. Open the damn door.)
My girl's best friend had payed me a visit. ("Payed?" Come on, Lyrics World...you're better than that.)
Sly as can be, tight dress and all (I'm not sure "sly" is the right word.Her scheme, which you're about to drop on us, is awfully transparent.)
She knew that I was faithful. I really didn't have the gall. (Great line)
I tried to chilll. She made the move. (Lyrics World put the extra "l" in"chilll" and I'm glad they did. It belongs.)
Now I know my girlfriend wouldn't approve.
I didn't realize my girl was settin' me up
Yo, my girl didn't trust me. No! (Man, you can just feel the pain in his voice. That was cold, girl.)Yeah, but she lost control I wouln't take the bait.
I said chill baby baby chill baby baby wait (First of all, best line in the song. Just...awesome. But, also...did you really say that? Think about it. Think about the scenario. Then think of him dropping that exact line. Makes it even better.)
My girl bust in, Caught us creating a boom ("Creating a boom" is a phraseyou really don't hear enough.)
She said "Girlfriend"?

Things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm, hmm, hmm
Things that make you go hmm

Here's how it started
Just an example of how another brother can trample
Ruin your life, sleep with your wife (Dude, maybe your buddy's not the problem. I think it's your wife.)
Watch your behind
There was a friend of mine named Jay
Would come over late at night and say hey (Jay wasn't very articulate.)
I watched the fight. I thought it was alright.
'Cause me and Jay were really really tight (Wow. Those two lines might be the worst lyrics in music history. Horrible. Just horrible.)
So damned close we had the same blood type. (Yeah, you and several million other people. Minimum. If you're O+ or A+ then over 30% ofthe US population alone has the same blood type. Even if you have AB-, the most rare blood type, there are still at least 3 million matches in the US.)
Months went by and my wife got big (Can't say it in a more genteel way than that.)
We were havin' a child and I got another gig
So I let Jay move into the crib and chill (I think the damage is already done at this point anyway.)
He had his own room and helped pay the bills (I would hope he had his own room. Nice of him to help with the bills.)
The time had come (for the baby down to the scene)
It looked like Jay and I couldn't believe (OK, a)are you really going to be able to tell the baby looks like Jay in the delivery room? And b)assuming you could, is it really something that would make you go hmmmm? Seems more like something that would make you go apeshit.)
Before my eyes in the delivery room.

The things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
The things that make you go hmm, hmm, hmm
The things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
The things that make you go hmm.

Robbie Rob - break it down! (Always a good suggestion...)

Give it to me Give it to me Give it to me Give it to me (x7)
Give it to me Give it to me

Seventeen and I was havin' a ball
Eleventh grade and "Joe" I knew it all ("Joe I knew it all?" I'm not sure Lyrics World has that quite right. 17 year olds definitely think they know it all though. I agree with that part.)
I fell in love for the very first time
With this girl she really blew my mind
Inner sense and whole lotta class (Got to mean "innocence" here, no? Inner sense? That's crazy talk.)
Style that could give you whiplash (Oustanding)
We said hello and my heart beat stopped
She was the world and I was on top
Time went by, She filled my universe (Wait, so she's the world and you're the universe? I'm getting confused.)
We made love, She said I was the first
My boy kept tellin' me. Yo, I don't know
I think your girl's been playing tic tac toe (I bet Jay was involved.)
I'll ask my girl I know she only loves me
Wasn't I the one who took your viginity? (I love pop songs that rhyme "me" with "virginity.")The look on her face read sorrow and gloom
She said "Yeah, Why do you guys always ask that?" (That doesn't seem to rhyme but that's OK.)

(Chorus)
Things that make you go hmm
Things that make you go hmm
It's the things that make you go hmm

(Repeat Chorus)

Hey ladies
Have you ever had a man
Go away for business, come back with a tan
Comes home late at night from work
You cooked him dinner now you feel like a jerk
Sayin' he didn't have time to eat
And he's not even hungry, he wants to be treat (What? "Wants to be treat?" Has to be another Lyrics World error.)
To the bedroom he said his head hurts
You're only makin' love in radical spurts (What's wrong with that?)
Mysterious calls and the phone goes click
You say to yourself "I'm gonna hit him with a brick" (In the words of Ron Burgandy, "Boy, that escalated quickly...")
Ain't no way he could be cheatin' on me
I wonder who bought him those BVD's (Really wish I had never read that line.)
Dressed to a T to hang with the fellas
Over the guys and I'm getting jealous
Comin' home late smellin' like perfume (fume)

(Repeat Chorus x7) (In retrospect, was that really necessary? Repeating the chorus 7 times? I say no.)

Things that make you go hmmm...

Shootout Goals

2007-03-09T13:11:00.000-05:00

Apropos of nothing, here are eight of my favorite shootout moves from the youtube era in no particular order....

1) Pavel Datsyuk against Nashville. I've seen this one dozens of times and I still can't believe how bad he gets Vokoun to bite...

2) Marek Malik against Washington. This one's a bit over-rated in my book. It looks incredible if you've never played hockey but it's actually not that hard to do. There are plenty of guys who can pull it off. Trust me. But I still give him props for having the nads to pull it in one of the first shootouts in NHL history. Plus I love the reaction...

3) Henrik Zetterberg against Colorado. A lot of guys have scored on variations of this move but I like Zetterberg's best just for how smooth it is and how casual he is on the finish...

4) Ryan Getzlaf against Los Angeles. Harder than it looks in my book. Makes Garon completely buckle. Very nice...

5) Pierre-Marc Bouchard against Chicago. It's one thing to pull off the 360....thing I like about this one is that he's absolutely flying before he puts on the brakes and spins it in...

6) Sidney Crosby against Montreal. Just as cool as you like. The bottle-popper of all bottle-poppers...

7) Rob Shremp mix. Rob's kind of an underground internet legend for a handful of these kinds of goals. This is my favorite video of his...

8) Zach Parise against Toronto. A recent one. Love moves like this where a guy ends up with a wide open net....

Every Breath You Take

2007-03-09T08:56:00.000-05:00

What is the all-time worst remake of a song. There is constantly talk about best covers (Toots and the Maytals, Country Road), but I am trying to figure out the worst. This question popped in my head last night as I heard the P-diddy version of Every Breath You Take and that is pretty bad, but there is no way it's the worst.

What is the worst cover of all-time cover?

Old S.I. Review (April 12, 1993)

2007-03-04T20:38:00.000-05:00

For this edition of Old S.I. Review we go with an April, 1993 issue celebrating North Carolina's NCAA title over Michigan in the Chris Webber timeout game. As always, let's begin at the beginning...

Sign O' The Times

First indication we're looking at something from the early-90's? Within the first 5 pages we've already had appearances from Chris Sabo (with goggles), Vendela & Kathy Ireland. Strong start.

Letters

The first highlight from the Letters section is so good I'm just going to go ahead and transcribe the whole thing...

Air Ball?

Wait a minute! You finally give the Cleveland Cavaliers some overdue attention (Can The Cavs Finally Jam? March 15) and they come off as hayseeds from the set of Hee Haw. In Cleveland we love the Cavs as players and, more importantly, as upstanding citizens of our community. Lenny Wilkens will soon be the NBA's winningest coach, and Northeast Ohio knows him as the Knights of Columbus choice for Catholic of the Year. We respect Brad Daugherty for extolling the virtues of Cleveland and a college education on The Arsenio Hall Show. We love Mark Price for his all-out hustle, leadership and marksmenship on the court, and for the example he provides our young people at The Chapel in Akron. We relate to the blue-collar work ethic of Craig Ehlo and Hot Rod Williams's total unselfishness as our super sub, plus the toughness of all our role players - even Danny Ferry, with his continuing struggles.

You missed the hoop on this one. Air ball! The real story behind these Cavs is one of unspoiled and unselfish players who seem to like each other as people and as athletes. That cliche about family values really applies to this special team.

Lyle R. Pohly
Mogadore, Ohio

Wow. So many questions after reading that letter. Like, is that Brad Daugherty-Arsenio Hall footage up on youtube yet? What do you get for winning the Northeast Ohio Catholic of the Year award? And, finally, did Lyle really drop an "Air ball!" taunt in a letter to S.I.?

Moving on, two readers wrote in to comment on a recent article about Bulls GM Jerry Krause. One guy said he thanks Krause for every single Bulls victory and claims his accomplishments are underrated. The other guy calls him a mediocre GM and argues that the Bulls wouldn't be a .500 team without Jordan. You can decide which guy was more right in the final analysis.

Finally, Lawrence T. Stoogenke (great name) of Stamford, CT wrote in to question how Phoenix Suns fans could've left Walter Davis off of their 25th anniversary team. The starting 5, as voted by the fans, was Paul Westphal, Jeff Hornacek, Alvan Adams, Charles Barkley and Tom Chambers. I don't feel like doing a ton of research but that seems like a valid point. Davis is still the all-time leading scorer in Suns history I believe. I'd have ranked him and K.J. ahead of Hornacek.

Bring Back The Smythe

In the Scorecard section, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is praised for getting rid of the old division and conference names and replacing them with "more user-friendly" geographic ones. Screw that. I hated it then and I still hate it now. I'd much rather still have the Adams, Patrick, Norris and Smythe divisions. Not to mention the Wales and Campbell conferences. Who cares if the other way is more "user-friendly?"

Hatin' On Vinny

"Testaverde looks like a quarterback, acts like a quarterback, he even talks like a quarterback. But he's got the heart of a placekicker."
-quote from Tim McDonald in the Florida Times-Union after Vinny left Tampa to sign with Cleveland

Mike Tyson Report

What was Iron Mike up to in the spring of 1993, you ask? Well, he was in prison. And he was reportedly about to convert to Islam and change his name to Malik Abdul Aziz. Which, apparently, he did end up doing according to his Wiki page. Also, according to his Wiki page, Tyson has 7 children: Gena, Mikey, D'Amato, Rayna, Amir, Miguel and Exodus. Awesome.

UNC-Michigan Recap

The cover story by Alexander Wolff, on Carolina's victory over Michigan in the national title game, was focused more on Dean Smith's greatness than Chris Webber's timeout. The headlines and the pictures are on Webber. And there's an insert titled "I Cost Our Team the Game" all about it as well. But the main article was really focused much more on Smith and the Heels.

One thing that was kind of news to me is that Michigan led by 4 with about 4:00 left. I didn't remember that. I thought they were chasing most of the game. But the game was very back-and-forth according to the story. And Michigan actually had a double-digit lead at one point.

Couple good points, which Wolff mentions in the story, on the Webber/timeout stuff.....1)Webber almost definitely traveled before he even took the timeout. 2)UNC had a bunch of fouls to give so, even if he doesn't call that timeout, Michigan's going to have a hard time getting a shot away in the final 10 seconds.

Best part of the story? I nominate these lines...

There also abides in Smith much of the activist spirit that helped integrate lunch counters and campaigned for a nuclear freeze - the man who, like John Stuart Mill, believes that society is perfectible. The coach takes after the public man, and thus his teams are the product of constant refinement.

Gotta respect anyone that can work a John Stuart Mill reference into a game story.

Birth Of The Marlins

Some highlights from Tim Kurkjian's article on the first game in Florida Marlins history, a 6-3 win behind starter Charlie Hough over the Dodgers...

-First AB in Marlins history was Hough against Jose Offerman. Charlie fanned him on 3 pitches.

-From 1982-1989 only Jack Morris won more games in the majors than Hough which, having lived through the 80's, seems semi-impossible to me.

-As of the article, Hough was the only pitcher in major league history to throw at least 375 innings both as a starter and a reliever.

-Chuck Carr, described as "an accomplished breakdancer," claimed he would steal 100 bases and could play CF as well as Andy Van Slyke. So, basically, he was biting Willie Mays Hayes' routine 4 years after Majoe League came out. Didn't do as well as Willie either. Chuck stole 58 bases in '93 which was the only time in his career he cracked 32 steals.

-Pitcher Bob McClure wrote a book called Rotting: The Craze of the 90's. According to Bob the book's about "doing nothing, looking like you're doing nothing, but not feeling guilty about it." It's currently unavailable on Amazon....

http://www.amazon.com/Rotting-Craze-90s-Rott-McClure/dp/0533092094/ref=sr_1_1/103-7848951-2299816?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1173150023&sr=8-1

There is one customer review though. From 1998.

-SS Alex Arias used to rub a "red-haired voodoo Trool Doll" for good luck.

More Expansion '93 Tidbits

-Based on the records of previous expansion teams S.I. predicted that neither the Marlins nor the Rockies would have a winning season until at least 2000. Both beat that prediction with ease. The Rockies had 3 winning seasons in a row starting in 1995, including a wild card appearance. And, of course, the Marlins won the World Series in 1997.

-A blurb on Mile High Stadium, the Rockies' home for the 1993 season, speculates on whether the altitude would create a big home-field advantage. No mention of the impact it would have on offensive numbers as a whole though.

Sounded Good At The Time

In an article about the NFL free agency season being marked by numerous big-money deals for O-linemen, comes this this quote from Colts GM Jim Irsay...

"It's been a land rush to get the linemen. But we've got a franchise quarterback in Jeff George, and we're determined to protect our investment."

A year later George was shipped to Atlanta.

Muggsy

Moving on, the next story is a 3-page profile on Muggsy Bogues which, among other things, features a sublime picture of Muggsy trying to set a screen on Bill Laimbeer. I also enjoyed these two quotes from the story...

"People always say we'll probably never see another Larry Bird. But I've always felt we a better chance of seeing another Larry Bird than we do another Muggsy Bogues. Nobody has ever done what Muggsy is doing. And you really don't get the full effect of Muggsy until you go up and stand next to him."
-Hornets coach Allan Bristow

(You can debate the Bird-Bogues stuff all you like. I'm just enjoying the phrase "full effect of Muggsy.")

"Will a midget really bother Patrick Ewing?"
-Former Hornets coach Dick Harter, speaking from his hands and knees, mocking Muggsy and explaining to reporters why he didn't use Muggsy to front Ewing in certain defensive sets.

(Sadly, to this day, I'm not sure we've ever adaquetly answered this question. It's one of life's great mysteries.)

Sounded Good at the Time, Part II

In a story about Rock Newman, manager of then-Heavyweight champion Riddick Bowe, Rock is quoted as saying...

"We're on a roll. The wind's at our back. Everything we've touched has turned to gold."

While the 3 Evander Holyfield fights would ultimately define his career, Bowe would lose the title to Holyfield in their second fight about 7 months after this quote.

Letdown

Biggest disappointment of the issue is probably the one-page "Sports People" story about Shawn Bradley going on his Mormon mission prior to joining the NBA. Surprisingly bereft of any interesting anecdotes. A close runner-up is a big feature story on the history of ceremonial first pitches in major league baseball. Pretty boring for the most part.

NBA Coach Predictions

Finally, let's wrap things up by seeing how successful S.I. was in predicting which NBA coaches had the best chances of getting fired in April of '93....

Most Likely To Go - Ron Rothstein, Pistons

(Rothstein was fired at the end of the '93 season)

On The Bubble - Rick Adelman, Trail Blazers; Bob Hill, Pacers; Randy Pfund, Lakers; Jerry Sloan, Jazz

(Adelman lasted one more year before he was fired. Bob Hill was fired at the end of the season. Randy Pfund lasted until the end of the next season, when he was replaced by Magic Johnson. Jerry Sloan is still coaching the Jazz and is currently the 4th winningest coach in NBA history.)

Resigned To New Roles - Don Nelson, Warriors; Wes Unseld, Bullets

(Nelson lasted two more years in Golden State before jumping to the Knicks. Wes lasted one more year in Washington before getting the axe.)

Safe (Maybe) - Fred Carter, 76ers; Garry St. Jean, Kings; Bob Weiss, Hawks

(Carter was canned at the end of the '94 season. St. Jean lasted until 1997 with the Kings. Weiss went the way of Rothstein, getting fired at the end of the '93 season.)

So, by and large, the predictions were pretty solid. Only big misfire was Jerry Sloan.

Past S.I. reviews

http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2007/01/old-si-review-february-5-1990.html
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/11/old-si-review-november-21-1988.html
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/10/old-si-review-december-6-1993.html
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/10/old-si-review-december-8-1980.html
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/10/old-si-review-october-21-1991.html
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/09/old-si-review-june-26-1989.html

Sega On Your Mobile

2007-02-28T19:09:00.000-05:00

See for yourself.

If they unleash 94, I am going to call my insurance company and let them know I will be rear ending five cars, smashing into three trees, and scoring 15 with Mogilny against the Whalers.

He's Drinking a Frappe Down Cellar

2007-02-25T16:08:00.000-05:00

I found myself at a sub shop the other day deciding whether I wanted an Italian or a Meatball parm. After weighing the pros and cons of each decision, I decided to go with the Italian. I put in my order and ask them to load it up. I turn around to start the same selection process at the chip rack and realize that the guy behind the counter is not done with me yet. He asks me if I want a roll or a wedge. I reply “a what”, he says “a wedge”… I am pretty puzzled at this point, but in an effort discover what the hell is occurring and end the current stand off I was in, I go with the wedge. Turns out it is just a sub, which I got me thinking about the whole sub category in general. Is there any other food group that has so many aliases? I thought I had heard them all, then “Wedge” gets thrown at me. Are there more variations beyond this that I have yet to come across? Well, hopefully some of you here can help me avoid any future situations where I stand in front of a sub shop employee feeling like Paris Hilton in a monastery.

I have now come across:
-The Submarine (Sub)
-The Hero
-The Grinder
-The Hoagie
-The Po’boy
-The Wedge

Furthermore, what other food/drink names are dependent on their geographic resting point. Well, after doing some google research I found myself at this website that compiles surveys analyzing dialect dispersion around the country. Some other categories I found entertaining are listed below

Thick drink made with Milk and Ice Cream:
-Frappe
-Milkshake
-Cabinet
-Velvet
-Thick Shake

Now, here at 10CFP it is a Frappe and it will always be so, but more than 96% of the people surveyed call it a Milkshake, which is just chocolate syrup and milk in our book. And I have never heard of it being called a Cabinet and Velvet.

Sweetened Carbonated Beverage
-Soda
-Pop
-Coke
-Tonic
-Soft Drink
-Cola
-Fizzy Drink
-Dope
-Other (2.5)

These are all familiar with the exception of Dope and if you are calling it Fizzy Drink and are over the age of 8, then you have some issues to deal with.

I guess the difference in dialect always intrigued me because I did not know I had such a distinct one until I was in college. Instantly after I arrived people began asking me what the hell everything I said meant. Words like cellar, rubbish barrel, elastic, bubbler (the fountain water you hippie), rotary, clicker, packie, jimmies, breakdown lane and hoodsies all rendered looks of confusion. It is a great moment when you first start to realize that you know very little and will be learning so much.

More Globe Archive Stuff (Tom Glavine, Hockey Player, Edition)

2007-02-23T15:19:00.000-05:00

Couple more teasers from the Boston Globe archives. These are all from March of 1984 and serve as testimony to Tom Glavine's hockey ability. First teaser is from the recap of Billerica's 10-2 win over Weymouth North in the EMass Quarterfinals...

DIVISION 1 HOCKEY\ BILLERICA WALLOPS WEYMOUTH NORTH\ BYLINEBY JERRY HIGGINSGLOBE CORRESPONDENT
Published on March 10, 1984

It was supposed to be a showcase of two of the better centers around in Weymouth North's Kevin Heffernan and Billerica's Tom Glavine.

What it turned out to be was a good old fashoned whupping as Billerica jumped out to an early 6-0 lead and coasted to a 10-2 romp over Weymouth North in the Eastern Mass. Division 1 quarterfinals last night at BU's Walter Brown Arena.

Three days later the Globe ran this story on Glavine winning the Carlton Award...

GLAVINE WINS CARLTON AWARD\ BILLERICA SENIOR CENTER CITED FOR HOCKEY, ACADEMIC ABILITY
Published on March 13, 1984
Author(s): Larry Ames Globe Staff

Tom Glavine, one of the finest athletes to come out of Billerica High in the past few years, is the winner of the second annual John Carlton Memorial Award.

The award is given by the Boston Bruins to a high school senior who combines exceptional hockey skills with academic excellence. Glavine will receive the award Saturday between periods of the Bruins' game against the New Jersey Devils at the Boston Garden.
Glavine, a center, was the leading scorer in Eastern Mass....

And, finally, here's the teaser from Billerica's loss to my alma mater, St. John's Prep, in the EMass semis....

ST. JOHN'S EARNS FINAL REMATCH
Published on March 14, 1984
Author(s): Jerry Higgins Globe Correspondent

For the fifth time since the Eastern Mass. hockey finals were split into Divisions 1 and 2 in 1972, there will be an all-Catholic Conference final in Division 1 at Boston Garden.

And, for the fourth time, it will mark the third meeting of the year between Matignon and St. John's Prep.

Last night, the Prep got balanced scoring and hot goaltending to ward off Billerica, 5-3, in the semifinals at the Garden.

From the Boston Globe Archives....

2007-02-22T17:57:00.000-05:00

I've been amusing myself no end this afternoon by searching the Boston Globe's online archives. So much so that I went ahead and bought a 25-article pass, by all accounts a horrible bargain, for the right to download a few of my choice. I'll definitely keep the citizens of Freeze Pop Land updated if I come across anything noteworthy. For now, enjoy this teaser for a 1982 column from the venerable Mike Barnicle...

MIKE BARNICLE\ I WAS JUST THINKING . . .'
Published on November 26, 1982
Author(s): Mike Barnicle

Not that it really matters, but:

Nancy Reagan had two turkeys in her house yesterday.

Stewardesses aren't as pretty as they used to be.

Diet Coke is a great drink.

Tab tastes like soap.

Pro football is as exciting as unloading a dishwasher.

John Glenn could be my President.

And things are so bad that even Bob Dole is looking good.

But Alan Cranston looks like E.T.

Of Babies & Brady's

2007-02-19T23:11:00.000-05:00

In honor of Tom Brady becoming a father I feel like it's only appropriate to post this...

It's hard to pick a most ridiculous part. Is it the kazoo intro? Is it the outfits? Is it the faux Jan? Is it the synchronized swimming? Tough to say.

Young Shaq Throws It Down

2007-02-09T17:05:00.000-05:00

All the Oden/Durant talk lately reminds me that I've been meaning to post this video I saw of Shaq blocking a shot and going coast-to-coast in the 1989 McDonald's All-American game...

I think Dickie V. may have literally had an orgasm after the dunk.

Lyrical Foolishness

2007-02-09T16:41:00.000-05:00

I always thought Vanilla Ice was the leader in the clubhouse when it came to most ridiculous claims in a single song. (Witness such lines as, "turn off the lights, and I'll glow" and "if my rhyme was a drug I'd sell it by the gram.") But my sister Amy and I were discussing Air Supply the other night (within the context of someone singing one of their songs on American Idol) and the thought occurred that, with the song Making Love Out Of Nothing At All, they might just have Vanilla licked. I mean, take a gander at these beauties....

MAKING LOVE OUT OF NOTHING AT ALL (Air Supply)

I know just how to whisper
And I know just how to cry
I know just where I find the answers
And I know just how to lie
I know just how to fake it
And I know just how to scheme
I know just when to face the truth
And then I know just when to dream
And I know just where I touch you
And I know just what to prove
I know when to pull you closer
And I know when to let you loose

And I know the night is fading
And I know the time’s gonna fly
And I’m never gonna tell you everything I gotta tell you
But I know I’ve got to give it a try

And I know the roads to riches
And I know the ways to pain
I know all the rules and then I know how to break’em
And then I always know the name of the game

But I don’t know how to leave you
And I’ll never let you fall
And I don’t know how you do it
Making love out of nothing at all

Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all

Everytime I see you, well the rays of the sun are all
Streaming through the waves in your hair
And every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes
Like a spotlight
The beating of my heart is a drum and it’s lost
And it’s looking for a rhythm like you
You can take the darkness from the deep of the night
And turn it to a beacon burning endlessly bright
I gotta follow it ‘cause everything I know
Well, it’s nothing ‘till I give it to you

I can make the runner stumble
I can make the final block
And I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle
And I can make all the stadiums rock

I can make tonight forever
Or I can make it disappear by the dawn
And I can make you every promise that’s ever been made
And I can make all your demons be gone

But I’m never gonna make it without you
Do you really wanna see me crawl ?
And I’m never gonna make it like you do
Making love out of nothing at all

Making love
Out of nothing at all...

Will the streak continue

2007-02-02T10:26:00.000-05:00

The Celtics are going to hit the hardwood tonight in pursuit for their 14th straight loss. I am not sure which is a more impressive feat, the Suns' winning streak or the Celtics losing one. History tells us it is harder to lose a lot of games in a row. The longest losing streak is 23 games, while the Lakers won 33 straight in the 71-72 season. The best part for us Celtics fans is we actually get to cheer on this puppy. With Oden and Durant in mix this year, I hope they lose 30 straight.

Side note: That Duke/Virgina game was great entertainment last night. Sean Singletary is really exciting to watch and the Cavaliers, in my opinion, have the best backcourt in the nation. Singletary's one-handed fade away over McRoberts for the game winner was great, but the entire game he showed why he has the best handle on the ball in the country.

They Say I Look Like Hasselhoff

2007-02-01T19:54:00.000-05:00

This site is pretty cool. You throw a picture of yourself or anybody for that matter and it gives you a bunch of celebrities that have similar facial features. There is a boat load of other things you can do on the site as well.

Who Am I

Rollin' With Kid 'N Play

2007-02-01T14:16:00.000-05:00

I don't have many regrets in life but one regret I do have is that I absolutely used to pull out the move displayed at the :49 seconds-remaining mark of this video at high school dances....

I'm not proud of it. But it happened.

At least I didn't go for the flat-top...

Mid-Semester Review

2007-02-01T10:05:00.000-05:00

I decided to revisit the “what am I watching” post from earlier this fall. I gave a fairly long list of shows that I would try give a shot and now I want to see how the delivered:

Original Post:

Heroes: It seems to be well written. I really liked the opener and will watch it until it loses me. This is what happens every year and by October this list is cut in half.
Lost: No need to explain. Either you watch it or you don't
Studio 60: I loved the opener. I really did. I thought Pete was overacting a little, but lets be honest here... it's Amanda "Can I take my shirt of now?" Pete. Second show was not as good, but we love Sorkin and think this will work.
The Office: If you don't watch it, leave. Ahh, don't speak.. just walk away and never return.
Kidnapping: Not sure why I am watching this one, but I am.
The Amazing Race: The Family Edition almost killed the show. It was awful, but they come back this year with some killer teams (2 already eliminated). They have the couple, 2 years into it and deciding if they should make the next step, that absolutely hates each other. They have (had) 2 groups of very attractive women. Miss New York and Miss Cali are still in it, the spunky cheerleaders are gone. They have a lady with one leg. They have a middle aged giddy gay couple, that provide serious comedic entertainment. They have a father and daughter duo, where the father cries in disappointment about his daughter being gay. Two Country Bumpkins from Kentucky who have no idea where they are. They may win; they think they are still in Kentucky. It is amazing. Good cast, I am in.
Friday Night Lights: Machon liked High School.
30 Rock: Alec Baldwin, enough said.

Watching because of Machonette:
Greys Anatomy
Dancing with the Stars
Gilmour Girls
Desperate Housewives

Well to start off, I picked a fairly good lineup considering how many shows have been axed at this point. Everything is still on or finished the season except Kidnapping, which as you can see, I was barely with it anyway. Now for the mid semester review:

Heroes: It is well written and each show has been had numerous “get the F**k out of here” moments. They found a way to take the comic book concept and make it appealing on a mass level. They came out firing the first half of the season with “Save the Cheerleader, Save the World”, then did something most shows today don’t and answered that question. Now the question is “Are You on the List?”

Lost: It’s tough to say because we only saw the first 6 episodes, but as I have posted before… I thought they were great. That being said, they real party begins next Wednesday.

Studio 60: It has been very blah, but I still watch it. It is becoming increasingly clearer that Amanda Peet can’t act and her value rises drastically when she is taking her shirt off.

The Office: Anyone who reads visits 10CFP on a semi-consistent basis knows how we feel about this show.

Kidnapping: Axed and it wasn’t even that bad. It just wasn’t that good either and without the start power of a Studio 60, it was only a matter of time.

The Amazing Race: Well, it was what you would think. It was a race around the world with some good teams, some annoying ones, but carried your attention for an hour. The gay couple should have stuck around longer though; their final episode may go down as one of the best AR moments ever.

Friday Night Lights: This show is actually very good. The football scenes are poorly done, but the casting, writing and acting have been extremely solid. The thing is, and Hadley and I talked about it the other day, this show and every other show about sports could be significantly improved if they hired a sport analyst to help them out. A couple episodes ago they have the Panthers go for it on 4th and 8 from their own 40. The point of the play and the episode for that matter, is for it to be the QB’s turning point. All they had to do was have someone with a little bit of football knowledge on the staff and have the line of scrimmage be the other teams 40 and it makes sense. 4th and 8 from the opponents 40, that’s a play every team would at least consider going for it. This would avoid pissing off every football fan who watches the show. I mean crap like this happens all the time and drives viewers away and the actual games are not even a major plot mover.

30 Rock: As stated before, Baldwin is in it. Also, one of our pal’s sister will be on the show next week, be sure to tune in. She actually has a speaking scene with Baldwin and as I told him, if she amounts to nothing else after this… she will always be able to say she traded lines with Alec Baldwin.

And of course I watch 24, mostly because I am scared Jack Bauer would shoot my knee caps off if I didn’t.

It’s been a good year on the tube thus far, and I have no longer any obligation to watch the shows Machonette was pushing. This is a huge added bonus.

Keys to a Long Commute

2007-01-30T08:16:00.000-05:00

I have recently been thrown into a long commute and to begin with, it certainly is not any fun. That being said, there are some things that help and I have decided to outline these in our little space on the interweb

-Ipod. Of course you say. Well it’s not just the music that gets you thru these long hauls. If you have the Ipod video, you can listen/watch the office on the way in, which kills about 22 minutes very quickly. If you don’t have the video, I strongly urge you to utilize some Pod Casts… keeping in theme with the Office, the Ricky Gervais Pod Cast kills time quickly

-Pretending you are 300 laps into the Indy 500. I mean really putting yourself into that mind set. I am talking about two hands on the wheel, body leaning into the turns, getting behind other cars and then using them to speed ahead at the opportune moment. I am actually thinking of installing those NASCAR seat belts into my car. You know the ones that hold you into your seat like a Baby Bjorn.

-Befriending other drivers. I like to find a buddy on the road early on. Then you have a running little competition for the remainder of the drive. The tough part is getting other people to buy into your game… I find the DeNiro “I’m watching you” finger point works the best.

-Traffic Reports. For me, 1010 is on the 2’s and 880 is every tenth (is that how you say that?). They work well enough and are a must listen for anyone who drives to work in a city. However, if they don’t already offer a system that not only tells you where the traffic is, but other routes to take, they should make it. It could be a cell phone service or an in-car device. Once you realize there is traffic it loads up three alternate routes with all important info on those. Do they have these?

-Timing. If you really want to avoid traffic, leaving before 7 is a must. I take off at 6:45 and have about a quart of coffee by 6:50. If this doesn’t keep me awake, I go with the Ace Ventura head out the window routine. Nothing wakes you up faster than shoving your melon outside of a moving vehicle in 18 degree weather.

-Radio. I always like to listen to once news segment (usually take 20 minutes) and a little sports radio. Everyone has their opinion on Mike & Mike, but either way… it passes time.

-Knowing how to drive quickly. There are two types of people; those who drive fast and get tickets and the rest of us. The key here is to drive fast with other cars that are driving fast. If you look are cruising past cars for 15 minutes and not part of a heard, chances are you are sticking out and nothing throws a wrench into a morning commute like getting pulled over and handed a piece of paper that let’s you know you can donate two hundred bucks to the state.

-EZPASS/FASTLANE. This one is pretty self explanatory.

-And most importantly, settling for the fact you are going to be in the car for a while. This is crucial, if you are constantly stressing out about the traffic or time on the road… you have no chance. I always thought that the worst drive was the hour and a half to two hour drive. I’d rather drive for 5 hours, because you get yourself into that “Ok, lets pack the car with food and start planning out the musical journey” mind frame when you know you will be in the car for a lengthy period of time. However, after a while you can get the same mindset with the hour and a half drive and it makes all the difference.

Follow The Bouncing Puck

2007-01-29T09:32:00.000-05:00

Great thing about the internet is that I saw this goal on live TV Saturday night and knew it would be posted somewhere within a day or two. This is from the 2nd game of a weekend series between North Dakota and Minnesota....

Old S.I. Review (February 5, 1990)

2007-01-26T13:40:00.000-05:00

For this review I decided to grab the first late-January, early-February issue out of a pile to see what was going on this time of year in the past. The issue that came up was this one from 1990 celebrating the 49ers' 4th Super Bowl title. Let's open it up and start plowing through...

Letters
Most of the Letters section is devoted to reader feedback and opinion at the conclusion of the 1989-90 college football season. And, as usual, most people were pissed off. But not everyone. Reader Stuart Wood, from California (naturally), was ready to drop the rankings, have everyone join hands, and sing Kumbaya. To wit...

"This season fans nationwide had reason to celebrate good football. No team is clearly No. 1, so let's call it a winning season for college football and leave it at that."

Sadly for Stuart, they did award a national championship in 1990. And it went, somewhat controversially (there were 4 one-loss teams that year), to the U. A couple readers wrote in to dispute the #1 ranking but the bigger outcry was over Miami's attitude and swagger...

"After watching hours of bowl games and hearing hundreds of statistics on almost every conceivable subject over the recent bowl season, the only question I still have is this: How does the University of Miami afford all the mustard for so many hot dogs?"
-Don Dunn (Booneville, Ark.)

"As a young football coach, recently removed from my college playing days, I find your approval of Miami's antics disturbing. The finger-waggling, talking trash and "silly little dances" have no place on the playing field. That's what cheerleaders are for."
-Mike Godfrey (Seneca, Mo.)

I'm not sure that's what cheerleaders are really for either but point taken, Mike. My favorite letter, however, has nothing to do with Miami. It's from a Tennessee fan...

"The inclusion of Southern Cal in your final Top Five ranking of college football is a joke. Tennessee would beat USC like a drum. Ask UCLA which team it would rather play."
-H. Bruce Guyton (Knoxville, Tenn.)

First of all, love the name H. Bruce Guyton. But what I really love is that H. Bruce took the time to rattle off a letter about who finished #5 in the final SI poll. That's great. Suffice it say that H. Bruce from Knoxville and Stu Wood from California have a slightly different take on the importance of college football. (For the record...Tennessee beat UCLA 24-6 in the opening game of the '89 season, while USC could only manage a 10-10 tie against the Bruins in the finale. Hence, the UCLA line.)

Super Bowl Leftovers
Couple tidbits from the Super Bowl Scorecard section...

-S.I. pretty much nailed it's Hall of Fame predictions for the, at the time, current 49ers dynasty. Said they wouldn't get many. Montana, Lott and Rice were locks. Bill Walsh was probable. Roger Craig was a maybe. That's basically right. Usually when they predict stuff like that there's always a glaring mistake or two.

-Eddie DeBartolo gets a mention for noting that the 49ers "lost a little bit" of money in 1988 and would be lucky to turn a small profit in 1989. Kind of interesting knowing what we know about Eddie now.

-Not losing money were the hotels in New Orleans during Super Bowl week in '90. Le Pavilon, where the Broncos stayed, jacked the price from $69/night to $240/night with a 4-night minimum for Super Bowl week.

-Not sure why it was in this section but there's also a brief blurb about Karl Malone. Seems The Mailman was upset about getting snubbed for the All-Star Game (the fans voted A.C. Green ahead of him) so he decided to take it out on his next opponent, the Milwaukee Bucks, to the tune of 61 points and 18 rebounds in 33 minutes. After the game, which the Jazz won 144-96, Bucks coach Del Harris remarked, "I knew Karl wanted to make a statement. I just didn't know he was going to write a whole book."

Joe Montana Is The Balls

That's basically the main point of the feature article. Nothing too exciting to be honest. Just a lot of (admittedly deserved) talk about how great the offense was against Denver. How they all felt ridiculously confident going into the game after watching the Broncos on film. A dejected John Elway saying, "can't you let a guy sulk in peace," to the paparazzi after the game. A smattering of Matt Millen quotes. Picture of Joe Montana holding up a picture of his daughters in the locker room. Picture of Joe Montana walking onto the field. Picture of Joe Montana scrambling. Picture of Joe Montana talking to Steve Young and Steve Bono at halftime. Picture of Joe Montana eating a hamburger with his dad in the trainer's room after the game. That's about all.

Nine & Nine

From the story on Media Day comes this factoid...As of 1990 Joe Montana, Kenny Stabler and Terry Bradshaw had combined for 9 Super Bowl rings and 9 wives.

The Rise of UConn

Outside a largely unnecessary 3-page story on Jack Nicklaus joining the Senior Tour, the first story after the Super Bowl stuff focuses on a tight Big East race and the emergence of the UConn Huskies. Some highlights from that piece...

-Several mentions of the immortal Nadav Henefeld, described as "a deft outside shooter with the passing and pilfering skills of a much smaller man." The story also describes how "the man they call The Dove" was not rattled by the "lewd woofing" of Alonzo Mourning in a win over Georgetown.

-Another immortal, St. John's Malik Sealy, is summarized in two words..."willowy finesse." Which, if you saw him play in college, kind of makes sense.

-Jayson Williams (the same Jayson Williams who was involved in that incident with the limo driver that was killed with a shotgun on his property) is mentioned in a blurb about St. John's winning at Providence, a place that hadn't be kind to the Redmen in recent years. Oddly enough, this is how he's mentioned...

"Two years ago we lost and I ended up in jail," said Williams, who had been charged with assault - the charge was later dropped - for chucking a chair at a spectator that evening. "Tonight we won, and I'm free."

More College Hoop

Skipping relatively boring articles on the retirement of legendary jockey Bill Shoemaker and the Australian Open (won by Ivan Lendl and Steffi Graf) we come to the College Basketball Report, which includes the following...

-Clarence "Big House" Gaines is profiled after joining Adolph Rupp in the 800-win club. Got to respect a man with the nickname "Big House." 800 wins is a hell of a lot of wins too.

-In the SEC write-up is a note about LSU blowing an 11-point lead to Georgia in the final 5 minutes of a game thanks to missing the front-end of 10 straight one-and-ones.

-Also in the SEC write-up is this bit on the state of the Florida Gators...

Florida, a preseason pick to contend with LSU for the SEC title, thanks largely to 7'2" center Dwayne Schintzius and 6'7" forward Livingston Chatman, staggered into Baton Rouge for last Saturday's game without those frontliners. Chatman had quit the team on Jan. 14, claiming he was "burned out." Last week Schintzius joined him, even though a student review board had forgiven him for his role in a fraternity-house fracas on Jan. 13. DeVoe, however, said he wouldn't take Schintzius back from a suspension that began on Jan. 15 unless he lost weight and got a haircut. Schintzius got a trim, then quit anyway."

-And, finally, The Small College Player of the Week was Shawnee State's Joe Smith. Among his accomplishments for the week were 19 points in an 88-87 defeat of Dyke College. Insert your own joke here.

Past S.I. reviews
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/11/old-si-review-november-21-1988.html
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/10/old-si-review-december-6-1993.html
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/10/old-si-review-december-8-1980.html
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/10/old-si-review-october-21-1991.html
http://homeofthedory.blogspot.com/2006/09/old-si-review-june-26-1989.html

Baseball is Better Now

2007-01-26T09:04:00.000-05:00

Dan Fox over at Baseball Prospectus wrote a great article looking at, among other things, why the game of baseball has improved over the past century. Most of it is fairly obvious, but he goes in some depth about it and presents an interesting read. The evidence he came up with was:

-The increasing size and changing demographics of the talent pool
-The evidence of increased athletic prowess in sports with absolute rather than relative accomplishments
-The standardization and increased efficiencies in strategies and styles of play
-Better technology and medical care
-Decreasing variation in measures such as batting average as a sign that player skills are moving toward the "right wall" of human ability
-Direct (albeit) relative measurement along multiple metrics including relative EqA, fielding statistics, and pitcher hitting

Seems about right, but the reason I am wanted to share the article was one chart in particular. He looked at the average age and weight of players at their debut, in each decade:

Average Height and Weight By Decade of Debut
Decade Height (in) Weight (lb)
1870s ----68.9------162.9
1880s-----69.8 ------170.0
1890s-----70.2------171.7
1900s-----70.7------174.4
1910s-----71.0------172.5
1920s-----71.1------173.6
1930s-----71.8------179.6
1940s ----72.2------183.0
1950s ----72.6------186.1
1960s----72.9------188.3
1970s----73.1------188.5
1980s----73.3------191.2
1990s----73.5------193.7
2000s----73.7 -----196.8

So nearly 30 pounds heavier and 4 inches taller...

Read the article, he looks at whether or not the increase in bulk of players is directly correlated with the decrease in triples. I thought it was a pretty interesting read

About Time

2007-01-26T08:28:00.000-05:00

Red Sox and J.D Drew finally reach a deal after 7 weeks. Man, that took a long time.

The language is similar to that in Magglio Ordonez's deal with the Detroit Tigers. Boras and the players' association agreed that if the Red Sox exercise their rights under that language, neither Drew nor the union would contend that the language is unenforceable.

So the Sox took their time and now have a deal in place with a saftey net. Rotoworld explains what came out of the 2 month negotiation nicely:

If Drew goes on the disabled list with a right shoulder problem in the third year of the deal, the Sox can void the final two years of the contract. If he is disabled in the fourth year, the Sox can void the final year of the deal.

I am very happy with this signing overall. They have a guy who will be more productive than Nixon and tagged some insurance onto the deal in the end. Well played IMO. That really sets up our front of the lineup, now to get a closer.

Craftmatic Adjustable Bed

2007-01-25T14:36:00.000-05:00

Wow. A colleague of mine is looking for some furniture and we were half-jokingly looking at the “free” category on craigslist, which is often an event in itself. One of the postings was for a 2 year old Craftmatic Adjustable Bed. This, to me, seemed funny… so we dug a little deeper, checked out some of the customer testimonials and opened up a gold mine of comedy:

"The Craftmatic Bed is a godsend, really, really, really!"
-Really?

"Thank you and the people at Craftmatic for resolving the problem for my wife with her feeling the springs in our mattress. As you suggested, I called customer service and we have been sent two pillow tops which have resolved the problem. It is good to find a company that backs up its products with quick and efficient service. Thank you again for your prompt, courteous and quick resolution of the mattress problem. It is good to know that at least Craftmatic takes the problems of its customers seriously. Each day is a precious gift."
-Who is the first person he is thanking? Also, I think that last line may be taking it a bit to far... I mean it's a f'n bed.

"I would buy my Craftmatic Bed right now if I were you. Don't do what we did and wait years because you're going to get so many benefits out of having the bed. I'd recommend the Craftmatic Bed to anybody. It's an investment in good sleep, good rest, and good health, and good sex!"
-Well, you are not me and that last line just made me throw up in my mouth.

"I don't have any regrets concerning my Craftmatic Bed. In fact, we're thinking about buying another Craftmatic Bed!""We did go out and look at flat beds. At box springs and mattresses and headboards. And after we looked at all of them and added them all up, it was so close to what I paid for my Craftmatic Bed, that I'd have been a fool to buy anything else."
-Two, why in gods name would you buy another one? Your children certainly don't need this thing... is this going in the guest room?

Lyrics Question

2007-01-25T11:05:00.000-05:00

Can someone explain to me what the 2nd verse of Mr. Jones is all about...

I will paint my picture
Paint my self in blue and red and black and grey
All of the beautiful colors are very very meaninful
(You know) Grey is my favorite color
I felt so symbolic yesterday
If I knew Picasso
I would buy myself a grey guitar and play

Especially the Picasso part.

Bauer Hour

2007-01-24T10:33:00.000-05:00

Why would anyone not listen to what Jack Bauer has to say at this point? I think that every single new president, advisor, or any one else who works in a position of power on 24 should be forced to sit down and watch all the previous seasons on DVD before they make any decisions moving forward. The guy's track record is spotless... he kills with out a blink of the eye and puts the damned country before everything else in his life. AHH...

Mixtape #2

2007-01-23T10:25:00.000-05:00

Before I rattle off my list I have to mention this exchange between Tracy Morgan and Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock two weeks ago...

Tracy: I'm gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins?
Baldwin's character: I've got two ears and a heart, don't I?

On to my list....

1975: Love Will Keep Us Together - Captain & Tennille
1976: Silly Love Songs - Wings
1977: Gonna Fly Now (Theme from Rocky) - Bill Conti
1978: Shadow Dancing - Andy Gibb
1979: Ring My Bell - Anita Ward
1980: Coming Up - Paul McCartney & Wings
1981: Bette Davis Eyes - Kim Carnes
1982: Don't You Want Me - Human League
1983: Flashdance...What A Feeling - Irene Cara
1984: When Doves Cry - Prince
1985: Sussudio - Phil Collins
1986: There'll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry) - Billy Ocean
1987: I Wanna Dance With Somebody - Whitney Houston
1988: Dirty Diana - Michael Jackson
1989: Baby Don't Forget My Number - Milli Vanilli
1990: Step By Step - New Kids On The Block
1991: Rush Rush - Paula Abdul
1992: Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-A-Lot
1993: That's The Way Love Goes - Janet Jackson
1994: I Swear - All-4-One
1995: Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman - Bryan Adams
1996: Tha Crossroads - Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
1997: I'll Be Missing You - Puff Daddy
1998: The Boy Is Mine - Brandy & Monica
1999: If You Had My Love - Jennifer Lopez
2000: Be With You - Enrique Iglesias
2001: U Remind Me - Usher
2002: Hot In Herre - Nelly
2003: This Is The Night - Clay Aiken
2004: Burn - Usher
2005: Inside Your Heaven - Carrie Underwood
2006: Do I Make You Proud - Taylor Hicks

That list sucks and it stinks and it sucks. Three American Idols? Ugh.

Mixtape

2007-01-23T08:37:00.000-05:00

With the talk about pop music a couple posts ago, I got to thinking about pop music in my lifetime. If I were to create a mix tape of my life, songs I was listening to each year growing up, would it look anything like the charts. The answer is a resounding no. I went through the billboards for the past 25 years and checked out which song was number one on my birthday, each year. This is what I found:

1: “Eye of the Tiger” - Survivor
2: “Every Breath You Take” - The Police
3: “Ghostbusters” - Ray Parker Jr.
4: “The Power of Love” - Huey Lewis and the News
5: “Papa Don’t Preach” – Madonna
6: “Whose that Girl” – Madonna
7: “Roll with it” – Steve Winwood
8: “Right Here Waiting” – Richard Marx
9: “Vision of Love” – Mariah Carey
10: “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” – Bryan Adams
11: “End of the Road” – Boyz II Men
12: “Can’t Help Falling in Love with You” – UB40
13: “Stay” – Lisa Loeb
14: “Waterfalls – TLC
15: “Macarena” – Los Del Rio
16: “I’ll Be Missing You” – PDiddy
17: “The Boy is Mine” - Brandy and Monica
18: “Genie in a Bottle” – Christina Aguilera
19: “Incomplete” – Sisqo
20: “Fallin’” – Alicia Keys
21: “Dilemma” – Nelly
22: “Crazy in Love” – Beyonce and Jay-Z
23: “Lean Back” – The Terror Squad
24: “We Belong Together” – Mariah Carey
25: “London Brigde” – Fergie

Ok. So just go ahead and cross off everything from 14 on. I mean, sure… I have heard these songs… but I have never voluntarily said to my self, “Someone better throw in Sisqo NOW or I’m going to lose my Freakin mind”. Is there really a mix worthy song on the list? If you were laying on your death bed years from now and your grandson asked you what songs were important to you growing up, would any of these be the songs? I mean, I love Ghostbusters as much as the next guy… but the song just does not define who I was, am, or ever will be. I think that people like music on different levels. There are those who like beat and bass, those use music to fill the blank void of silence, those who like what they are told to like, and then there are those of us who enjoy every aspect of music. There are those of us who genuinely relate what is going on in our lives to music they listen too. There is a relationship between a good musician and their fans, because the band is giving them something to think about within the content of a song. It doesn’t have to be sewn into the lyrics either, it’s in the melody and rhythm of a song. With the exception of one or two, I can’t believe that any of the songs on that list really connect with people on that level. It’s not that they are bad songs, they have their spot in the lineup… but to me, these types of songs don’t resonate beyond just being noise.

Where is my FREAKING phone!!!

2007-01-21T13:15:00.000-05:00

Couldn't agree more with Machon's evaluation of The Office lately. They're absolutely on fire right now. Great episode after great episode. In honor of this week we've got to post the cell phone prank...

"I don't trust you Phyllis!"

Clearing My Mind

2007-01-21T11:17:00.000-05:00

Things that I have been thinking about lately:

-Why were Starter jackets ever popular? I guess Starter was the first company to really co-brand their product with professional sport leagues and there is the whole “Tipping Point” theory. But the jackets made you look like Violet Beauregarde after chewing on Wonka's magic chewing gum.

-I can’t remember the last time I had a vanilla frappe/shake. I mean, for my first ten years I had an exclusive contract with vanilla and now I would never consider it. Maybe I should.

-What type of mother did LL Cool J have? Why was she telling him to go around knocking out people? Should someone have contacted social services?

-How the hell does the Nintendo Gun work? Someone tried to explain some reflective theory to me and I am sure it’s right… but doesn’t that seem a bit ahead of its time?

-I have a feeling a lot of people are going to lose quite a bit of money on the Bears/Saints game this weekend.

-Where does the current Office streak of phenomenal episodes stand in sitcom history? Since The Merger, every episode has been killer. Every single Thursday, you can count on sitting down at 8:30 and laughing your ass off.

-It’s nice that the Chargers have so many people going to the Pro-Bowl… with all the time to prepare, the AFC should win in a landslide. Now that’s a game I may bet on.

-How long until a Baseball Beckett is worth more than the cards in it? I was looking through one a couple weeks ago and my god… talk about demand falling quickly.

-I am getting used to this no snow thing on the east coast.

-Maybe it’s time for me to switch up my haircut. I have been saying “2 on the sides and take the top down” for 14 years. The problem is, I don’t know what else to say. Every time I go into get my haircut I am prepared to do something different. Then they ask me how I like it and I repeat verbatim the aforementioned sentence. The only other haircuts I know are: the whiffle, the flat top, and the fade and I sported one of those three every other year I have been alive. Any ideas here? Anything?

-Do people who listen to popular rap today like the same rap music that we do here. Do they listen to the latest Lil’ Wayne song, then pop in The Low End Theory? There was a divide in the early 1990’s in the hip-hop culture. About the same time the Biggie and Tupac stuff went down, it divided into two camps. Rap, with its crystal, 24 inch rims, and butchering of the English language, began to represent the genre at the mainstream level. This did not happen overnight, but it has happened. Hip-hop, the intellectual and socially driven form of the genre, submerged into the underground and now you either don’t know or you know. I wonder what type of world we would be living with if the two paths were switched. If A Tribe Called Quest never broke up and became what Wu-Tang was in the mid to late 90’s. I imagine things would be different if it were De La Soul, Tribe, and the Jungle Brothers were being played on local radio stations instead of Nelly, DMX, and Ludicrous. I think about that a lot.

Flyers on PRISM

2007-01-19T11:20:00.000-05:00

Got to love this clip for a number of reasons....

First and foremost...Cooperalls. Plus the vintage graphics. The music. Doc Emrick on the mic. A brief cameo by the Colorado Rockies. Top notch all the way around.

Girl Scout Cookies

2007-01-18T10:28:00.000-05:00

Apparently, it's Girl Scout cookie time. My Mom called me the other day to let me know she's putting in an order and to see if I wanted anything. Which, of course, I do. There's a giant order form hanging up on the office fridge. And the train station near my house has been overrun for weeks with screaming girl scouts trying to drum up business.

As with almost everything, Wikipedia has some good info on Girl Scout cookies. In particular, I enjoyed their breakdown of the highest selling cookies from a recent season...

As of 2004, the best selling Girl Scout cookies are:

* Thin Mints (25% of total sales)*
* Samoas/ (19%)*
* Tagalongs/ (13%)*
* Do-si-dos (11%)*
* Trefoils/ (9%)*

Obviously, it's no surprise that Thin Mints are #1. Everyone loves Thin Mints. Show me someone that doesn't include Thin Mints in a Girl Scout cookie order and I'll show you someone I just don't trust. Thin Mints straight out of the freezer is about as great a cookie experience as you can have in my opinion.

As for the rest of the top sellers....I'm not a Samoas guy. Don't like coconut. People who like them are pretty fanatical though so I guess I can't begrudge them the 2-hole. After Thin Mints, Tagalongs are my second favorite Girl Scout cookie. Always thought they were a little underrated. Love the classic chocolate/peanut butter combo. Do-si-dos are those Oreo-style peanut butter sandwich cookies. Not a big fan. And Trefoils? Those are the plain ones with the creepy Girl Scout logo on them. Terrible. To steal an oft-used quote from my dad, "I wouldn't eat those with your mouth."

Looking For Some Furniture?

2007-01-17T08:49:00.000-05:00

Well, head on down here...

Welcome to the Classy Parade

2007-01-15T14:33:00.000-05:00

Wow.

The emails are flying fast and furious today. Instead of a well-structured analysis, here are clips from Patriot emails that are zipping around about the unarmed robbery in San Diego:

- Sitting with the players' families was an experience. Much to write tomorrow, too drained now. For now, let me just say that after going to all 3 Super Bowl. W's this one was just a little different. Road game at a VERY loud stadium. Draining. What was unreal to me was that I had to tell all the pats families that the 2 point conversion would of course be the Faulk direct snap. That's the only 2 point play we have. How did the Chargers not know that was coming? Being at the game, especially in pats section, I still have yet to get explanation for why Marty didn't kick a FG in first qtr on 4th and 11 at our 30 or why he reviewed that fumble in the 4th qtr and blew a time out. Banta-Cains family and Graham's family said they are both gone in off season.

- That's my second favorite non-Super Bowl game ever, after the Snow Bowl. I could read stuff about this all day. I learned a few things:

1. You can beat the Chargers, that's okay. But DO NOT mimic the Lights Out dance. That's not acceptable.

2. Marty just challenged Kaeding's missed FG.

You Stay Classy, San Diego.

- Don’t forget, he was also attempting to give up ANOTHER time out before the 2 point conversion but the refs didn’t see it. As John said, how can you not be prepared for that? The two things you can’t allow if the Pats lineup for a two point conversion:

-The Faulk Direct Snap Play
-Not having D Linemen over the center gaps to allow Brady to sneak easy

Those are the two things you have to take away. If you do that, Brady will have to audible out of the first option.

- This is fantastic:
"And when the Pats’ thrilling, 24-21 divisional playoff win over the Chargers was in the books early last night, Rosevelt Colvin came off the field at Qualcomm Stadium with fire flying from his mouth.
“Shut the power off!” shrieked Colvin down a hallway to a group of Chargers players entering their locker room.
His voice echoed off the walls, and stadium security guards began to inch off their posts in anticipation of a Chargers player going at the Pats linebacker.
“It’s lights out!” continued Colvin, mocking the nickname of Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman. “See you next year, chumps!”"

-Colvin is a nasty bastard. I love it.
From Peter King:

b. LaDainian Tomlinson's fiery words about the Patriots. It's a great controversy for us. They sounded small coming from a guy who'd just tasted bitter defeat. And it is no mortal sin for a visiting team to imitate the sack dance of the hometown hero. Happens every week.

- Another favorite part: how about the Chargers fans going bonkers for the 15 yard celebration penalty! They thought they got a re-kick!

- Rosie's INT was a great play. GREAT play (should have had at least 5 tacked on maybe 15 too.)

-Love it...How the hell does this guy get away with not wearing a headset! "Hmmm, I wonder what Cam has called in this crucial 3rd down...can't wait to find out!"

- Let's just say that the pats family members aint the most knowledgeable crew. I called that Faulk 2 point conversion the moment they scored the TD. Yes they ran it from a different formation but its the only 2 point play they got. The crowd around me thought I was the Messiah when my prediction about the play call came to fruition. Every 3rd and long for SD and I would yell "it's Tully time", much to the ebulliation of the Banta-Cains.

- Crowd was LOUD. And relentless. at Gillette or the Meadowlands, the minute the road team gets a first down after being pinned back deep, the crowd goes comatose. In SD, they got up for every big play. Stadium, unlike its 70's multi-sport brethren, is nice.

- I need to watch the film tonight. Didn't graham have a drop?

- At tailgate, some guy with powder blue 21 jersey had direct tv so everyone is huddled around watching seahawks-bears. One guy in a 37 Shawn Alexander jersey is going bonkers and I turn to him and query politely why the hell he is in the parking lot huddled around a tv in lieu of being at home watching his team on a 50 inch plasma. He seemed puzzled by the query. California

- To answer Question 7. I believe the "broad" on the sidelines with Belichick was his long haired, pot smoking older son Steven.

- I think they abandoned the run not because they couldn't run at all but because it was impossible to pass without spreading the field. Play action would never work, ends were too fast. They also had to run plays before the play clock got inside 3 seconds or Merriman would time it. So, since they HAD to spread the field to run pass plays (and not make Brady go into a blind drop), it didn't make sense to run because you would need to shuttle people in and out every play and because it would be deathly obvious (maybe not to Marty) when a run was coming vs the spread for the pass. The play action was eliminated, thus the spread.

- I loathe Ben Watson

- After the absolutely startling conclusion, Chargers fans, as loud as they were all game, just politely walked out. Pats fans were screaming "we want peyton" and "yankees suck". At the meadowlands, I am loud all game but when filing out I take off the pats hat and zipper the sweatshirt over the pats jersey. Here, there was no trepidation. And, the fans at the meadowlands woulda been sitting in their seats for an extra 20 minutes stunned

- This Sunday, Brady = 17 attempts

- Meanwhile, can you guys imagine if they actually end up going to the Superbowl after letting Branch, Givens, Vinatieri and McGinnest walk, with Caldwell and Gaffney as their top receivers? We think BB is arrogant now? Fuhgettabout it. He'll be out of control. He'll trade Brady for a tight end so he can prove he can win with Cassell. I still don't know how the hell we won that game. Think Seattle would like a do over on the Branch trade. Sitting at home and the Pats have the 22nd pick - not bad. Although I wish we had Branch Sunday.

- 1:00 AM EDT on Monday, October 3, 2005 BY TOM E. CURRAN Providence Journal Sports WriterFOXBORO -- One after the other, sweaty, smiling members of the San Diego Chargers walked through the massive concrete artery that leads to the visitors locker room in Gillette Stadium. As they walked, tearing grass-stained tape from their hands, they gloated aloud about their just-finished, 41-17 hammering of the New England Patriots."That's a [butt]-whipping," said defensive coordinator Wade Phillips. "21-1, now," tackle Leander Jordan announced, referring to the Patriots' punctured 21-game home winning streak."[Bleep] New England and their team," suggested cornerback Drayton Florence. Florence then said to the collection of onlookers in the hallway. "Get the look of shock off your faces. Don't be shocked. We beat your [butt]."

- Wrong on Question 7. Daughter Amanda

Steve was in the parking lot, buying an ounce from a guy in a Nate Newton jersey

Another Example

2007-01-12T14:44:00.000-05:00

Here's a perfect example of what I was talking about it my last post...

I mean, Dallas Green got name-checked in that one. We need a comprehensive site for these, broken down by team, ASAP.

Raymond Berry's Pats

2007-01-12T14:04:00.000-05:00

You know what we need? We need someone to start a website that posts nothing but sports-related song parodies, jingles and theme songs. You're telling me you wouldn't enjoy a site that had that Bernie Kosar song they made up back in the 80's in Cleveland, T.O.'s rap about joining the Cowboys or Jess Cain's 1967 classic, "The Man We Call Yaz?" I know I would. And I think someone needs to capture these things before they get completely lost to history. There's too much comedy at stake not to do it.

Take "Raymond Berry's Pats," a snappy little number they used to play on the local airwaves during the Pats '86 Super Bowl run and featured lyrics like this...

"My name is Raymond Berry and I'm proud of all my men
Tell Richard Dent and Payton that we're not afraid of them
Oh, we took Don Shula and Al Davis, Ditka here's our plan
We'll defrost the Refrigerator, then shut down McMahon."

and this...

"Our offense, folks, it rarely chokes...this year we've won close games
The stars are Hannah, Holloway, Collins and Craig James
Oh, there's scoring from Morgan and Eason's the reason Chicago will finally collapse
We are a team of destiny....we're Raymond Berry's Pats."

I think we need to start tracking this stuff down ASAP.

Bend It Like Homer

2007-01-12T09:47:00.000-05:00

"The first thing he (Beckham) needs to do is get himself a part on 'The Simpsons' as a guest star," quipped Richard Laermer, a marketing expert.

Really Rich? I'm no "expert" but I do work in the marketing field and, believe me, I respect 'The Simpsons'. All that being said, I hardly think that the FIRST thing he needs to do is get himself on the 19th season on The Simpsons. He's already kinda established as a megastar and, to be honest, people aren't really watercoolering Homer Simpson anymore. I think all they need to do is hit The Ivy once with Katie and Tom and off they go....

http://www.nypost.com/seven/01122007/news/nationalnews/its_beck_to_the_future_nationalnews_clemente_lisi.htm

Bo vs. Roenick: The Age Old Debate

2007-01-11T17:32:00.000-05:00

I am going to settle the age old question: who is the better video game athlete, Bo or Roenick?

To me it is crystal clear and while I like 94 much better, Bo was and is the more dominating of the two.

Let’s begin with looking at the landscape of 94. Roenick was great, but if I was forced to play one game for my life, I would not choose the Blackhawks. My choice would undoubtedly be Buffalo. In fact, the Blackhawks are not present in my top 8 favorite teams in the game, which are:

Buffalo
Boston
Calgary
Montreal
Winnipeg
Rangers
Penguins
Kings

While many people say Jeremy was “unstoppable”, every seasoned NHL 94 player knows this to be false. The thing that makes him so good is the fact he is tough to knock down. However, if you just utilize the hook (A button) you can tie him up pretty easily. The Blackhawks are certainly a great team, but that has just as much to do with Eddie the eagle as it does Roenick.

This is not true for Tecmo Bowl. In the original, Bo is on his own planet. Not one player compares to him. There is no Mogilny, Bure, Bourque, or Fluery comparison in Tecmo Bowl. Bo is much better than Sweetness. He is so good, he can beat any team on his own. Sure, Tim Brown is a solid number 2, but make no mistake… Bo OWNS that game. There is no hook button to slow him down, he just tears through defenses. Furthermore, the better you and your friends get at NHL, the more of a non-factor Roenick becomes. If two people are playing that really know what they are doing, can control the goalie, and don’t rely on the same few moves every time, it becomes a level playing field with most teams. A poor 94 player will never beat a very good one, we know this. However, a bad Tecmo Bowl player may have a chance with Bo. That is the difference.

The Force himself:

Old Article on the greatness of NHL 94

3rd Period Blues

2007-01-09T21:57:00.000-05:00

I'll give the Boston Bruins credit. With tonight's loss in Ottawa, in a game where they led 2-0 going into the 3rd period, they officially made me curious. And the question they had me pondering was this..."are they really that bad when leading after 2 periods or does it just feel that way?" Because, even when they've held on to win, it feels like they're getting killed in the 3rd lately. So I looked it up. And here are the results:

2006-07 Boston Bruins Game Log when leading after 2 periods

Game 1 (Oct. 12 @ St. Louis) Led 1-0 after 2. Scored early in the 3rd to go up 2-0. Gave up two late goals and lost in a shootout. (Lost the 3rd, 2-1)

Game 2 (Oct. 19 vs. Calgary) Led 3-1 after 2. Won 3-2. (Lost the 3rd, 1-0)

Game 3 (Nov. 2 vs. Buffalo) Led 3-1 after 2. Scored early in the 3rd to go up 4-1. Gave up 3 late ones and lost in a shootout. (Lost the 3rd, 3-1)

Game 4 (Nov. 11 vs. Ottawa) Led 3-2 after 2. Ottawa tied it but Boston won it 4-3 on a Bergeron goal. (Tied the 3rd, 1-1)

Game 5 (Nov. 16 vs. Toronto) Led 1-0 after 2. Toronto tied in the 3rd but the B's won in OT. (Lost the 3rd, 1-0)

Game 6 (Nov. 22 @ Pittsburgh) Led 3-1 after 2. Pittsburgh scored twice in the 3rd, including a tying goal with :30 seconds to go, to send it to OT. Bruins ultimately won in a shootout. (Lost the 3rd, 2-0)

Game 7 (Nov. 25 @ Toronto) Led 2-0 after 2. Traded goals in the 3rd and won 3-1. (Tied the 3rd, 1-1)

Game 8 (Dec. 19 @ Ottawa) Led 5-1 going into the 3rd and won 7-2. (Won the 3rd, 2-1)

Game 9 (Dec. 21 vs. Vancouver) Led 2-0 after 2. Outshot 14-0 in the 3rd but held on for the shutout. (Tied the 3rd, 0-0)

Game 10 (Dec. 26 @ Columbus) Led 4-3 after 2. Gave up the tying goal with 23 seconds left and lost 5-4 in OT. (Lost the 3rd, 1-0)

Game 11 (Dec. 29 @ Chicago) Led 4-0 after 2. Gave up 3 goals in less than 6 minutes to start the 3rd and were lucky to get out of there with a 5-3 win after a huge save from Thomas and a late empty-netter. (Lost the 3rd, 3-1)

Game 12 (Jan. 6 vs. Philadelphia) Led 3-2 after 2. Went up 4-2 early in the 3rd and won 4-3. (Tied the 3rd, 1-1)

Game 13 (Jan. 9 @ Ottawa) Led 2-0 after 2. Lost 5-2. (Lost the 3rd, 5-0)

So that's 13 3rd period leads so far. Let's look at some stats from that baker's dozen.

Game Results
Regulation wins: 7
Regulation losses: 1
OT wins: 1
OT losses: 1
Shootout wins: 1
Shootout losses: 2

(7 regulation wins out of 13? Not so good. While they did recover 2 of those games in OT or a shootout, that essentially boils down to a loss of 8 points in the standings.)

3rd Period Winner
Bruins: 1
Opponents: 8
Tie: 4

(Pretty much speaks for itself. Only one time in 13 did the Bruins win the 3rd period.)

Total Goals
Bruins: 8
Opponents: 22

(Care to guess how many times have they held a team scoreless in the 3rd when entering with the lead? Try once. And that was the Vancouver game were they were outshot 14-0.)

Getting badly outshot isn't exactly a fluke either. Check out the shot totals against and for in those games:

13-6
19-12
17-8
18-6
20-4
14-0
9-6
11-11
9-13
10-8
11-5
9-13
14-7

They were outshot in 10 of those 13 periods. And most of them weren't even close.

So I guess that sums it up. Are the Bruins really that bad with a lead? Yeah, pretty much. At least so far. I'm not entirely sure why they're so bad, although I have my theories. A lot of youth. Some shaky coaching. A starting goalie that, at least in my mind, isn't as good as he's made out to be at times. Regardless, it's been discouraging to watch.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah....

2007-01-08T16:27:00.000-05:00

When's the last time you saw Elton John's "I'm Still Standing" video? A year ago? Five years ago? Ten years ago? I'm guessing, if you're like me, you have a vague memory of it at best. Elton's at some kind of beach resort with...uhhh...painted dancers? Something like that? Well, yes. But you can't fully appreciate it until you take it all in again. And, heaven forbid, you've never seen it? Well, please sit back and enjoy.....

Michael Cera

2007-01-08T12:55:00.000-05:00

This kid is talented and any fan of AD already knows this. He made this parody of Aleksey Vayner's, "Impossible is Nothing" for McSweeney's Presents: The World, Explained :

Album Cover

2007-01-08T10:50:00.000-05:00

-Chick Willis with Blues: because he will most certainly be arrested and held without bail once people start to get wind of this situation. At first, I thought he was just having his girlfriend call him "daddy" but after listening to the song... I am not sure those were Chick's intentions.

-Chick still calls himself the "Stoop down man" today, it is even on his business card, which in my book puts him directly behind Tobias Funke's Analrapist card.

-The title song was considered too raunchy to be played on the radio, but turned out to be a huge jukebox hit. Does that happen anymore? Are there still huge jukebox hits? Furthermore, was there some committee that bar-hopped daily to discover this or did the jukeboxes have enough technology that they could keep track? I would have to imagine that in today's world, keeping track and calculating true jukebox hits would be very simple... Unfortunately, I could probably give you the top three:

1. Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
2. Piano Man - Billy Joel
3. Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond

If not everywhere, they certainly would be the top three in every college town.

-Speaking of bars, what would happen if you walked up to some girl at a bar and actually tried this line? Someone out there, for the love of everything holy, give it a try and report back here immediately.

Something's Missing

2007-01-06T09:30:00.000-05:00

It's going to be 70 f'n degrees in NY today. 70! This is going to be the tamest weather on Wild Card weekend since the NFL was the first league to incorporate the concept in 1970. With two games in the east and one in a dome, only Seattle will have to deal with the chance of some cold weather… but lets face it, It's Gonna Rain.

That being said, I am not sure how happy I am about the weather. On a personal level, I am thrilled. The last thing I would want to be doing is shoveling snow, but isn’t the crappy conditions and cold weather part of the NFL playoff charm? What other sport puts their games in the hand of mother nature like football and when are they more at her mercy than the playoffs. In the confines of a football stadium, do harsh weather conditions not make for memorable moments? The Snow Bowl at Foxboro, “The Greatest Game Ever Played”, 1934 Bears vs. Giants at the Polo Grounds, “The Snow Plow Game”, and the list could go on. These are the games that live in the stories passed on. Even back when we played as kids, wasn’t it the pick up games in the mud and snow that we cherished? Nothing was better than coming home, covered in mud, scrapes, and bruises and chugging some hot chocolate by the fire. Well, there will be no hot chocolate this year and with “field turf” everywhere, there will be little mud. (Note: I do like field turf, but it does strip some romanticism from the fan and historical perspective.) Not to mention, our beloved Patriots have a spectacular record in nasty weather games.

Either way, we have two great days of football and I think that the chalks beat the dogs in every case. If there has to be one upset, I like the Chiefs. They match up well against the Colts and if Peyton is not hitting his men early, watch out. The four best teams in the NFL are in the AFC and I expect them all to face off next weekend... and yes, I will be hoping for some snow.

Vintage Fung Wah

2007-01-04T13:30:00.000-05:00

From boston.com, this story doesn't surprise me one bit....

Fung Wah bus runs into trouble on turnpike

By Mac Daniel, Globe Staff

In the latest trouble for the Fung Wah discount bus line, the wheels literally fell off a New York-to-Boston bus on the Massachusetts Turnpike today.

None of the 30 passengers on board were injured, but State Police cited the company after two of the tandem rear wheels on the right side of the bus detached from the vehicle's rear axle as it was headed from New York to Boston.

The lesson, as always....if someone offers you a $10 ride from New York City to Boston...assume the worst.

"Good Luck Man"

2007-01-03T15:04:00.000-05:00

Wow, just wait for 50 seconds into this clip. Raitis Ivanans and Georges Laraque go at it while Laraque is hooked up to a mic.

"You want to... Ok, Square Up"

Deep Thoughts

2007-01-03T11:52:00.000-05:00

I was always a big fan of "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handy, back when they used to air on SNL. And I don't know what made me think of it but I had one in my head this morning on the way into work. So I decided, for this post, to look up Deep Thoughts online and list my all-time top ten. I present them below in no particular order...

1) If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.

2) It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

3) Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

4) To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

5) Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

6) If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

7) One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late.

8) If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

9) When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.

10) The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Cruising Forward

2007-01-03T11:25:00.000-05:00

Not many actors, I believe, are more batshit crazy than Tom Cruise. When he fired his publicist a couple years back, brought on his equally crazy sister, and lost his mind on Oprah, it all surfaced. Looking back, it all made sense. From his ridiculous karate pool antics in The Color of Money to his portrayal of Cole Trickle, he fit the bill. My question is, does it affect his career? At first, I thought I would never be able to look at his roles the same, but I find myself watching TC movies constantly. In fact, this week alone I have watched Cocktail, A Few Good Men, The Last Samurai, and The Color of Money... and it's Wednesday! Now, I may not have watched them in their entirety, but I was flipping to them in between commercials during bowl games. So I found myself thinking about TC’s movie career and how much it will change down the road. And the thing that occurred to me is, if he has always been this crazy… why quit on him now. The man has made 33 movies and I can only count a handful of ones I did not like a lot. Some are unintentionally genius, some are just real good… but the fact is, the guy makes entertaining movies. I guess what I am saying is this, TC has not changed, it is our perception of him that has and for that I saw keep on keepin’ on Tom… I will be watching.

I'm Not Done Yet...

2007-01-02T01:27:00.000-05:00

I have to add one more post about that game. I'm sorry. It has to be done. It was that good. I mean, a hook and lateral and a Statue of Liberty in the same game? Was I dreaming or did that really happen? Good Lord, what a game. WHAT A GAME!!!

18 point 2nd-half comeback. Tipped-ball TD. A 7-yard two-point conversion after two penalties. Back-breaking INT of the highest order. Hook and freaking lateral on 4th and freaking 18. 25-yard TD run on the 1st play of OT. Ballsy call on 4th and 2 for a TD. Even ballsier call to go for 2 and the win. EVEN BALLSIER call to run the Statue of freaking Liberty. Game over. Unreal.

Oh yeah...and an incredibly bizarre live proposal from one of the players to his cheerleader girlfriend. Does that cover it?

Are You Kidding Me?

2007-01-02T01:17:00.000-05:00

I'm way too tired to write anything in-depth but, I'm sorry, the 4th quarter and OT of that Oklahoma-Boise State Fiesta Bowl deserves to be honored immediately. All I can say is wow. That was un-freakin-believable.

Broken Branch

2006-12-29T08:40:00.000-05:00

"Former Patriots WR Deion Branch spoke about his most recent performance, which included four dropped passes in the Seahawks' 20-17 loss to the Chargers on Sunday. Branch's comments are detailed in this Associated Press piece.
"I feel I let everybody down. My teammates. Friends. Family," Branch said. "I never want to have that feeling again."
Branch has played in 13 games for the Seahawks this season, and has totaled 50 catches and four touchdowns."

Listen, I love Deion Branch. I named a mix CD after him at one point because of his contributions. But can we please start to acknowledge that he isn't Jerry Rice? For one quick second? He's got 50 catches. For comparison, Reche Caldwell has 57. Granted, it would be nice to have Branch and Caldwell in the same WR corps (in my mind, Caldwell is definitely as good as David Givens. Both were elevated by Thomas Brady). But in the end, another team valued Deion Branch as a carry-the-team #1 WR....and he's not.

It looked ugly early as Brady struggled with timing and learning about each particular talent. It takes time to figure out that Doug Gabriel can't handle Patriot Life and Caldwell is a good listener and has worked his way to learn what Brady wants. But don't you think Belichick knew that his team could compete well enough for the first 8 weeks during this stretch? This team is about to win 12 games. 12-4! We were juicy for excitement in 1996 when the Bledsoe/Parcells Pats stole the 11th win at Giants Stadium in the last week of the season. How things change....now the Pats run up a ho-hum 12-win division title and the Bruins and Celts would set off warning alarms by even suiting up for a Game 7 playoff tilt at the TD...try selling that to someone in 1983.

You Got Far Enough

2006-12-26T14:01:00.000-05:00

Just heard 'Summer of '69' blaring through Duane Reade's drug store-quality sound system...this caught my ears:

"Me and some guys from school

Had a Band and we tried real hard

Jimmy quit and Jody got married

I shoulda known we'd never get far

Oh when I lock back now

That summer seemed to last forever

And if I had the choice

Ya - I'd always wanna be there

Those were the best days of my life"

Maybe, Bryan, those were in fact the best days of your life. However, I'm willing to bet Jimmy and Jody wished they had stuck it out at least through '(Everything I Do) I Do It For You', you know, for the cash flow.

The 3 Spot

2006-12-26T13:17:00.000-05:00

So the NFL has moved the Dolphins at Colts to 4:15 pm. Nice. So now, the Pats need to win at 1 PM and derail the Vince Young Express and pray the Fins can topple the wayward Colts to get that 3 seed, which may be super valuable this year in the AFC. As for Wild Card implications, whether its the Jets, Broncos, Bengals, Titans or Jags, it doesn't really matter, they've faced them all and they'll need to gut out that first home game. Then, the 3 seed would draw the Ravens the following week. Frankly, I can't imagine the Pats losing that game....as well as the Ravens have played, I'm not convinced they can beat Brady. As for the AFC Championship Game, could the Colts somehow derail MartyBall in the second round? In that case, you could possibly have Colts in town for the AFC Championship game in Foxboro, where they have won two in a row. Funny, I'd rather head to sunny San Diego to see Schottenheimer try to take down Belichick.

Can the Fins beat the Colts in Indy? I don't know, but I do know the Texans team the Pats demolished two weeks ago and I can't believe they beat the Colts. Next weekend is going to be wild....

One Night

2006-12-24T20:59:00.000-05:00

How many times do you think you've heard U2's 'One'?

Have a Merry Christmas. Thanks for visiting our site.

Christmas Lists

2006-12-24T11:53:00.000-05:00

Here is a quick list of some Christmas greats in a number of genres:

Music:
-Jingle Bell Rock - Bruce Springsteen, Asbury Park, Dec. 2001. Hadley can weigh in more on this topic because he was at the show, but it is pretty amazing.

Movie:
-National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
-A Charlie Brown Christmas

Beer:
-Brooklyn Winter Ale. I would also recommend: Rogue's Santa's Private Reserve, Alesmith's Speedway Stout, Heavyweight Perkuno Hammer Imperial Porter

Food:
-For our family, it's always Chowder, Haddock, and Lobster on Christmas Eve. We have added a cheese plate the past few years that has become a staple. The cheese plate stepped in with a VORP somewhere between Travis Hafner and Ryan Howard.

Television:
-The Office: The Christmas Party & A Benihanna Christmas

Candy:-Andes Mints. Not sure why, I just always associate it with Christmas... and they sort of taste like what I imagine Christmas to taste like.

Activity:
-Trivial Pursuit. We always paired up and went at it while we waited for Midnight Mass to commence. Every year while we played I would vow to engage in the board game world more often, which of course never happened.

Dessert:
-Our favorite Italian Pastry Dessert... the Cannoli. It doesn't hurt when it's dipped in chocolate.

Santa's Gifts:
-We are firm believers that Santa's gifts are unwrapped, left on the couch, so when you come down stairs you are just completely overwhelmed. As you got older and learned to keep your head on a swivel, it became easier... but those first few years you loose yourself in the excitement. Also, wrapping presents is what us humans do... Santa and his elves have enough work to get done, never mind to individually wrap millions of presents. Furthermore, that has to take care of, at least, 3 rain forests.

Book:
-A Christmas Carol: Dickens. I know, but name a better one.

NBA:
-The Knicks have played a game on Christmas 44 times. The also have the most wins and the most losses
-Pistons have the worst record on Christmas at 10-22
-Most Points in a single Game: Bernard King. King put up 60 in 1984 in a 120-114 loss to the Nets
-Phil Jackson gets the “My Family Hates Me” Award for coaching a game every year on Christmas since 1990 with two exceptions, 1995 and 2004.

Lastly, Here is MSNBC's year in pictures. I have always been a sucker for this type of thing. Some of them are nice, some are not so nice... but, in the end, they keep you balanced.

Thanks for stopping by and Merry Christmas.

New Jersey Headache

2006-12-23T10:37:00.000-05:00

Not too long ago, I explained my disdain for the humdrum monotony of uniforms in sports today. After sifting through pictures of the Finnish Hockey League, I will take the current state of jersey's over what they are sporting every day of the week.

It gives me a headache to look at. Each player looks like a Nascar vehicle.

By the way, the picture is of Bruins goalie prospect Tuukka Rask. Rask is playing out of his skin in the Finnish league and will make a great addition to Providence shortly. I can't believe we were able to land Rask for Raycroft, which we may look back upon with disbelief in a few years (if you don't already). Here is a write up on Rask from Hockey's Future:

"For over ten years, goaltending has been the strongest position for Finland at U20 level. A returning WJC all-star in Tuukka Rask (BOS) erases any doubt that it will be the case this year as well. One of the quickest butterfly goalies in the world, he had 53 saves in a 1-0 overtime victory against Sweden in last year's quarterfinals. Rask has been in a challenging situation heading into each of his WJC tournaments. This fall he had as many starts as he could handle behind the grossly inconsistent Ilves team in the Finnish league, also preparing for international duties while taking care of military service, too. Despite this, Rask hasn't struggled much yet, and he has made progress on his weaknesses: consistency and rebound control."

You can catch Rask and other great NHL Prospects in the World Junior Championship, which starts on the 26th and can be watched on TSN.com.

-Sorry about the multiple Bruins post as of late, but we haven't felt this good about the squad in quite some time.

History Beckons

2006-12-21T20:20:00.000-05:00

We stopped watching wrestling a long time ago here in Freeze Pop Land but, every now and then, you have to pay homage to one of the greats. Here are two clips from a master of his craft...

Bowling for the Gutter

2006-12-21T15:44:00.000-05:00

It's a bit delayed, but it needs to be addressed. One Patriot makes the Pro Bowl when they have 10 wins in 14 weeks? Child, please. You're telling me not one or two out of Vrabel, Brady, Samuel, Mankins, Wilfork, Colvin and Warren should fly Oceanic to Honolulu? The whole process is dumb. Don Banks at SI.com gives us some insight to the voting, which seems to have less thought put behind it than any Who's Hotter vote currently on every gossip site in America.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/don_banks/12/19/pro.bowl/index.html

Toy Story

2006-12-21T10:31:00.000-05:00

Times Square is absolutely insane right now...4 days before Christmas, tourists shopping, workers carring Yankee Swap (we call it Nasty Christmas) bags and food trays for holiday parties, construction seemingly on every block....just a complete mess. Strolling through this morning, I saw a party of five of out-of-towners: mommy, daddy, overweight 9 year old boy and his two slightly younger sisters....mommy had them parked on the northwest corner of 44th and Broadway, giving them a wayward lesson on early morning television:

Mom: "Guys, this is where they have the Today Show! You know the show where they have signs...and they stand outside and people wave! You know, the one we watch at home....come on, with Al Roker? We watch it all the time! Let's look in the windows and see if we see anyone famous!"(editor's note: there is clearly nobody in the building. No cameras, no other fans, no humans of any sort)

Meanwhile, the 9 year old boy is screeching "Toys R Us! Toys R Us! Toys R Us!" at the top of his lungs. Hey mom, first of all, you are standing in front of ABC's Good Morning America set. Matt Lauer doesn't work here. Second, you've got your three lovelies mesmerized by the largest Toys R Us on the planet directly across the street. You could be introducing them to Jesus Christ Himself and it wouldn't alter their stupor. This is their big moment; it's like there two outs in the 10th and Gary Carter is coming to the plate. Let them in the freaking store.

(Sorry I couldn't type the backwards "R". My keyboard doesn't have that....)

Speaking of Ex-Bruins

2006-12-20T16:09:00.000-05:00

In case you were wondering how things are going for Hal Gill up in Toronto...

http://mirtle.blogspot.com/2006/12/gill-ty-as-charged.html

Perception vs Reality

2006-12-20T11:17:00.000-05:00

The Bruins took a beating for trading the Hart Trophy winner, Joe Thornton. Oh, did they ever...scores of people who hadn't watched a hockey game in 10 years were lamenting the loss of the great, unique, amazing Thornton who had led the Bruins to such great heights. What would they do without Joe? The franchise is doomed! I'll never watch them again! They are dead to me!

These people, for the most part, couldn't tell you three specific things about Thornton's game...and many conveniently forgot that he certainly had some serious flaws. I'll be the first to admit that he's an excellent passer, that he's nearly impossible to move from the back of the net, that he has a tremendous power-play pedigree. I will also remind you that he doesn't shoot the puck, that he takes dumb penalties and that his game is remarkably easy to shadow with an aggressive checking line in a playoff series. I also know this: that this was the Bruins' Scott Kazmir moment...but less destructive.

Hardcore Mets fans are convinced, for better or worse, that the Kazmir trade was necessary. It woke up the Wilpons from a string of terrible decisions and opened their eyes. They brought in Omar Minaya and expected better baseball decisions...and they were rewarded with countless smart, aggressive baseball decisions ever since. They are now in a position to have extended success for the foreseeable future. All because they botched a trade so bad that it made everyone's head spin.

The Bruins situation is eerily similar, albeit not quite as bad for two reasons: 1) Sturm, Stuart and Primeau are actually servicable hockey players and b) most importantly (I've been harping on this since the trade actually happened), there is a hard cap in the NHL. The Thornton trade, like the Kazmir trade, woke up the Jacobs family, finally forced Harry Sinden and his Brigade out of the front office and brought in a regime, through Peter Chiarelli, that is setting out to make calculated, aggressive hockey decisions. Sounds obvious, but I'm conviced Mike O'Connell ran his team by searching Google for online forums like "We Love Enforcers Who Can't Skate Well", "The Draft Isn't That Important" and "If NHL '94 Doesn't Need More Than One Scoring Line, Than Neither Do We".

In the Mets case, they could have afforded Kazmir forever, so the only benefit was that it shook things up...but in the case of the Bruins, they received the Kazmir-induced shake-up, the booty from the Thornton trade (three servicable players)...and tons of cap room. Luckily, Chiarelli, with help from Jeff Gorton et al, delivered, producing two studs: Zdeno Chara and Marc Savard. Chara is certainly a freak of nature who is a very solid defensemen (with flaws, I may add, but still very good) but Savard...he's the reason I write this song....he's virtually Joe Thornton without the pedigree, attention and reputation. Check this out:

2006-2007 - Regular Season - Points - TOTAL POINTS

11 MARC SAVARD C BOS 31 games 11 G 30 A 41 P
15 JOE THORNTON C SJS 34 games 9 G 30 A 39 P

20 PATRICE BERGERON C BOS 31 games 10 G 27 A 37 P

Interesting...first of all the franchise-killing decision has, in 12 short months, been somewhat resolved. Second, the Bruins have two centers in the Top 20 in scoring. They are very much in the mix for the playoffs. They've been very competitive since everything settled down in October. All the panic and doomsday scenarios, when you take a step back, were a tad overplayed. Briefly, the Phil Kessel testicular cancer thing seems to be, thankfully, a managable situation. If he's okay physically and mentally, he's going to be amazing...he has top notch hands and wheels, but cancer is obviously unpredictable.

All in all, I'm enjoying the Bruins. For those who swore them off, just want to let you know that there's actually been a regime change...not sure if you noticed. Yes, the crowds at the TD are currently pathetic and it's going to take a little while to fix that, but in the end there is in fact a hockey team in Boston and we could be watching some late spring hockey very soon.

Incidental Milk

2006-12-18T14:49:00.000-05:00

I bought a box of Junior Mints this afternoon during my lunch break and, while riding the elevator back to my office, happened to read the warning on the side of the box...

Warnings

Allergen Information
- Manufactured on shared equipment with milk-containing products
- Incidental milk may be present

"Incidental milk?" I'm sorry. Did you say "incidental milk" may be present? Yikes. Now there's a two word phrase I never expected to hear. And, to be perfectly frank, I hope I never hear it again. Incidental milk? No thanks.

10 Cent Freeze Pops

Random Thoughts at the Deadline

Play it again

Random Sox Thoughts...

And like that...

Globe Trotting

Music Finds You

CB Buckner Review

Genre Review - Country

Some of my favorite bands in the world are Country. Country is a major section of music with a bunch of genres within it. Stop giving it a bad name.

GradeCountry: APeople who say “I like everything buy Country”: F

Traffic Boners

Movie Review - King's Ransom

Facebook Status Reviews

Language Review - Irresistibly Irish

Lyrics Analysis (Funky Cold Medina)

Candy Land - Website Reviews

Old S.I. Review (April 27, 1987)

Chasing Patron

Target - Pearl Jam Commercial

Poppin' Ain't So Easy Neither

It's Showtime

I Was Born To Lick Your Face

The Tiger Woods Experience

Blogging Is Hard

White Collar Boy- Belle and Sebastian

Tom Waits - Waltzing Matilda

Otis, My Man

Springsteen - Candy's Room

Ain't No Sunshine

Ch-Check It Out

Wilco

Lip Gloss by Lil Mama

Chillin' With Jim Rice

Still Fighting It

He Has Me In Stitches

Classic

Mr. Intellivision

The Masters

Not Bad, Biff. Not Bad...

It's Great To Be A Florida Gator...

Serving You Up

Vintage Gus

Hey Now, Jeffs!

Please Stop

Lyrics Analysis (Things That Make You Go Hmmm...)

Shootout Goals

Every Breath You Take

Old S.I. Review (April 12, 1993)

Sega On Your Mobile

He's Drinking a Frappe Down Cellar

More Globe Archive Stuff (Tom Glavine, Hockey Player, Edition)

From the Boston Globe Archives....

Of Babies & Brady's

Young Shaq Throws It Down

Lyrical Foolishness

Will the streak continue

They Say I Look Like Hasselhoff

Rollin' With Kid 'N Play

Mid-Semester Review

Keys to a Long Commute

Follow The Bouncing Puck

Old S.I. Review (February 5, 1990)

Baseball is Better Now

About Time

Craftmatic Adjustable Bed

Lyrics Question

Bauer Hour

Mixtape #2

Mixtape

Where is my FREAKING phone!!!

Clearing My Mind

Flyers on PRISM

Girl Scout Cookies

Looking For Some Furniture?

Welcome to the Classy Parade

Another Example

Raymond Berry's Pats

Bend It Like Homer

Bo vs. Roenick: The Age Old Debate

Grade
Country: A
People who say “I like everything buy Country”: F